Do people really pay for the bad things they do.

Do people really pay for the bad things they do. I want to believe that yes. But since a few years ago I'm not so sure anymore.

I have seen so many people doing horrible stuff to others, from family members to friends, to ex partners and they don't seem to pay for anything, in fact they seem to be rewarded.

1.A close family member of mine is a "gold digger", she cheated multiple partners, yet she lives today free of any financial worries...Buys anything she wants and she has they guy she loved on the side and they see each other behind her husband back.

2.My two past ex-boyfriend had cheated on me and they married the women they did it with. Yet nothing happens to them either.

3. I have a "friend" of mine, who always cheated on her boyfriend. She will even bring the guys to her house and sleep with them. She dumped her boyfriend and now is with another friend of mine which treat her like a queen and she still keeps cheating.

And so on.... I get so frustrated and angry at life for not doing justice. But them maybe we are born as two types: The ones who will achieve no matter what and then ones who will pay the consequences no matter what.

1.Do you believe that people pay for the bad things they do?

2.Is there anybody who you know hasn't pay for their bad stuff?

3.Do you know anybody who has pay for their bad actions.

4. What's your view on karma?

5. How do you let go of the people who do bad to you?

1.Do you believe that people pay for the bad things they do?
Maybe not right away but I'd like to think that they all do, in the long run.

2.Is there anybody who you know hasn't pay for their bad stuff?
Well basically none of them has payed for their "bad stuff".

3.Do you know anybody who has pay for their bad actions.
EDIT: Well, many people should pay for many things they have done. They still haven't.

4. What's your view on karma?
I'd like for it to work a little better XD

5. How do you let go of the people who do bad to you?
Heh. This is a good question. It usually takes a very long time, and it happens gradually.

Eliraven said:

1.Do you believe that people pay for the bad things they do?

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No. I believe justice is a human construct. Some pay, others don't. It's all up to chance.

Eliraven said:

2.Is there anybody who you know hasn't pay for their bad stuff?

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Yes. I've known people who steel and cheat and are doing better financially and socially that other more hardworking people. I don't remember an specific case right now but they are common.

Eliraven said:

3.Do you know anybody who has pay for their bad actions.

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Not personally but yes, I've head many stories from friends who have known bad people that finally got what they deserve.

Eliraven said:

4. What's your view on karma?

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Doesn't exist.

Eliraven said:

5. How do you let go of the people who do bad to you?

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Just 0 tolerance. At the first fault, I cut all contact with them. Of course I do this only with big faults.

Eliraven said:

1.Do you believe that people pay for the bad things they do?

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Some do and some don't. It would be nice to thing that everyone pays for the bad things they do but life doesn't always work that way, unfortunately.

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Eliraven said:

2.Is there anybody who you know hasn't pay for their bad stuff?

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Yes.

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Eliraven said:

3.Do you know anybody who has pay for their bad actions.

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Yes

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Eliraven said:

4. What's your view on karma?

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Karma is a man-made invention, started by Buddhism, and now people run with it with ridiculous, meaningless memes like "Karma's gonna get you!" and "Karma's a *****!" In my opinion and experience, bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people with no rhyme or reason. I don't think there's some unseen mystical force controlling things in that respect.

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Eliraven said:

5. How do you let go of the people who do bad to you?

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That is a hard question because there are many wolves in sheep's clothing out there. In my experience, there are people who pretend to care and do good but actually will knock you down and then kick you if given half the chance, and all with a smile on their face. Hypocrites, I guess would be the right word here. And there's not a correct and simple formula for getting rid someone who does bad to you, it just depends on the situation.
Are you trying to let go of someone who did bad things to you?

-Teresa

Are you trying to let go of someone who did bad things to you?

-Teresa

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Yes... Is it that noticeable?. Is taking me a lot of me trying to let go, when all I want is for life to make them pay. And it doesn't help when I see them almost every day and they rub their happiness on my face.


I actually like each and every explanation of karma mention by the three of you. Especially the one where karma is a human creation. Very true...

Are you trying to let go of someone who did bad things to you?

-Teresa

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Yes... Is it that noticeable?. Is taking me a lot of me trying to let go, when all I want is for life to make them pay. And it doesn't help when I see them almost every day and they rub their happiness on my face.


