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Have you ever found "The One"
(09-22-2015, 11:59 PM)Eliraven Wrote: This is exclusively about romantic love and super long too Smile

For me, I can totally said that I never had even a good copy of it. Even though I'm 21 years old and I still have many years ahead of me. I'm throwing the towel but not because I gave up on love.

Since we were born, or family members and basically everyone told us how one day we will meet this amazing person and everything will be butterflies & rainbows. Romantic love was not an option but something that life own us. They were no doubts or questions, we were guarantee we will all have it.

But then you start dating and all this illusions and hope you have for love fade cruelly once reality sinks in. You get obsessed when you see couples together, only to find out most of them constantly fight, are together because kids or financial problems,because they are to lazy to start dating again or because they are afraid of being alone. Then we see bad people who cheat & do horrible stuff to their partner yet they always found more people to love them whole hearty.

And we are in a corner, thinking how much we want an unconditional love, cause we know what is to be alone, unappreciated, and we know how much it hurts. Everybody is looking for companionship, genuine love, someone who won't judge you and you can talk about anything. We are like this people, yet when people come into our life and we accepted the good and the bad they just step on us.

I have only had three relationship of about three months each{I know Sad}The first one we were just totally different in every single aspects of our life. I keep fighting for it until reality left no more room for fantasies & dreams.

My second relationship was with a guy who has the same taste & and lifestyle as me. And I though he was the one. Only to find out he cheated on me.Told his mom to pack my stuff and tell me we were done and the next day he let her in his house. And since we went to the same school, they laugh at my face every time we saw each other. And they even let my friends know their side of the story. And I ask myself: why love is so harsh with me? What did I did wrong? I just want to love and feel loved?

My third and last one was just a nightmare. We were from different cultures, religions. We have the age gap but I though we were looking for the same. I was 21, he was 38. He had a lot fail relationship and was alone all the time (barely no friends). And I though he was going to be mature about our situation and we will bring each other close because of our relationship failures.He should understand what is like being alone and wanting a true love.

I got involved in his every day life activities. I learn his religion and respect it (even though I never convert to it). I show him everyday that he didn't have to be afraid of falling in love again. That I know how much it hurts being alone and I will always be there for me, through thin and thick.

He made me believe he was talking with his parents about us, since my age was going to be a shock for them.Only to find out three months later his family was arranging his marriage with another girl. He told me he would go for it, cause he never choose good partners and he left that decision to his parents. I had to see him everyday, flirting with other girls in front of me, texting this girl and saying out loud how she was the one and how he didn't need more time to know her cause once you know, you know. He went a weekend to see her parents and arranged the wedding. Her parents didn't agree and the wedding was cancel. Now he came back ashamed and trying to be nice to me and talk to me. And I just think to myself, how low can he gets? That just shows his disrespect towards me. Did he honestly think I will be back after he left to pursue another one. Screw you. Now I am so disgusted every time I have to see him.

But I have to thank him for being my wake up call and seeing my mistake for the past two other relationships. I loved them more than me, and put them before me. So I decide to take a break from dating and getting the stupid concepts of love I had since I was little. I'm taking the time to date and love myself and to see who I really am. Because I know once I am the person who loves herself the most, romantic love will just be an option not a necessity.

1.What about you?
2.Have you ever found the one?
3.If so, how did it happen?
4.If not, when was your wake up call and what makes you think is not for you?
5.How many couples do you know that actually love themselves?
6.Do you still secretly want to find it?
7.Did your concept of love change through the years?What is it now?

1. This is my first post here on these forums, and this seemed like a meaningful thread. "What about me?" I believed in the myth of "finding that one person" and that all we would do one day is look in each other's eyes, swooningly, and never gaze elsewhere. "Happily ever after" with that special person always seemed like it would be so easy, too. Even as I grew older and saw that life and love was more complicated, I wanted to believe the myth so badly. And so...

2. I did find the one. She was my very first, and my very last, love. Now she's my wife, and all of the things I mentioned up above--- all of those things I wanted--- happened. We share the same hobbies, the same beliefs, the same sense of humor, and a deep, enduring friendship. But it didn't happen by accident.

3. To be frank, finding the love of my life was probably easier than most, because while I often feel crushingly introverted on the inside, I have a lively, gregarious, and socially bold personality. I was 14 years old when I met my wife, and the first time I saw her, I immediately approached her and started talking. However, I was a teenager that was very analytical and very serious about choosing the right person. I had an aunt that was married 4 times and divorced 4 times, and I realized the problem was that she was letting her feelings get in the way of finding the love of her life. Nothing fails like a relationship born of passion. I told myself that I couldn't leave this kind of thing up to happenstance, so I didn't let my feelings get in the way of the person that was right for me. My wife was my best friend in high school. I remember pushing thoughts of romance out of my head, because I didn't want it to get in the way of our affinity for one another. We were so comfortable with each other, even back then. In time, I found myself missing her, or if I had some thought, I realized that it was always her that I wanted to tell it to.

I made the decision that "this was the person that was right for me." There was no resounding moment of passion that brought us together. Passion, like any explosion, is powerful at its inception, but is destined to become smaller and smaller with time. Our love was like a forest: small at first, but because it was planted on the right terrain, it grew tall and rich and full. Our life together isn't hard. Even when terrible things happened to us, our love was never "hard." That being said, that doesn't mean it wasn't effortless. In the same way that pruning one's yard takes effort but isn't "unpleasant," my relationship with my wife has always required effort. We have rules to which we both subscribe, and we sometimes must remind ourselves of them.

I'm 32 years old now. It's been 18 years. I never doubt that I made the right choice, and no one can replace her. Our relationship is the product of nearly 20 years, and because of that, its impossible to replace her. Yes, I could find someone who was like the woman I met 18 years ago, but I could never meet the woman that she is now. We've grown together, as two vines woven together, giving one another support.

5. Aside from my relationship with my wife, I've seen plenty of others who love themselves.

6. I've already found it, so I don't need to secretly find it. However, I do wonder what my life would have been had it been driven more by passion. I would never want it, though.

7. Yes. I've learned that the love that is depicted in romantic comedies and romance novels is a farce and a fantasy. The only thing worse than wanting it is having it. Why? Because the ingredients required to create that love has an equal measure of suffering and misery as it does euphoria and passion. An explosion can be a sight to behold, but with that explosion always comes destruction.
I found my "soulmate" so-to-speak almost a decade ago and we aren't together now. My mother did not approve of him and at the time, I felt like pleasing my parents was the best choice because I wasn't sure how else to deal with it. I don't regret my choice, but I was a horrid mess for a long time, and he was always on my mind years after. We lost complete contact with one another two years back, and this year, we may actually meet up with each other for the first time in a very, very long time, for some coffee. I still believe he is my soulmate but I think our time together has long past expired. I have never considered anyone else in my life my soulmate or "The One," but I'm okay with that.
I haven't found ''The One'' yet and I think there can be many ''The Ones'' because this planet has 7 billion people in it after all. Of course human life is so short that we don't meet many of them, but it's possible to meet at least one ''The One'' I believe. But yeah, I haven't met him yet.

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