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DreamingOfValdez

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I subscribe to mailing lists so I'll get mail,
walk fast so I look like I have somewhere to go,
talk to people who dialed the wrong number,
and hold my cell phone to my ear so people think that I'm on the phone.

I talk to religious solicitors & door-to-door sales people,
make friends with whoever will talk to me,
and lie about my past.

What do you do?
 
Hey, DreamingOfValdez, nice thread :) To get rid of this shame that's messing with our lives

I can't tell people that I'm lonely
I can't tell people when I'm hurt
I am always in a rush and make everybody think I have a great social life
I lie when somebody asks me why I didn't go somewhere (I usually find another reason, and try to forget that in fact I didn't have anybody to go with)
Right now, I'm surfing the Net because I didn't have anyone to call

Outside, I am this "almost normal" person who is always smiling and having fun. Inside, I'm this person which had a rough time for last few years, but can't admit that to the environment. (environment meaning people that I meet on college or some of my old "friends", acquaintances better said  ) Who can't let anyone see who she really is. I think that is my problem.
 
Luna_luce said:
Hey, DreamingOfValdez, nice thread :) To get rid of this shame that's messing with our lives

I can't tell people that I'm lonely
I can't tell people when I'm hurt
I am always in a rush and make everybody think I have a great social life
I lie when somebody asks me why I didn't go somewhere (I usually find another reason, and try to forget that in fact I didn't have anybody to go with)
Right now, I'm surfing the Net because I didn't have anyone to call

Outside, I am this "almost normal" person who is always smiling and having fun. Inside, I'm this person which had a rough time for last few years, but can't admit that to the environment. (environment meaning people that I meet on college or some of my old "friends", acquaintances better said  ) Who can't let anyone see who she really is. I think that is my problem.

Maybe you could draw closer to your passed aqcuaintances. Like the next time theres a party on campus invite them. And while your there maybe you can also meet new people.
 
lonelyinbk said:
Luna_luce said:
Hey, DreamingOfValdez, nice thread :) To get rid of this shame that's messing with our lives

I can't tell people that I'm lonely
I can't tell people when I'm hurt
I am always in a rush and make everybody think I have a great social life
I lie when somebody asks me why I didn't go somewhere (I usually find another reason, and try to forget that in fact I didn't have anybody to go with)
Right now, I'm surfing the Net because I didn't have anyone to call

Outside, I am this "almost normal" person who is always smiling and having fun. Inside, I'm this person which had a rough time for last few years, but can't admit that to the environment. (environment meaning people that I meet on college or some of my old "friends", acquaintances better said  ) Who can't let anyone see who she really is. I think that is my problem.

Maybe you could draw closer to your passed aqcuaintances. Like the next time theres a party on campus invite them. And while your there maybe you can also meet new people.


Yeah, in theory that all seems pretty simple, but I've made some steps to try and become friends with them and no, it didn't work. Why? I don't know. It's a closed circle, perhaps. Because I probably scare them too, and they scare me, and the more they scare me I become more closed and then they sense it and become more closed, too........nasty spiral.
 
Luna_luce said:
lonelyinbk said:
Luna_luce said:
Hey, DreamingOfValdez, nice thread :) To get rid of this shame that's messing with our lives

I can't tell people that I'm lonely
I can't tell people when I'm hurt
I am always in a rush and make everybody think I have a great social life
I lie when somebody asks me why I didn't go somewhere (I usually find another reason, and try to forget that in fact I didn't have anybody to go with)
Right now, I'm surfing the Net because I didn't have anyone to call

Outside, I am this "almost normal" person who is always smiling and having fun. Inside, I'm this person which had a rough time for last few years, but can't admit that to the environment. (environment meaning people that I meet on college or some of my old "friends", acquaintances better said  ) Who can't let anyone see who she really is. I think that is my problem.

Maybe you could draw closer to your passed aqcuaintances. Like the next time theres a party on campus invite them. And while your there maybe you can also meet new people.


Yeah, in theory that all seems pretty simple, but I've made some steps to try and become friends with them and no, it didn't work. Why? I don't know. It's a closed circle, perhaps. Because I probably scare them too, and they scare me, and the more they scare me I become more closed and then they sense it and become more closed, too........nasty spiral.
That sucks. I also made an attempt to get closer to past aquantainces well because they tried first. But I messed it up. I don't even want to get into how. but yeah I did.:(
 
lonelyinbk said:
Luna_luce said:
lonelyinbk said:
Luna_luce said:
Hey, DreamingOfValdez, nice thread :) To get rid of this shame that's messing with our lives

I can't tell people that I'm lonely
I can't tell people when I'm hurt
I am always in a rush and make everybody think I have a great social life
I lie when somebody asks me why I didn't go somewhere (I usually find another reason, and try to forget that in fact I didn't have anybody to go with)
Right now, I'm surfing the Net because I didn't have anyone to call

Outside, I am this "almost normal" person who is always smiling and having fun. Inside, I'm this person which had a rough time for last few years, but can't admit that to the environment. (environment meaning people that I meet on college or some of my old "friends", acquaintances better said  ) Who can't let anyone see who she really is. I think that is my problem.

Maybe you could draw closer to your passed aqcuaintances. Like the next time theres a party on campus invite them. And while your there maybe you can also meet new people.


