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Triple Bogey

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I'm talking about looks.
What can you do to make yourself more attractive ?
What can you do if you look terrible ?

Grooming ? I do that anyway.

Nice clothes ? Maybe but it doesn't improve what your face looks like.

Personality ? Of course having a happy, bubbly personality helps but I think that gets you friends rather than girlfriends. And I have a upbeat personality anyway. I know plenty of miserable people. I am nothing like them.

And before people say nobody is ugly. C'mon some people are. Nobody on here knows what I look like. I am too ugly to appear in a photograph. And while I get by in general life, there are plenty of things I can't do because of how I appear.
 
I've saw a photo you uploaded a few months back. Seems like you want some honesty and won't get offended so here goes

Close shave, then use moisturizer etc.

Practice raising your eyebrows a bit so it doesn't look like you're scowling (I do this inadvertently also)

Lose weight so you're within the healthy BMI range. Probably the most difficult but best thing you can do to drastically alter appearance.

Clothes that emphasis height and suit your skin tone. Don't try to look 22, but don't do the old man thing either; and don't wear that old torn t-shirt in public.

All the best
 
Triple Bogey said:
Nobody on here knows what I look like.

I saw the photo you posted awhile back. Was that not you?
 
Haven't you gone on about this before, pretty sure you've made a few threads about looks.
 
Solivagant said:
Triple Bogey said:
Nobody on here knows what I look like.

I saw the photo you posted awhile back. Was that not you?

I didn't think anybody took any notice of it.
But it was me.


ardour said:
I've saw a photo you uploaded a few months back. Seems like you want some honesty and won't get offended so here goes

Close shave, then use moisturizer etc.

Practice raising your eyebrows a bit so it doesn't look like you're scowling (I do this inadvertently also)

Lose weight so you're within the healthy BMI range. Probably the most difficult but best thing you can do to drastically alter appearance.

Clothes that emphasis height and suit your skin tone. Don't try to look 22, but don't do the old man thing either; and don't wear that old torn t-shirt in public.

All the best

The eyebrows thing is interesting. That's my main problem, bloody frowning when I don't mean to.

I would never use moisturizer. My weight is fine. My clothes are okay. But thanks for your help.


Sci-Fi said:
Haven't you gone on about this before, pretty sure you've made a few threads about looks.

So what ?
 
It sounds like you're focusing too much on the negative aspects of your appearance, Bogey. Chances are you're being way more critical of yourself than how others see you.

When you posted that picture of yourself, if I remember correctly, quite a few of us left positive comments. But I get it, sometimes when you feel awful about yourself, its hard to remember the positive because the negative is just so overwhelming.

Still, I know too well how important it is to feel attractive. How good it makes you feel even if its superficial etc. I think looking good sure helps one get noticed, but people befriend you or want to be around you not just for your looks, but for the kind of person you are.

You may think that you're unattractive purely because of your physical appearance, but in actual fact it could be how you're coming across to others through your actions and words. A lot of the time, we don't realize how blunt/negative/pessimistic/bitter we can be so we carry on thinking that we're not being perceived as romantically attractive because of the way we look.

If attraction was purely based on looks only the supermodel types would be in relationships, and yet many people who are considered average or below average by social standards, can date etc.

Perhaps I've gone off tangent here, because you had asked specifically about how to appear more attractive. Sorry if I have...I guess I just wanted to relate my experience of always thinking that it was my looks that turned off men, only to find out that it was more my personality.

Anyway, as for looking better...here are some tips.

1. Own the bald look - you have to accept that you're balding, but the bald look is actually considered pretty sexy these days. I think if you owned it and appeared confident (even if it was fake confidence), people might react better. After all, if its not a problem to you, why should it be a problem to others right?

2. You could try contacts. Or glasses in a different style (I vaguely remember you wearing glasses)

3. Clothes actually help a lot. So I'd say go for it.

4. Braces if you think you need better teeth

5. You've got grooming down so that's a check

6. Get the eyebrows done. Not shaped like a woman's of course, but salons can trim it so it looks neat

7. Having a fit body can help

I guess these are some standard things. Not sure if they're helpful. But I hope you feel better about yourself and won't call yourself ugly anymore :(
 
Triple Bogey said:
I would never use moisturizer.

