Disclaimer: Advice provided bellow is based on my own experience.
I have been overcome more than 20 years or low/zero self-confidence, lack of ability to talk with women and s.o.
What I'm describing is a my way how to escape this cage. It doesn't mean it will work for everybody.
But consider it as one possible way. Without hate.
If it helps to at least one man it will be success.
All my advice are intended for men. Men with low self-esteem,
men with problem to communicate with women.
Men with high self-confidence or women are not target audience.
They will - probably - not understand them.
I have been overcome more than 20 years or low/zero self-confidence, lack of ability to talk with women and s.o.
What I'm describing is a my way how to escape this cage. It doesn't mean it will work for everybody.
But consider it as one possible way. Without hate.
If it helps to at least one man it will be success.
All my advice are intended for men. Men with low self-esteem,
men with problem to communicate with women.
Men with high self-confidence or women are not target audience.
They will - probably - not understand them.
You know the situation. First date! How to impress her?
You know how. You will book some good restaurant for dinner.
You see it like it already happened. You will spend nice time by chatting over quality food and good wine.
Then you will walk together towards her home under summer sky.
In front of the doors to her house you will wish her nice dreams,
will kiss her gently and will go to home.
Full of endorphin you will send text message inviting her to the cinema
on Friday. You have created good impression. She will accept it.
OK, back to reality. Restaurant booked, everything prepared.
And now... arrow directly to your heart.
The text message just hour before dinner. She cannot come.
Her cat is puking over the whole flat. Or she has to prepare for exam.
Or she is really cold. Or...
You call her back. She doesn't pick up phone.
You write text message. Then another one. In next hour another five ones...
It happened to me years and years. Do you know this scenario?
If yes, continue.
[Sometimes I will explain you how to react when it happens.]
But now I want to show you how to prevent such situation at all.
(OK - be realistic - decrease probability.)
Your idea about this dinner is described above. But do you think
woman will see it the same way? Perhaps. But often she sees it different way:
- I have to spend two or three hours with somebody I don't know. What
if he will be boring? Stupid? Pervert? - He will want to escort me to home. What if he will want to invite himself
to my flat? - What if he will want to have a sex? It's luxury dinner. Surely he will want to have sex.
...and then you will get text message hour before dinner. She will not call you. Just message.
(To lie over phone is much more difficult than over text message.)
Yes. You know her fears are pointless. But she doesn't know about it.
How to help her to accept your first date?
1. Plan it short.
Invite her for date with some time constrain.
Something like: "I have half hour of free time before bowling party with my friends. What about some coffee?"
This offer allows her spent just half hour if you will be boring to death.
(This is also rescue circle for you if she will be boring to death.)
What if both of you will found out you like each other and want to spend the whole evening by chatting about life, the Universe and everything?
No problem. You will not just leave after half hour.
If she is smart enough she will not ask.
When she ask, tell her that you like to chat with her more than play bowling (if you lied and no bowling is planned).
Or - if you are brave enough - tell her you lied and why.
If your friends are really waiting for you - cancel the bowling or...
...just invite her to bowling too.
2. Never plan something expensive/luxury on the first date.
You want to impress by your personality not by your money.
Buy her coffee. Or best hamburger from stand on the beach.
You - as gentleman - should pay for it. But "high bill" often looks like "pre-paid sex voucher".
To pay for coffee or burger is fine and will not create tension.
Invite her to place you visit often. Like coffee bar next your office.
Familiar environment allows you to be more relaxed.
"It's just small talk over coffee. It's not serious date. I don't need to worry."
Leave three hour long luxury dinner for third date...
I would really appreciate if you send me comment with most weird cancelling text message you got from woman. Thanks.
