dn560
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2014
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im pretty much repeating my last post but with a lil twist...so gonna be 22 in a couple months havent done honeysuckle with my life. After my thyroid issues came bad anxiety to the p[oint it makes me sick and tired. I tried university and failed got kicked out, this past September started a new school but couldnt cope with the pace of work couldnt keep up, kept feeling sick and tired all the time, drs gave me meds to help but im scared to take it cuz i get addicted to stuff really quick and dont wanna end up a druggie. Ended up dropping out about 6weeks after. In that school i felt so depressed, i didnt make one single friend, i was all alone when i spoke to people they just walked away as if i was invisible. people laughed at me when i tried to fit in, and i couldnt even learn nothing because idk if maybe ive gotten dumber or something im just having trouble learning. idk if its maybe due to being depressed or the anxiety i have no idea. i given up on drs and cant afford therapy (hence the reason im here on this site) im pretty much just waiting to die. My parents pressure me, they insult me and tell me im 21 and got no job, they have to look after an adult, when i tried getting jobs i get rejected. i went for an interview just last week and the lady spoke to me like if i was a dumbass, she insulted me and shattered whatever little confidence i had left. i just feel like my life is wasting guys my age got girls, job and livng pretty decent lives, i just stay at home and argue with my parents about how terrible my life is. i cry on a daily basis hell im bald thin like a twig and well if i died tomorow i wont be remembered for anything special. i got zero talents, just basic high school education and thats pretty much it. i dont like anything, i have no interests in anything, im a boring person i look like a zombie cuz i cant sleep at night i walk like an ape cuz my chest hurts all the time and i look like im about to burst into tears. sometimes i think about suicide but just aint got the balls for it. guys in my family question my masculinity, they say im not man enough cuz i grew up soft play no sports and pretty much sit behind a pc all day. i just dont know what to do with life i dont wanna work tbh i just want to obtain my degree but financially i cant afford it. ive failed so much im scared to go back to school i feel like a retard im always spaced out and never really know whats going on around me. im tired of being home listening to my parent argue over little honeysuckle, my dad drinks alot, my mother argues for the littlest things and my sis is bipolar she argues for the entire village to hear and they pretty muc walk all over me. im not a handsome guy, im ugly stupid and just a waste of air, girls watch me like if im a piece of honeysuckle, whe ni try making friends im automatically the weirdo and well no one respects me not even my family. i wish i could just kill everyone or just crawl in a hole and hide forever or just die and not be heard of ever again. i hate my life and i hate everyone in it wish things could be better but ive tried and failed to the point i dont ******* care anymore what more can a dude possibly do how much more can a dude possibly take the rage and insanity is growin stronger in me and well what more could i say dont know where im going with this post but there it is....whoever gave a fresia to read this long ass sap story thank u feel free to give your honest opinion hate or whatever i'll take it.