Yeah, in theory that all seems pretty simple, but I've made some steps to try and become friends with them and no, it didn't work. Why? I don't know. It's a closed circle, perhaps. Because I probably scare them too, and they scare me, and the more they scare me I become more closed and then they sense it and become more closed, too........nasty spiral.
That sucks. I also made an attempt to get closer to past aquantainces well because they tried first. But I messed it up. I don't even want to get into how. but yeah I did.:(

Yeah, I know what you mean. It's always like things start out fine and then a set of "coincidences" happens and "you blew it up again".....:rolleyes: Tired of it myself, too.
 
I'll admit that I've done this before. In high school, when I had ZERO, count ZERO close friends, I would lie in my French journal. I'd write about meeting a friend over the weekend. I bet you anything my teacher (who was a total ******* *****) probably knew I was making it up, too! Embarassing!

I've held the phone up to my ear before to pretend I had a friend to talk to. That's pathetic (but I've heard that a good percentage of the people you see walking down the street, smiling and talking on their cells are faking it, too!)

Oh well. I have zero close friends. I'm scared in every social situation. I hate people. Well, fake and phony snobby and judgemental people, anyway!
 
That's so funny. I knew other people do the phone thing. I don't do it that often, but I do it. I find myself doing that when I see people looking at me while I'm walking. I do it to scare them off I suppose. Nobody approaches a stranger on a cell phone. Sometimes I just don't want people talking to me.
 
Luna_luce said:
Hey, DreamingOfValdez, nice thread :) To get rid of this shame that's messing with our lives

I can't tell people that I'm lonely
I can't tell people when I'm hurt
I am always in a rush and make everybody think I have a great social life
I lie when somebody asks me why I didn't go somewhere (I usually find another reason, and try to forget that in fact I didn't have anybody to go with)
Right now, I'm surfing the Net because I didn't have anyone to call

Outside, I am this "almost normal" person who is always smiling and having fun. Inside, I'm this person which had a rough time for last few years, but can't admit that to the environment. (environment meaning people that I meet on college or some of my old "friends", acquaintances better said ) Who can't let anyone see who she really is. I think that is my problem.

this describes me to a tee. on top of all that i can't talk on the phone for some reason... i'm always afraid i won't have something to say or there will be awkward silence which is probably a big reason my social life has been in a slum... i have ppl i could call to hang out but i don't know what do say or how to say lets hang out without sounding needy. in person i'm so much more comfortable and myself. this is why i text instead of making calls.
 
Hey guys,

This is totally embarassing...I'm glad we 'fessed up.

Don't be afraid to call someone. Email is easier and less intimidating. It's also easier for a person to say no if they don't feel like it, so it's better.

Just send one to that person that you are thinking of befriending. Very, very casual, as if you barely care. Just say,

Hi ____,

It's me, _____. I wanted to know if you'd like to get together (after school, class, etc) at Starbuck's. (or your local coffee house).

Take care,

______.

This is super casual and not too scary. Good luck!
 
Sometimes I lie, sometimes I don't. I'm so tired of telling people nothing when they ask me about my weekend. Sometimes I just lie.

One time when I didn't lie was when we had special day in high school. Don't know exactly what it was about, but we were three classes in a classroom with a guy asking one at a time what "happiness was to you?". Everyone said something like "hanging out with friends". When he asked me I said I wasn't really sure. Of course he wasn't satisfied with that. Started asking me about my friends (which I didn't have), and I basicly had to say to him and 70 people that I didn't have any friends and I spend all my time home in front of the TV and computer. Best part of it was that he said that my life sounded pretty sad, and some people were laughing. If I had a gun I would've shot myself at that very moment.
 
lonelygirl said:
I'll admit that I've done this before. In high school, when I had ZERO, count ZERO close friends, I would lie in my French journal. I'd write about meeting a friend over the weekend. I bet you anything my teacher (who was a total ******* *****) probably knew I was making it up, too! Embarassing!

I've held the phone up to my ear before to pretend I had a friend to talk to. That's pathetic  (but I've heard that a good percentage of the people you see walking down the street, smiling and talking on their cells are faking it, too!)

Oh well. I have zero close friends. I'm scared in every social situation. I hate people. Well, fake and phony snobby and judgemental people, anyway!

Well if it is any comfort, you are not alone. Being lonely is one thing, but having a miserable life to boot, is another trip i don't wish even my worse enemy. Do talk to me lonely girl, maybe we can help eachother! I don't know if this site allows to mark one's email, but for all it woth here it goes: [email protected] and for all wjo ses my email' feel free to write to me. wishin' ya'all a nice day! Avi Dagan' Yavniel' Israel
 
I don't have that problem because nobody asks me how I passed my weekend. :)

Avi: I'm also from Israel!! Which city you live in? (we can talk about this in email)
 
What do I do? When I meet knew people I talk about aquaintances like they are friends. "My friend so-and-so..." And this is all because I have systematically lost my friends over the years and lack the social skills to make new ones. I feel so full of shame.
 
But how many of the so-called friends bandied about in empty gossip are every truly that much more than chums or acquaintances? Indeed, if they where, would such precious and personal confidences ever be dropped so casually and publicly?
 

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