Comparing Yourself to Others

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Serenia

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I am going on my works department Christmas Party on Saturday night. It looks to be a great night. My work colleagues are fantastic, the place we are having the meal sounds amazing and the food, also the city we are out in afterwards sounds as good fun as anywhere.

Anyway my department is made up of all women. I am in the upper age range of the staff most are younger.

This sounds so stupid and petty, but most of these women are gorgeous and have great figures.
I have got an outfit, that is flattering and classy, but I just feel frumpy next to them. They are all lovely and say I look nice and compliment me when we have been out before.

Just having a whinge, I will forget it once I am there and having fun. I just wish I wouldn't compare myself.
 
I can relate about comparing myself to people. Do it all the time worst thing you can do.

Just have a good time :D
 
Being insecure myself I can fully relate to this and honestly I do it. My mind always goes there. Someone prettier, together and now given my age younger.

Media drills into our head constantly what is perfection. If you don't look like a Victoria Secret model you are doomed.

This pisses me off now, cause I do not see others in that way. Yet, when it comes to myself I do. Honestly I like imperfections, whatever they are. I believe a person is the some of all their parts. Weathered, rough, fat, thin, the list is endless. They are all perfection in my eyes.

Yet when I look in the mirror I only see the imperfections on me. I dwell on them to the point that I cry or get depressed. I am in great shape and do not look my age. I should be happy but all I see is what I could be. It is like being on a hamster wheel.

I am trying to school myself into another train of thought. Become accepting of myself. Not easy but I am trying. I should see myself, as I see others.

My advice Serenia be yourself, rock that outfit and have a good time. Besides just cause the package is put together, does not mean they are any happier, your co workers. What is perfection, tell yourself you are and believe it. Have a super great time for all us women.. Bright Blessings.. ^.^
 
I do that all the time, thank god I work with mostly men lol most of my comparing myself comes from the interwebs but if I did work with all women I'd do it there too. I think most women compare themselves, I've always wondered if guys do that, like if they look at a picture of a perfect guy and wished they had a body like him.
 
Serenia said:
This sounds so stupid and petty, but most of these women are gorgeous and have great figures.
I have got an outfit, that is flattering and classy, but I just feel frumpy next to them. They are all lovely and say I look nice and compliment me when we have been out before.

Just having a whinge, I will forget it once I am there and having fun. I just wish I wouldn't compare myself.


It's so difficult when you begin to compare yourself to others because you can always find something to criticize about yourself. Even if you can find fifty people to tell you there is nothing wrong with you you will still believe there is.

Well, I am one of the people who will say there is nothing wrong with you and I don't care what you look like.

Listen to me Serenia. I'm a fraud. I can give out this advice because I know it's true but I still can't believe it when it has to do with myself.

You have a good time at that party. Save a smile for me.
 
I used to do this a lot. I still do it to this day. But much less.

But then I start to think that yes, they are people better than me but they are also a lot of them worst than me. And I will star to think of the nice things I have or posses and I become happy again.
 
Serenia ,if you don't mind me asking, is there anything in particular that makes you feel frumpy? Maybe it's something that can be changed?
 
Serenia,

I totally understand where you are coming from. I always compare myself to others, wishing I looked like them etc.... I also work with all women, and I know how that can be....

But, I am sure you are beautiful, and I can bet you are going to look great in your outfit, and have a good time. Be yourself, enjoy and if you start to compare, just push it out of your mind.

I hope you have a great time!
 
Serenia said:
I am going on my works department Christmas Party on Saturday night. It looks to be a great night. My work colleagues are fantastic, the place we are having the meal sounds amazing and the food, also the city we are out in afterwards sounds as good fun as anywhere.

Anyway my department is made up of all women. I am in the upper age range of the staff most are younger.

This sounds so stupid and petty, but most of these women are gorgeous and have great figures.
I have got an outfit, that is flattering and classy, but I just feel frumpy next to them. They are all lovely and say I look nice and compliment me when we have been out before.

Just having a whinge, I will forget it once I am there and having fun. I just wish I wouldn't compare myself.

