A lass at work said

This young lass about 23. She said when she goes out, no lads ever try chatting her up. She said people don't meet like that anymore. It's all dating sites. She is very pretty as well.

I was surprized. She is with a guy who doesn't seem to treat her that well. She is worried he is messing about with other women. I thought there would a very long queue of men wanting to get to know her better. Since she is attractive and really nice.

I've seen so many snakes when I've been out that I don't believe that at all.

9006 said:

I've seen so many snakes when I've been out that I don't believe that at all.

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Yes maybe it was bullshit but she did say it to me.

Triple Bogey said:

Yes maybe it was bullshit but she did say it to me.

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I wouldn't like to say she's just lying and fishing for compliments, but from my own experience and what I see I find it highly unlikely.

As a girl, I do agree with her. I'd even go as far as saying that it's hard meeting people, period. Whether it's for friendship or a romantic relationship.

NoRain said:

As a girl, I do agree with her. I'd even go as far as saying that it's hard meeting people, period. Whether it's for friendship or a romantic relationship.

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I said to her 'So men don't approach you and introduce themselves ?'
Say something like 'Hi I'm Brad, would you like a drink ?' - She said it never happens.

I haven't really been in pubs or nightclubs for years. Don't men have chat up lines anymore ? Would you like a drink / dance etc. She said all the men do is get drunk.

If this is true why ?
Are men too shy ?
Don't they think they have a chance anymore ?

Don't know about today's mores, but I lived in england between the age of 21 and 23, at my prettiest, and no one ever made a pass at me or even looked at me. With today's wisdom, i was really shy and naive and probably just didn tnotice, what I am trying to add is that british guys are really shy too and hardly ever make a first move.

Triple Bogey said:

I said to her 'So men don't approach you and introduce themselves ?'
Say something like 'Hi I'm Brad, would you like a drink ?' - She said it never happens.

I haven't really been in pubs or nightclubs for years. Don't men have chat up lines anymore ? Would you like a drink / dance etc. She said all the men do is get drunk.

If this is true why ?
Are men too shy ?
Don't they think they have a chance anymore ?

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To be fair, I never sat alone by the bar, I'm always with other people. I don't go to nightclubs so I can't really say anything on that. When I do go dancing, I'll go to gay clubs/drag shows cause the whole "having a dude come over and try to rub his genitals on my ass" bothers me, I find it an invasion of personal space and feel uncomfortable (plus gay men are super nice and genuinely just want to dance and have fun with you)

I have never been approached at bars/pubs, ever. I'm four years older than the lass at your work, but still an attractive female. However, I've been told I don't look approachable, so maybe that's why...

Peaches said:

Don't know about today's mores, but I lived in england between the age of 21 and 23, at my prettiest, and no one ever made a pass at me or even looked at me. With today's wisdom, i was really shy and naive and probably just didn tnotice, what I am trying to add is that british guys are really shy too and hardly ever make a first move.

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When I was 18 in the 1980's, it was the normal thing to do. Even I did it, asked a girl to dance or buy a drink. And even 20 years ago when I was in this nightclub, it was happening all the time. Non stop. That's the trouble with socializing with women from work. The hordes of blokes chatting them up !

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Possibly what the girl meant was no 'nice' men chat her up. No men she considers dateable.

Guess I'm missing out by not joining the cesspool that is Tinder and Plenty of Fish.

NoRain said:

As a girl, I do agree with her. I'd even go as far as saying that it's hard meeting people, period. Whether it's for friendship or a romantic relationship.

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A friend of mine once said it's hard to make friends in your twenties. Truer words were never spoken.

I must see things similar to 9006. Even at work, i pretty much work a different area daily and when i work with a young lady i notice a number of young men feel the need to stop by, all vying for her attention. Not all ladies seem to get this treatment and of those that do some try to discourage having their work time taken up this way. Still it hints that you don't have to go to a dating site before a young lady is approached.

ardour said:

Guess I'm missing out by not joining the cesspool that is Tinder and Plenty of Fish.

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I see I'm not the only one who thinks this about these websites lol.
Since the advent of Tinder and the like, there's NO WAY I'll get back into online dating. I tried it a few years ago before all this swipe left, swipe right nonsense but not now. If I want a quick hookup, I'll go on Craigslist, for god's sake. (I wouldn't but I'm just saying.)