Why on earth would you never use moisturizer? Is there some kind of taboo against men using creams and lotions that I don't know about?

Lotion is lotion, regardless of what you call it. It's a good tool to use to keep your skin healthy and protect it from certain damages. You may want to consider changing your mind on that never, because it's an easy, simple, inexpensive way to help how you look or how you'll look a few years from now.
 
Seems like I remember you posting a photo awhile back. You looked like a regular guy to me, like most other guys out there. I used to wish I looked prettier but then realized when I'm about to give up the ghost, I'm probably not going to think "I wish I spent more time improving my looks".
Plus, there's that saying... "Beauty fades, dumb is forever."

But, having said that, I can see that your appearance is something that you worry about. I don't know where your insecurity comes from - I think ultimately only you know the answer to that.
Has anyone ever sincerely complimented how you look? "That's a nice shirt on you." "I like that hat." It's happened to me occasionally and then I think, hmm, maybe I do look nice with my hair that way or that color shirt and so I keep those looks. Maybe you could try that.

-Teresa
 
"Has anyone ever sincerely complimented how you look? "That's a nice shirt on you." "I like that hat." It's happened to me occasionally and then I think, hmm, maybe I do look nice with my hair that way or that color shirt and so I keep those looks. Maybe you could try that."

I'm the same way, Teresa. In fact, two women at work always tell me my shirts smell nice...thank you, Suavitel fabric softener...so I stick to using it :) But yeah, I usually wear colors I've been told look good on me or stay with the same style glass frames. Every little bit helps ;)
 
Veruca said:
You may think that you're unattractive purely because of your physical appearance, but in actual fact it could be how you're coming across to others through your actions and words. A lot of the time, we don't realize how blunt/negative/pessimistic/bitter we can be so we carry on thinking that we're not being perceived as romantically attractive because of the way we look.

What about the awful people who get relationships? I've seen people with the worst attitude being considered attractive by other fairly well adjusted people. It's a rule of thumb.

Veruca said:
If attraction was purely based on looks only the supermodel types would be in relationships, and yet many people who are considered average or below average by social standards, can date etc.

That's like saying people wouldn't drive a Fiat because Ferraris are better. People settle with what they can, doesn't mean they wouldn't wish for a better looking partner if they could get one.
 
Not everyone thinks Ferrari is better. Some would honestly prefer a Fiat. And I wouldn't consider that settling, especially if that's what one truly prefers.
 
I have to applaud you Bogey for making a thread like this because I realize it is a hard thing to talk about. I wish I had the courage to do something similar but it will be a cold day in hell before I do that in here because I'm sure some people will get a kick out of it and I am just not going to give them the chance.

TheRealCallie said:
Why on earth would you never use moisturizer? Is there some kind of taboo against men using creams and lotions that I don't know about?

Lotion is lotion, regardless of what you call it. It's a good tool to use to keep your skin healthy and protect it from certain damages. You may want to consider changing your mind on that never, because it's an easy, simple, inexpensive way to help how you look or how you'll look a few years from now.

You're right. Let's say if you have an outside job and your skin gets dry. A skin moisturizer used daily will help with that.


Veruca said:
When you posted that picture of yourself, if I remember correctly, quite a few of us left positive comments. But I get it, sometimes when you feel awful about yourself, its hard to remember the positive because the negative is just so overwhelming.

Good post except for this part. There were not "quite a few of us" leaving positive comments when he posted his photo. He did not have it up for long. I happened to have been there when he made his post (look on page 923 of that thread) and I made a comment. Peaches made a comment that she missed it. That's it
 
VanillaCreme said:
Not everyone thinks Ferrari is better. Some would honestly prefer a Fiat. And I wouldn't consider that settling, especially if that's what one truly prefers.

