What is a friend?

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miadora

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I just read a short story, don't remember it exactly, but it's something like this:

A & B are both girls, best friend. A just meets C, a guy and he seems to be very interested in her, which somehow annoys her. A tells B that, she and C just met and he acted like he knew her for a long time, like he was her best friend:

"One time he even texted me that he saw a really cool tree." A said
"That sound more like me, are you sure it wasn't me texting you?" B asked
"Absolutely it was from his number!" A answered and after thinking, she added "but it would make more sense if it were you."

And this makes me think. I don't have much friends, but I do have some people I call friends. I'm just wondering if they're really friends or just some-people-I-call-friends? Because I can't just talk to them about any silly thing. Like text them about a "cool tree", they will think WTH? It would be the same if I get that text from them. If you ask things like "will they be there when I need, will I be there when they need..." I could think of some names will come to my aid, and because they will come to my aid, I will come to theirs. But it's just my thought, it never really happens so I don't know for sure.

To me, just hang out sometimes, have a cup of coffee, and talk about works or boys isn't a friend yet.

What is a friend to you?
 
A friend to me is someone that is there for you no matter what. Someone that doesn't judge you, even if they don't agree with you. Someone you can be yourself with, even if that means randomly texting trees for whatever reason.
My friends might say WTF if I text them a tree, but only because I don't normally do that and they are likely wondering why I did it. But if I would do it a second time, chances are they wouldn't blink an eye.

And then, of course, there are acquaintances. They have a different "definition" to me.
 
That makes a lot of sense Callie. Friends are people that make time for you. :)

Which reminds me. Yesterday I saw this huge banyan tree and.... :)
 
This is one of the most difficult questions I have+will ever faced/face. I have spent days to conclude my answer and still working. But let me show you the jewel I discovered.

Friendship is simply love without any kind of biological sense to it. A very rare phenomenon. It was a great thing in the past, but some great things have totally faded. Its a very shocking that ugly things are stubborn, they don’t die easily; and beautiful things are very fragile, they die and disappear very easily.

Today friendship is often taken either in biological or in economic terms, or in sociological terms – in terms of acquaintance, a kind of acquaintance. But friendship means that if the need arises you will be ready even to sacrifice yourself. Friendship means that you have made somebody else more important than yourself; somebody else has become more precious than you.

WELL, I discovered something bigger than friendship. I call it friendliness. Friendships can be broken, and often, very easily. A friend can turn into an enemy, often, very easily.
You might ask, "What is the difference between friendship and friendliness?"

One of the greatest philosophers has said it, "Friendliness is the purest thing you can conceive about love. It is so pure that you cannot even call it a flower, you can only call it a fragrance which you can feel and experience, but you cannot catch hold of. It is there, your nostrils are full of it, your being is surrounded by it. You feel the vibe, but there is no way to catch hold of it; the experience is so big and so vast and our hands are too small."

Friendliness is just the way of your being real and authentic; You start radiating it . It comes on its own accord, you cannot bring it. Anyone who comes closer to you, will feel the friendliness.

Thus, for me, FRIENDSHIP is just an illusion. Where someone is in the illusion that another person will be for them, whenever they are in need. But that turns out to be false, since, the other person is also in the same illusion. This goes on and on. A kind of illusion, which is nothing more than a form of business, without having you, realize that it is a business.
With friendships, comes desire. With friendliness, you become free from desires.
 
Difficult question as there is a continuum between acquaintances and friends.

But I would say that a friend is...

1. someone you want to spend you free time with, who also wants to spend their free time with you. (You'd rather meet up with them than say watch a decent tv-series)
2. someone you respect and who respects you back. (might challenge you, but not bully you. you don't take them for granted)
3. someone who will put in an extra effort when you're in need of help or assistance, and you would do the same back. (You'd walk their dog on a cold rainy day if they were sick, etc)

Mutuality is the recurring thing here, really.
 

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