I actually like each and every explanation of karma mention by the three of you. Especially the one where karma is a human creation. Very true...
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It's like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.
It's difficult to have to see someone like that almost every day but I've found that every bad person I've known has disappeared eventually from my life. Whether I made sure I don't have to deal with them or they just moved on to bother other people, those types eventually go away.

-Teresa

SofiasMami said:

Are you trying to let go of someone who did bad things to you?

-Teresa

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Yes... Is it that noticeable?. Is taking me a lot of me trying to let go, when all I want is for life to make them pay. And it doesn't help when I see them almost every day and they rub their happiness on my face.


I actually like each and every explanation of karma mention by the three of you. Especially the one where karma is a human creation. Very true...

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It's like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.
It's difficult to have to see someone like that almost every day but I've found that every bad person I've known has disappeared eventually from my life. Whether I made sure I don't have to deal with them or they just moved on to bother other people, those types eventually go away.

-Teresa
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Yes, it is like poison. I try to focus on me and my actions but then that person does something more lower and horrible. Just when you think there is nothing else they can do.

Dissapearing from my life is actually the only hope/option that I am left right now. I want this nightmare to end. The adult world is much harder than I though it was going to be, especially with so many low people around.

What do you mean by "disappearing from from my own life"?

-Teresa

I'm sorry ... I don't mean it in a bad way. Just that they leave to some other place... far away from me. They vanish from my life.

Eliraven said:

I'm sorry ... I don't mean it in a bad way. Just that they leave to some other place... far away from me. They vanish from my life.

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Oh, ok. So they might not get payback for bad things they've done but at least you don't have to be reminded of bad things they've done if they're not around all the time.

-Teresa

It depends on what bad actions you're talking about. I think it's more about chance than anything else. As frustrating as it seems, not everyone pays for their actions. Certainly from the examples you put it's pretty annoying, because people who do those kind of things is hurting people in the process, and it's horrible that they get away with it. Because we live in a world with justice it's logical to think that these people will get punished sooner or later.

I do know people who have paid for their actions, but nothing like on a scale relating to the examples you put. Just small things really.

Like many others I think karma's just a man-made construct, like I said before a lot of people believe in justice and this is just another way for it to be implied to personal and social matters.

Admittedly I'm not that great at letting go of things, I remember just about everything and everyone that wronged me. Some may say it's not really healthy but I've honestly can't find a method that works, the mind is so strong and sometimes it seems impossible to go against it's impulses and ways. Normally I just try and forget about it, it's kinda become normal.

i don't think it's that simple as good and bad are a matter of perspective. the real question is are human beings fundamentally moral beings? most people who do "bad" things-i.e. harming others, believe they are justified in doing so and many may even believe they are actually doing something good, or at least neutral. most people even resist change when they come to realize that their actions are indeed harming others, even while they continue to think of themselves as a "good" person. for example, consuming animal products (ie. flesh, dairy or eggs) supports unthinkable suffering, torture and death yet the vast majority of people don't give what (or whom) they are eating a second thought. from a human's point of view, it is only a meal soon forgotten, a momentary pleasure, while from the non-human victim's point of view, it's a matter of life and death.

to me, it all comes down to the Golden Rule-if you would not wish to experience something yourself, it is never ethical to force it upon others, regardless of their species.

Eliraven said:

1.Do you believe that people pay for the bad things they do?

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Yes and no. I think eventually people come to realize that some of what they have done might have been bad and feel guilty for it.

Eliraven said:

2.Is there anybody who you know hasn't pay for their bad stuff?

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Again, yes and no. While it APPEARS they haven't "paid" for the bad things they did, it's impossible for me to know what is happening in their life or what they are going through, so they could be "paying" for it and I don't know.

Eliraven said:

3.Do you know anybody who has pay for their bad actions.

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Yes and no. I don't feel they exactly deserve some of the things that have happened to them.
People I know who have committed crimes have been caught and been sentenced to their punishments. Deserved, of course.
People who were healthy have gotten sick. Not, in any way, deserved.

Eliraven said:

4. What's your view on karma?

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I don't believe in it. I feel it's up to a person to decide and figure out what they are have done wrong and take the appropriate actions to correct it.
I don't feel that some unseen force in the universe decides whether bad or good happens to a person, it's up to each individual person how to handle things that happen in their lives, whether they are good or bad.
I also don't believe in revenge, as that doesn't help a person be happy or move on to better things in life.
Make things happen if you want them (not referring to revenge here), don't just sit around waiting for things to happen.

