how do you find love online?

How do you find online?

Im a member of a few sites and yet it seems impossible to find a connection.

I find it hard to single out a woman i would be genuinely interested in. There[s soo many, it just seems like a sea of faces.

So i lose motivation to write any first messages. Plus when i finally do try message a girl, i strike out. i would say it was because of the content of the message, but everyone seems to be the same when they message if i base on what they send me. i.e. how are you etc..... so it seems to either work or it doesnt...im guessing its based on looks.

But thats another thing every message i send out, goes ignored and every message i get is from someone i dont feel any passion for.

Plus i start off locally but choice is limited, so end up going further afield, but i know when i do that, im basically signing up to long distance, and thats the last thing i want at my stage of life.

so it just seems impossible

so how do you actually use online dating properly????

hitch1983 said:

How do you find online?

Im a member of a few sites and yet it seems impossible to find a connection.

I find it hard to single out a woman i would be genuinely interested in. There[s soo many, it just seems like a sea of faces.

So i lose motivation to write any first messages. Plus when i finally do try message a girl, i strike out. i would say it was because of the content of the message, but everyone seems to be the same when they message if i base on what they send me. i.e. how are you etc..... so it seems to either work or it doesnt...im guessing its based on looks.

But thats another thing every message i send out, goes ignored and every message i get is from someone i dont feel any passion for.

Plus i start off locally but choice is limited, so end up going further afield, but i know when i do that, im basically signing up to long distance, and thats the last thing i want at my stage of life.

so it just seems impossible

so how do you actually use online dating properly????

Click to expand...

Unless you are attractive or rich you will find it very difficult.
Long distance, you may have more luck but do you really need all the hassle ?

I suggest forget all about online and try to meet a woman the old fashioned way. eg pubs, night clubs, clubs, meetups etc.

Online dating in hard for both sexes, good luck. If i was you I'd avoid free sites and maybe think about paying because people who pay are more serious about finding a relationship and the sites generate a better compatibility thingamajing than free sites so you're more likely to find better matches. I've never been on a paid site but have heard from people who did that it was a better experience.


For me, online dating is too overwhelming. I'd get like 100 messages a day, who has time to sift through all that? First you're sifting through the perverts, and there's lots of them. Then since I had to narrow down more so I'd ignore any boring "how are you" message and only reply to well thought out messages from guys who read my profile and striked up similar interests from there. I found men too aggressive on dating sites too, I wanted to talk for a while before meeting and every single one would get frustrated that I wasn't handing my number over all willy nilly. In the end it never panned out to be a good experience.

My suggestions for you though.... Read her profile, send a good message . Don't get hung up on one girl answering. Send messages to multiple women, one will eventually respond, don't push to meet and go at her speed.

Triple Bogey said:

Unless you are attractive or rich you will find it very difficult.

Click to expand...

I have to disagree with this. Online is likely more forgiving because you can meet people without it being based on looks and the person can get to know you. Granted, I'm not talking about dating sites where emphasis is on profiles and usually lies and looks, but more just finding people on the internet, like here, for instance. You get to know a person before you find out what they look like, which would give you a better chance if you think your looks are the problem.

As for dating sites, just be honest about yourself. Find a way to connect to the girl based on what her profile says. Find something in common and send a sincere, non creepy message.

At least you get replies OP.

I am on a dating site right now and I followed so many peoples/websites advice and hints, but I still don't get no replies to my messages. I will give this more time but all the while my hopes for finding love evaporate by the day.

Triple Bogey said:

Unless you are attractive or rich you will find it very difficult.
Long distance, you may have more luck but do you really need all the hassle ?

I suggest forget all about online and try to meet a woman the old fashioned way. eg pubs, night clubs, clubs, meetups etc.

Click to expand...

I'm not attractive. Don't have money. Would probably never go to bars, clubs, or pubs. And I met my guy online. Reeled him in with bacon mashed potatoes.

That's how you get true love. Bacon mashed potatoes.

VanillaCreme said:

Triple Bogey said:

Unless you are attractive or rich you will find it very difficult.
Long distance, you may have more luck but do you really need all the hassle ?

I suggest forget all about online and try to meet a woman the old fashioned way. eg pubs, night clubs, clubs, meetups etc.

Click to expand...

I'm not attractive. Don't have money. Would probably never go to bars, clubs, or pubs. And I met my guy online. Reeled him in with bacon mashed potatoes.

That's how you get true love. Bacon mashed potatoes.

Click to expand...

He's talking about guys.

Xpendable said:

VanillaCreme said:

Triple Bogey said:

Unless you are attractive or rich you will find it very difficult.
Long distance, you may have more luck but do you really need all the hassle ?

I suggest forget all about online and try to meet a woman the old fashioned way. eg pubs, night clubs, clubs, meetups etc.

Click to expand...

I'm not attractive. Don't have money. Would probably never go to bars, clubs, or pubs. And I met my guy online. Reeled him in with bacon mashed potatoes.

That's how you get true love. Bacon mashed potatoes.

Click to expand...

He's talking about guys.

Click to expand...

Um, what? Who is talking about guys? Not the OP....

Nilla is, sure, but she's sharing how she snagged a significant other online. Same concept here....

TheRealCallie said:

Xpendable said:

VanillaCreme said:

Triple Bogey said:

Unless you are attractive or rich you will find it very difficult.
Long distance, you may have more luck but do you really need all the hassle ?

