Joining Things

I often hear to just go "join things" as a common mantra. But, in my experience, if I joined things just to join them as a vehicle to find new friends, etc that it really never seemed to work out that way. I have joined things like bowling clubs and booster clubs and so forth. Over time, i realized that what i truly needed to do was focus on what i am passionate about. And, i realized that I really like coaching kids, so now my husband and I are youth sport coaches and we have a great time. But, we have a great time because we are both passionate about teaching the sport. I think that to join things, you need to be a bit choosy and truly find things that you really care about. Otherwise, I have found that i was simply just a tool to be used by other people to accomplish something rather than being part of something. I will no longer be used by people. I pursue what I WANT to purse now.

I agree with you. It's great that you and your husband have found a social activity which you both enjoy.

Good for you. Yeah you should only join things you enjoy or want to try out, otherwise you'll just end up being miserable doing something you don't care about.

I don't think when people say that perhaps 'joining things' could open up new doors, that it necessarily means they or anyone else want to or will take advantage of you or use you. It can be very interesting to try out new things just for the sake of trying them out, even if you're not necessarily passionate about them immediately, if ever you are. And perhaps if you don't know what you're passionate about, it can help you discover what you like and dislike and what you'd like to pursue as well. 'Joining things' doesn't have to be all about other people, it can be a part of self-exploration. If you happen to make friends along the way, that's a bonus. I do agree with you that if you do find something you're passionate about you should try to pursue it and not restrict yourself.

I keep trying to find new courses to go to, trouble is there's not much about at the moment that interests me.

I did learn that i am a lousy bowler. lol

I guess it's comparable to pursuing any other relationship, one has to find the right thing for oneself to join. I volunteered at the library for 2 or so years and liked the work but the other volunteers were utterly, totally bitchy to me. It was like a girls clique at school and no boys allowed. They were really hostile.

So I left and volunteered somewhere else....much better.

Ugh, hostile people. That's no fun. I can relate. DH and I would be much more active in the local boosters, but the lady in charge is simply a beitch. We can't stand her so we take a wide path around her and limit our exposure.

Honestly, i think that life is about doing things with passion. Find things you are passionate about, whether other people are or not. I take great pleasure in cooking and really trying to challenge myself. I like to see how creative i can be or well i can do it. And, as a result, i chat it up with other home cooks. But, i think find the things you are passionate about and then go in that direction. However, i agree that is good to try to mix it up too and maybe try something you have never done as well because you never know.

A problem for me is that it's often hard to find people who want to pursue the same things that I do.