Eliraven said:

5. How do you let go of the people who do bad to you?

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I forgive them, I forgive myself and I move on from it. I don't dwell on things that happened in the past because it's pointless and does me no good at all. When you live in the past, you aren't focusing on the present or the future. When you dwell on bad that is happening or has happened to you, you don't see the good in life. When you focus so much on whether or not someone else is "paying" for what they've done, you aren't focusing on yourself or your life. You aren't allowing good to happen in your life because you are too busy worrying about what you perceive as bad that has been done to you. Where does that get you?

As mgill said, good and bad are a matter of perspective. What is bad to me, may not be bad to you. What is good to you, may not be good to me.

1. Yes
2. I hope not
3. Yes
4. It will come back to bite you in the ass and I've seen it happen.
5. Just put them behind you to get a good view of your ass where they belong. And don't be afraid to pass gas when they are downwind, it's all the honeysuckle they deserve.

People who treat others badly often end up on the receiving end eventually. Not always of course.

Some people will mature a bit, realize what they've done, and it bothers them for the rest of their lives.

Eliraven said:

......
1.Do you believe that people pay for the bad things they do?
2.Is there anybody who you know hasn't pay for their bad stuff?
3.Do you know anybody who has pay for their bad actions.
4. What's your view on karma?
5. How do you let go of the people who do bad to you?

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I also think about this a lot. It bothers me.

1. Absolutely everything has consequences, but not all consequences are something you care about. The person who does you wrong who doesn't need or care about your friendship. The board of a company that fires a lot of workers, where the workers have no leverage at all back at them... The human race that exterminates other species that can't fight back (hopefully we crush earth's ecosystem and get our punishment eventually)

2. Yeah. They faced consequences, but not meaningful ones (see 1)

3. Not really. Most people kick downwards and get no problems.

4. Karma is when those small consequences you thought you could ignore, blows up in proportions. It's a rare occurence though. It's just as likely that some good deed you're doing amounts to nothing by some chain of events.

5. I will stop supporting them. I never seek revenge though, even though I sometimes would like. Because usually the people who do bad against you are above you on the ladder, and you face big consequences if YOU try to do them "wrong".

Eliraven said:

1.Do you believe that people pay for the bad things they do?

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Yes and no, but mostly no.
This sense of 'justice' you seem to have or want isn't real, from my experiences. You seem to want every "wrong" to be equated by a "right", or perhaps another 'wrong', depending how you see it. That just isn't ever going to happen. And I don't believe in any divine karmic force to assert itself upon humanity. It just doesn't happen.

The world simply isn't just so black-and-white. It is not divided into good and evil, or right and wrong.

Do bad people get away with bad things? Yes, absolutely. It happens regularly.
Do they get away with it completely? No, not really, not always.

When people do "bad" things they often have feeling like guilt or self-hate. They know what they've done wrong and that is a natural component to such behavior.
And when they don't have guilt, feel remorse, or etc. they will often be hated by society, or maybe just by large groups.
"Cheaters" often have a stigma about them, and anyone knowing they once cheated will always be in fear they will cheat again, including anyone they might marry.
"Gold diggers" receive even more of a stigma. Often times people will see clearly through that facade and see them for what they are, not wanting to even be around them. These are two easy ways to ensure you have lots of issues in your love-life.

The more hateful someone's actions the more likely it is people will hate them in return, or that they might even hate themselves. You get what you give, for a large part.
So in some ways it depends on what you mean by "pay" and what you mean by "bad things".

Not everything is so easily divided, though. Look at any of the politicians or big businessmen in the world. They've pretty much all done horrible, often unspeakable, things. Yet they are praised as leaders. They are given almost every physical reward. They live in luxury homes, drive luxury cars, and generally just don't have any worries about things like paying their bills or where they might sleep or where they'll get their next meal.

And what if you're simply just born into a rich family? Or born into a poor one? Where is the justice there? It's obviously seen that there isn't some force in the universe balancing out human lives. I'm not sure how anyone would ever believe such a thing.

Is there some divine after-life which will truly alter the "justice" upon people? I'm not going to say I know such a thing, but I will point out that we can't rely on such a thing to exist right now. We should take what we know and evaluate our world based on that.

Eliraven said:

2.Is there anybody who you know hasn't pay for their bad stuff?

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Most people haven't paid for their "bad stuff".
I'd even bet you've done plenty of "bad stuff" yourself and never "paid" for it.
That's life, though. None of us are perfect.