I'm sure you look fine :)
One thing I've always said is that the main reason people may not like their physical or mental attributes is simply because they are seeing it from their own perspective. You see the flaws in yourself because you look at yourself and live in your own body constantly, and sometimes we don't realize that other people have their own differences. Someone may hate their nose and think that it is a bad shape, and another person could think it is a cute nose. Many people hate their freckles while a ton of people find freckles adorable. I guess the idea of flaws and what is perceived as "ugly" or "different" is something based on perspective rather than general fact.
 
I don't really have much advice I'm afraid. I suffer from this, having quite a negative self image and all the fun which that entails.

All I can really offer is empathy. There's plenty of people who feel the same way. Heck, I bet most of your colleagues are in the same boat you are. Just focus on having fun. Enjoy yourself, that's why you're going to the party after all. Take your mind off it somehow, ranting on forums is always a good way to do that I find, heh.

Have a great time.
 
Thank you everyone for your lovely and encouraging replies :).

I feel frumpy because some of the girls could easily be models. But you know they are genuinely nice and fun. It was just a bit disheartening trying dresses on, and then seeing what they have got.

Anyway I will get over it as soon as I am chatting away with them all.

I will let you know how it goes :).
 
Indeed, do so, you have me and I'm sure the others in this thread intrigued.

Yeah, heh, just go have fun and enjoy yourself. Wishing you the best.
 
I have to say, I felt really pretty going out, I had my hair done, my make up went right, nails pretty, I loved my dress and sandals (which turned out to be pure evil torture sandals).

Then I got to the place and all the girls where gorgeous, honestly some of them could be models. Blokes at other tables just couldnt stop looking at them. I am proud of the girls, they are such lovely women and we had a brilliant meal, and I felt comfortable. Then we went to some bars, first one, the music was brilliant and it had a good atmosphere, we should have stayed their more. But then we went to this other bar and some of the people in there where just vile. I left feeling pretty crap about myself.

Ah well. Not feeling particularly good about myself at the minute, but I will be ok.
 
Serenia said:
I have to say, I felt really pretty going out, I had my hair done, my make up went right, nails pretty, I loved my dress and sandals (which turned out to be pure evil torture sandals).

Then I got to the place and all the girls where gorgeous, honestly some of them could be models. Blokes at other tables just couldnt stop looking at them. I am proud of the girls, they are such lovely women and we had a brilliant meal, and I felt comfortable. Then we went to some bars, first one, the music was brilliant and it had a good atmosphere, we should have stayed their more.

I'm glad you had a nice time. You deserve it. And I am sure you got some looks wether you knew it or not



Serenia said:
But then we went to this other bar and some of the people in there where just vile. I left feeling pretty crap about myself.

Ah well. Not feeling particularly good about myself at the minute, but I will be ok.

Now don't let what other people did or possibly said ruin your pleasant evening. If those people weren't nice that is their problem and not yours.
 
I don't understand what these people gain by spouting their poisonous drivel. When did it become acceptable for someone to approach a total stranger and just come out with whatever they're thinking... and in the most offensive way possible?

You've got many great qualities, so don't let this odious little creep deter you from enjoying time with your friends.
 
Did these people actually say nasty things to you? That sucks. I've had two girls who I wasn't even talking to or looking at, go out of their way to make it obvious they were turning their noses up at me. Funny thing is, I wasn't attracted to them at all.
 
Ugh, there's nothing worse than self entitled prats. Honestly. Well, glad you had a good time for most of it. I would try not to let them ruin your memory of the night.
 
I'm glad the women were nice. I think we all tend to compare ourselves to each other but are usually friendly with each other as we get older. As teenagers, some people don't know how to deal with that insecurity but to bash and be catty about others. I'm sorry about the bar. As for the men, I've had moments when I'm with a group of women and they are completely ignoring me because they are obviously interested in someone else in the group. I just remember it shouldn't matter to me -- it's not like I find them attractive and even if I did, their impoliteness finishes off whatever goodwill or curiosity I have towards them.
 

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