When upset. Women do social engineering. Men want to be pitied

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Oldyoung

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Disclaimer. I'm not saying this is true. Just wanted to discuss if others think this is a recurring thing. And I'm exaggerating to make a point, not intending to generalize.

When a woman complains about something, she'll say stuff like:
This coworker is so annoying. Everyone is so unprofessional. Why do I always meet douches. They just can't get anything right. They treat me unfairly. No one approaches me. Julia talks so **** much.
(Tries to win support for her view and undermine support for her opponents)

man complains:
They all hate me. I'm hopeless. We went on a date she wasn't interested in me. There's no one there for me. I'm all alone. I'm worthless. Everyone talks over my head.
(Tries to gain pity and support that way)

Discuss! (Civilly, and stay on topic)
 
Honestly, whether you intend to generalize or not, that's what you are doing here.

However, tbh, I think you have it backwards on the gender roles there. That said, though, I think it depends on the PERSON, not what genitalia they have.
 
It sounds like both just try to gain support by either baselessly undermining other people's skills and abilities or...baselessly undermining other people's empathy. Something like that, at least in the examples you gave there. The consequence seems the same to me: "People are stupid and/or don't understand me." Gee, a classic recording. Anyways, the former one is more active/direct and the latter one is more passive and self-destructive.

Yeah...and I've seen these behaviors with the genders switched as well. No use in generalizing really. If you want support that bad with these methods, you gotta watch what your peers respond better to and act accordingly.

...civil enough?
 
To be honest you didn't need to assign either a gender, those statements are pretty much the same and I've heard plenty of men complain more than women. Sadly after friending a childhood friend I see it on a regular daily basis, sometimes I just want to ask him "what happened, did your balls drop off" but that would be very PC to do. I'm tempted to unfriend him or block his feed. But both are just as equally as bad when it comes to complaining, it's the person not their sex.
 
I think there are some good points there. I dont' have a problem with generalizing. Nobody is saying "ALL, ALL THE TIME". So, i think we can discuss in general. I agree with the point about women . However, i don't find that men gererally internalize that things to blame themselves. I find that men tend to blame more outwardly. Just my opinion. Like if she wasn't interested, it would be more along the lines of "she's a stuck up beyotch" or something, lol.
 
I think you've pegged two personality types, not two genders. I've observed both behaviors from both sexes... but being female I'd defiently be in the category of blaming other mother *******. That honeysuckle ain't me, it's them. I'm awesome haha
 
Probably differences in self-esteem due the the differing messages men and women receive from society. One feels indignant; the other, self-pity, but both are manipulative.
 
I need to listen to people complain more often so as to be able to judge the validity of your hypothesis. But that doesn't sound like a particularly productive or entertaining pastime, so I'll let someone else research it. I do agree with everyone else that these behaviours are more likely subjective to individuals than gender specific. However, men do appear to internalize things more frequently and beat themselves up over it more so than women, at least from what I've observed.
 
Male disposability is practically law in this society, for the 80-90% of males who aren't part of the higher social orders. Men feel and act pathetic usually because their lives are pathetic, and there is literally no recourse to defend oneself - moreso for the lower social orders.

For women, if they are of lower rank, there is at least some man who will take advantage of her, and that grants some status - or at least the illusion of status. The lowest of the low basically don't participate in society, while the lowest males are more likely to act out, resort to violent crime, and at the very least beg for a living. You don't see many female panhandlers, though they do exist.
 

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