Eliraven said:

3.Do you know anybody who has pay for their bad actions.

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I know people who have 'paid' for things they never even did.
So yes, I know some people like that, too, I guess.

As I said above, it's just not black-and-white. There is an entire world out there with every shade imaginable and probably more.

Eliraven said:

4. What's your view on karma?

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Depends on what kind of "karma" you're talking about.
"Karma" is most often just a term people throw around in conversation, not really understanding its meaning or its origins. For them it's this divine justice, something that equates rights and wrongs everywhere. From my perspective that is certainly something that doesn't exist and isn't even really possible given the evidence against it. And I don't know if I've ever met anyone who truly believes it does when faced with questions such as these.

I don't really believe in the Buddhist "karma" either, myself, but in those terms at least I would say it might be possible.

And if we're talking about the meaning of terms, why not ask what is "bad" and what is "good"? These are two terms that are not quite as easily defined as you might want them to be. What happens when the morality is not so clear?

Eliraven said:

5. How do you let go of the people who do bad to you?

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From my experience, the key to that is simply acknowledging your own "bad" side.
Once you realize all the "bad" that you do yourself it no longer becomes an issue anymore. You forgive them exactly as you would forgive yourself.

When people do "bad" things they often have feeling like guilt or self-hate. They know what they've done wrong and that is a natural component to such behavior.

I'd even bet you've done plenty of "bad stuff" yourself and never "paid" for it.
That's life, though. None of us are perfect.

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Well, that's actually my other dilemma. Yes, I have done "bad stuff". Absolutely, I'm not a saint, not at all. But I feel when I have done them, I feel the guilt and remorse you said we "have". But then I tried to forgive myself and I go beyond my one to apologize for that person and show him/her that it was never my intention to hurt them.

And yes, I actually feel that I pay for them. As soon as I do something "bad", life tends to do "bad" stuff to me.

And I am actually glad it happens, cause it helps me work on myself cause I realize my wrongdoings and I try to make them better.

I want everybody, including me, to pay for all the "bad" stuff we have done. No exceptions. This is my biggest resentment against life.

But then, the are this type of people who do wrong intentionally. They step on other people, not caring for their feelings. Yet, they never apologize for all the wrong they have been doing.

Let's put an example hereMy cheating ex)

So, everything was fine in our relationship. We will go out to movies, we will cook for each other. He was talking with his family about me(so they could start accepting me). We went to trips together. We start sharing our plans for the future. The things we value and the things we don't. Just like a normal couple.

And then one day, out of the blue. He tells me that he doesn't want to try anymore, all of a sudden I was too much baggage for him and his family said no to us.Not apologies, not honesty, no sincerity.

We have a lot of common friends. So "his" friends(I don't longer consider them mine) told me that he has talking with another girl and he was going to see her that weekend. When he came back, he told everybody how she is the one and that he found the perfect girl, bla, bla,bla. And that he will marry her soon.

Not every time he sees me, he only laughs on my face. And tries to be so happy.

Now I know bad people like him will never show their misery to people like us. So, I don't bother when he let's me know about his details on his personal life.


Why he wasn't a man and he told me since the beginning, he didn't want anything serious with me. Why you have to play with my feelings like that. I show him my god, my bad and everything in between and he "accepted" whole hearty, just like I did with his.

Everybody defends him because he puts a different mask to the outside world and I am treated like the bad girl who left him. Because he wanted to keep flirting with me, even though he did that to me and he was going out with the other girl. I would never let myself be treated like that.

My mom tells me, that not everybody gets what they want, we get what we need.

Yet, after all the bad stuff I have been knowing about him and the way he treats people. Do you think he deserves getting married and having a family after all the wrongdoings he did? I don't think so.

Why he gets to accomplish his dreams, while hurting other people. Why life give him that reward? Why?

Why you have to make promises and behave like a normal boyfriend? When you know I am not serious to you? Why then you come and laugh at my face? Why did I did to you?Do you think he didn't know that what he was doing was morally wrong?

My request is simple: that people pay the exact same way they make others suffers, so they feel the pain and how much it hurts.

But this just doesn't seem to happen. They know what they do is wrong, yet they never cared or apologize to it. Yet life rewards them with what they want.

I'm so tired of it all. That sometimes I think I will have to be bad, so life rewards me with what I want. But I can't I get too hurt, If I hurt someone.