I suggest forget all about online and try to meet a woman the old fashioned way. eg pubs, night clubs, clubs, meetups etc.

Click to expand...

I'm not attractive. Don't have money. Would probably never go to bars, clubs, or pubs. And I met my guy online. Reeled him in with bacon mashed potatoes.

That's how you get true love. Bacon mashed potatoes.

Click to expand...

He's talking about guys.

Click to expand...

Um, what? Who is talking about guys? Not the OP....

Nilla is, sure, but she's sharing how she snagged a significant other online. Same concept here....

Click to expand...

Online dating isn't the same for men and women.

You have to have a very thick skin to date online. Like elephant-thick skin. That goes for men and women.

Don't send any messages to women that just say "hey sexxy". That's not cool. If you find someone and you start texting or messaging each other, don't send pictures of your junk. Also not cool.

I'm not in the dating world now but when I was, I preferred to meet someone early on. It's easier that way to tell how sincere they are and when I was dating, I was looking for a boyfriend, not a texting buddy.

When you meet someone, keep it easy and low-pressure. You don't need to decide right then and there on the first date whether you're going to get married and have babies with this person. Keep calm and just let things develop naturally. Maybe have low expectations. I'm not saying kill your dreams, just that you'll probably be happier without pie-in-the-sky expectations about every woman you meet.

I don't know if there is any difference between paid vs. free sites. Two guys I met on e harmony, (which is a paid site that advertises itself as being for people who are looking for long term relationships) turned out to be married. Buyer beware.

-Teresa

SofiasMami said:

You have to have a very thick skin to date online. Like elephant-thick skin. That goes for men and women.

Click to expand...

That leaves me out! Thanks for playing, goodbye! :shy:

VanillaCreme said:

Triple Bogey said:

Unless you are attractive or rich you will find it very difficult.
Long distance, you may have more luck but do you really need all the hassle ?

I suggest forget all about online and try to meet a woman the old fashioned way. eg pubs, night clubs, clubs, meetups etc.

Click to expand...

I'm not attractive. Don't have money. Would probably never go to bars, clubs, or pubs. And I met my guy online. Reeled him in with bacon mashed potatoes.

That's how you get true love. Bacon mashed potatoes.

Click to expand...

VC I love you.....can I get Bacon mashed potatoes?????? Oh Cavey might want some too

Online dating can be a good way to meet someone. HOWEVER, be prepared for a lot of disappointment and bad apples before you meet someone who sticks.

BeyondShy said:

SofiasMami said:

You have to have a very thick skin to date online. Like elephant-thick skin. That goes for men and women.

Click to expand...

That leaves me out! Thanks for playing, goodbye! :shy:

Click to expand...

Maybe that's why I dropped out of the online dating scene...

---

EveWasFramed said:

Online dating can be a good way to meet someone. HOWEVER, be prepared for a lot of disappointment and bad apples before you meet someone who sticks.

Click to expand...

I've heard others say the same, Eve.

(Also, anyone who makes bacon mashed potatoes is automatically marriage material )

-Teresa

SofiasMami said:

Maybe that's why I dropped out of the online dating scene...

Click to expand...

I'm sure you did better than I did.

EveWasFramed said:

Online dating can be a good way to meet someone. HOWEVER, be prepared for a lot of disappointment and bad apples before you meet someone who sticks.

Click to expand...

I gave up and never met a good apple. The apple I met was so rotten and vile that it put me off from ever wanting another stupid apple again !

BeyondShy said:

SofiasMami said:

Maybe that's why I dropped out of the online dating scene...

Click to expand...

I'm sure you did better than I did.

Click to expand...

I don't know about that
One of the guys I met wanted to dress his 6 and 4 year old sons in my daughter's princess outfits, just to have them "explore their gender identity". That was awkward. :rolleyes2:

-Teresa

SofiasMami said:

I don't know about that
One of the guys I met wanted to dress his 6 and 4 year old sons in my daughter's princess outfits, just to have them "explore their gender identity". That was awkward. :rolleyes2:

-Teresa

Click to expand...

In that case you win hands down.

BeyondShy said:

SofiasMami said:

I don't know about that
One of the guys I met wanted to dress his 6 and 4 year old sons in my daughter's princess outfits, just to have them "explore their gender identity". That was awkward. :rolleyes2:

-Teresa

Click to expand...

In that case you win hands down.

Click to expand...

-Teresa

---

Maybe I should add another tip for the OP:
If you meet someone, wait a few months before making awkward requests

-Teresa

Xpendable said:

TheRealCallie said:

Xpendable said:

VanillaCreme said:

Triple Bogey said:

Unless you are attractive or rich you will find it very difficult.
Long distance, you may have more luck but do you really need all the hassle ?

I suggest forget all about online and try to meet a woman the old fashioned way. eg pubs, night clubs, clubs, meetups etc.

Click to expand...

I'm not attractive. Don't have money. Would probably never go to bars, clubs, or pubs. And I met my guy online. Reeled him in with bacon mashed potatoes.

That's how you get true love. Bacon mashed potatoes.

Click to expand...

He's talking about guys.

Click to expand...

Um, what? Who is talking about guys? Not the OP....

Nilla is, sure, but she's sharing how she snagged a significant other online. Same concept here....

Click to expand...

Online dating isn't the same for men and women.

Click to expand...

True