You'll never seen a millionaire drive a fiat 600, because they are beyond covering basic necessities. The same way a supermodel wouldn't date an ugly and broke person because they can attract a bigger variety of people. The more possibilities you got, more chances are you would want to pick the best one. People adapt their preferences to their possibilities, it's the only way to cope with expectation.


BeyondShy said:
I have to applaud you Bogey for making a thread like this because I realize it is a hard thing to talk about. I wish I had the courage to do something similar but it will be a cold day in hell before I do that in here because I'm sure some people will get a kick out of it and I am just not going to give them the chance.

You would yell at me for posting something like this -_-
 
I don't like Ferraris. Having an ostentatious car is not important to everyone.
 
Xpendable said:
You'll never seen a millionaire drive a fiat 600, because they are beyond covering basic necessities. The same way a supermodel wouldn't date an ugly and broke person because they can attract a bigger variety of people. The more possibilities you got, more chances are you would want to pick the best one. People adapt their preferences to their possibilities, it's the only way to cope with expectation.

I think you overemphasize appearance. Physical attraction is important in that it's necessary in most cases, but, assuming it's there, people are likely to look for other indicators of compatibility rather than obsessing over having the 'best looking' partner they can find.

The problem arises when you're not considered attractive by anyone, or by very few, and have other impediments like crippling anxiety.
 
beautiful loser said:
"Has anyone ever sincerely complimented how you look? "That's a nice shirt on you." "I like that hat." It's happened to me occasionally and then I think, hmm, maybe I do look nice with my hair that way or that color shirt and so I keep those looks. Maybe you could try that."

I'm the same way, Teresa. In fact, two women at work always tell me my shirts smell nice...thank you, Suavitel fabric softener...so I stick to using it :) But yeah, I usually wear colors I've been told look good on me or stay with the same style glass frames. Every little bit helps ;)

Oh, Suavitel, I like the smell of that too. Maybe we should send TripleBogey a case of it? :)

-Teresa
 
SofiasMami said:
beautiful loser said:
"Has anyone ever sincerely complimented how you look? "That's a nice shirt on you." "I like that hat." It's happened to me occasionally and then I think, hmm, maybe I do look nice with my hair that way or that color shirt and so I keep those looks. Maybe you could try that."

I'm the same way, Teresa. In fact, two women at work always tell me my shirts smell nice...thank you, Suavitel fabric softener...so I stick to using it :) But yeah, I usually wear colors I've been told look good on me or stay with the same style glass frames. Every little bit helps ;)

Oh, Suavitel, I like the smell of that too. Maybe we should send TripleBogey a case of it? :)

-Teresa

LOL Definitely, I'll split the cost with ya ;) Oh yeah, has to be the rose scented in the red bottle. The women would go crazy sniffing his shirt all day long...been there, done that :)
 
Xpendable said:
Veruca said:
You may think that you're unattractive purely because of your physical appearance, but in actual fact it could be how you're coming across to others through your actions and words. A lot of the time, we don't realize how blunt/negative/pessimistic/bitter we can be so we carry on thinking that we're not being perceived as romantically attractive because of the way we look.

What about the awful people who get relationships? I've seen people with the worst attitude being considered attractive by other fairly well adjusted people. It's a rule of thumb.

Veruca said:
If attraction was purely based on looks only the supermodel types would be in relationships, and yet many people who are considered average or below average by social standards, can date etc.

That's like saying people wouldn't drive a Fiat because Ferraris are better. People settle with what they can, doesn't mean they wouldn't wish for a better looking partner if they could get one.

You're definitely entitled to your opinions Xpendable and eventhough I disagree, ultimately whatever helps Bogey goes :)

BeyondShy said:
Good post except for this part. There were not "quite a few of us" leaving positive comments when he posted his photo. He did not have it up for long. I happened to have been there when he made his post (look on page 923 of that thread) and I made a comment. Peaches made a comment that she missed it. That's it

I was actually referring to an earlier post Beyondshy. It was quite some time back and I remember leaving a comment. Not the page 923 one =)
 
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