Eliraven said:

Yet, after all the bad stuff I have been knowing about him and the way he treats people. Do you think he deserves getting married and having a family after all the wrongdoings he did? I don't think so.

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I personally do not know either of you, so I couldn't judge.
But there are things about him that you do not know, either. So are you even sure you're judging him fairly?

I've found that judgment towards others is often more of a reflection of ourselves.
We see things we do not like, and we know we do not like them because we sometimes see these things in ourselves.
But the way we experience the world and the way it actually is are two different things sometimes. Our judgments are often not correct, and that is part of being human, being imperfect.

So personally, even if I was in your position I would not judge him. I would want for him to be happy, like I want for all people. But also wish for him to learn of his errors, for the pain he causes you, and perhaps someday learn to live his life better. And I would simply be happy knowing that I was part of that experience. Part of what would someday make him whole.

I do not worry about judgements. No rewards or punishments for anyone. That isn't real life. I just see things how they are and learn to accept them, wanting the best for everyone.
But that is just me. That is just what I've learned to do to avoid all of the resentment, the pain, the judgments, and etc.

That isn't to say I do not get angry, that I can tolerate horrible acts being done right now, or any such things. There is a time and a place for everything.
But it does mean that I understand the past is the past and that people can and do change and that there is no point, at least for me, to judge who they once were.
I came to this realization one day because I realized that if I were to judge myself based on who I used to be, then I could not even like myself. I had to let things go. I have changed, and I needed to accept that in order to move on.

Eliraven said:

Why he gets to accomplish his dreams, while hurting other people. Why life give him that reward? Why?

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From my perspective, there is truly no path in life that goes without hurting someone.
A path that hurts no one else is one filled with misery and pain for yourself. This is another thing that I've learned.

As for 'rewards', I think we create our own rewards, and often times our own punishments. If we sincerely seek happiness, we will often find it. That isn't so much a reward as something you work towards.
And if we know we have wronged, often that pain will torture us because we are torturing our self. That is a punishment we create, as an atonement. And there is only one remedy for that.

Eliraven said:

Why you have to make promises and behave like a normal boyfriend? When you know I am not serious to you? Why then you come and laugh at my face? Why did I did to you?Do you think he didn't know that what he was doing was morally wrong?

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I do not know your situation, but are you sure he knew that you weren't serious to him? Perhaps he didn't know himself as well as you think he did.
It's possible that his actions were not intended out of malice, but confusion and pain.
We all do things we regret sometimes. As I said above there is no path in life without pain. Perhaps he didn't mean to or want to hurt you, but he had no choice. And likely some things were said, which weren't really meant. Probably on both sides, as well.

But it's somewhat possible he's a sociopath. Maybe he physically cannot comprehend empathy. Or perhaps he has just shut off others. I can't know, and I don't have all the information anyway.

I won't say that life makes these things 'fair' to anyone. Nor will I say you're ever going to get an apology every time you face such a thing. But I will say, once again, that life is not so black-and-white. It is not simply just good and bad, rewards and punishment. 'Justice' is not everything.

Those judgments, whose are they? Where do they linger in reality? On him, or in you? Judgments are a reflection of our self because they are derived from within and created there. If they had substance outside of ourselves they would be given to us, not created by us. Yet we do pass the judgments we create on to others, and they do weigh down on them. Just as judgments passed to us weigh down on us.

In my opinion, you just need to learn to forgive yourself, so that you can learn to forgive others. Everything you want will come from that.

The world is filled with colour, among the many shades of light and darkness. Your eyes do not need to see this to know that it is there. You have already experienced this without your eyes.

In my eyes, forgiveness is everything. It is the colour of the world.
No black and white to blind your eyes. Just beauty.

You do not need to see things my way, though.
I'm just explaining the way I see things myself, after many years of holding things in and trying to seek justice where there was none to be found.

Eliraven, it sounds to me like you want revenge. Why? Because you think that will somehow make your life better? Because you think that an eye for an eye will change anything that has ever happened to you?

It won't. The only thing that will make you happy is letting it go and moving on with your life. Stop living in the past and worrying about what other people are doing and what they do or do not deserve because that's not up to you to decide. His life is his life, your life is your life. Start living your life and stop worrying about his. You'll never be happy if you don't.

I also have to agree with Despicable Me about forgiveness. You can't get anywhere if you don't learn how to forgive. Both yourself and others.