TB, I'm not sure how young adults in their early 20s meet up with others these days but I know social media plays a big part in it. I know single people also meet up the "old-fashioned" way too, although I've heard that people are losing conversational skills because they are too used to texting and messaging instead of live, face to face conversations, which does take some skill if you're going to be good at it.

-Teresa

If she's with a dude, why's she worried about other guys not talking to her?

Triple Bogey said:

This young lass about 23. She said when she goes out, no lads ever try chatting her up. She said people don't meet like that anymore. It's all dating sites. She is very pretty as well.

I was surprized. She is with a guy who doesn't seem to treat her that well. She is worried he is messing about with other women. I thought there would a very long queue of men wanting to get to know her better. Since she is attractive and really nice.

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Girls who end up with guys who don't treat them very well often have self-esteem issues. Don't believe they are worth being treated deep down or worry that can't get a decent guy.

People don't interact unless it is via phone.
I'm alone all the time and travel a lot so when I sick of staring at hotel rooms and re-ran all the cliche's theough my head, I'll venture out to a bar or lounge.
I used to be more of a hunter, so to speak. Never had an issue meeting girls at bars (I look pretty and harmless) but after the initial "Hey how you doing?" You can usually get a feel and nothing really worked better then just "wanna fresia?" If that's all we were there for. Not that it always worked, but it cut out the cat and mouse and onto the next subject. Sometimes the refusal was the best because we'd spend hours after just talking.

Now something is happening to me (I don't know if it is an age thing... honeysuckle, I'm almost 22!) and I tend to pick dark spots and bring a book and hide - it's nore a change of scenery and some weird need to be around people but knowing I won't ever be... So I watch. And it's truly apalling. I mean, families and dates that just sit across from each other and stare at their phones.

Now I'm a bit of a hypocrite because I'm not the greatest at communicating when I'm not being a fake cocky romancer. Give me alcohol, drugs, and a room full of people and if I'm in the right mood and I can get along just fine. Sober and one and one I'm a bit of an insecure chicken honeysuckle but I would TRY, if I had someone.

Today, there doesn't seem to be much try. Human communication is becoming lost - I wonder if anyone knows what it's like to touch someone without it being a fresia.

They say there is plenty of fish in the sea, and maybe it's an issue that the sea is at our fingertips. If we don't get what we want on the first date, you're next, because hey, there's a 1000 girls that match my profile that won't make me work so hard!

We're dispensible and easy to toss away because no one ever takes the time and effort to actually get to know someone anymore.

We're a bunch of lazy, inconsiderate, demeaning, selfish fucktards, basically.

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VanillaCreme said:

If she's with a dude, why's she worried about other guys not talking to her?

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He can, she can.
Not that I'm an expert because I've only been in one short relationship that meant anything, but it sounds like this relationship needs to be let go before the blame game and bitter vindictiveness of who can hurt who more comes out to play.

VanillaCreme said:

If she's with a dude, why's she worried about other guys not talking to her?

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She was single a short time ago. She has an on off thing going on

Peaches said:

Don't know about today's mores, but I lived in england between the age of 21 and 23, at my prettiest, and no one ever made a pass at me or even looked at me. With today's wisdom, i was really shy and naive and probably just didn tnotice, what I am trying to add is that british guys are really shy too and hardly ever make a first move.

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I have always lived in the UK and I was pretty in my teens and twenties, yet very few men approached me. A couple did (both had serious issues, drugs etc), and we went out for a short time, but even at that stage in my life I found it pretty much impossible to meet someone I clicked with and who valued me very much.

There are a lot of nice guys who don't go up to girls believing they will strike out, so the avoid the situation to avoid being embarrased, though the bad boy type of guys have no issues about doing it, why most wind up dating the girl and you hear them later how much a jerk the guy is.

I don't believe a word she says to be honest. She's on my facebook so I know what she looks like when she goes out. Loads of makeup and flesh on display. Legs up to her chin.
She will be a bloke magnet. I'm off to the works Christmas meal so it will be the first time I have ever socialized with her. I bet she gets interest, lots of it.
People say all kinds of honeysuckle just to get attention or sympathy.