Do you ever just break down?

I had one this past week. I turned off my phone and ended up sleeping most of my time. Today, I finally emerged and tried to do something nice for my family but it was unappreciated.

When I get near to the point of deep depression, I reach out but am told I am tiresome, too closed, or refused. So then, I withdraw, and a downward spiral happens.

I have to work to do little things to make me happy (like buying myself flowers). At that point, sometimes, people get worried about me because of my silence, but by then it's too late. It feels like an intrusion and sometimes it feels like they noticed because they wanted something from me and I wasn't there to answer them.

I was rebuffed because I was "sad" often, so I don't even feel like I can be genuine about it. If I try to keep conversations on light topics, the conversation is meaningless, etc. If I am in a happy place, I often don't want to let in the people who I couldn't count on when I was at my worst.

Does it ever get easier? Does this happen to "normal" people?

Depends on your definition of "normal", I don't think anyone is "normal". We're all a little off.

I get what you are talking about, been there plenty of times too. It does get easier. I find life situations are a big contributor. Since starting my new job in the spring and leaving negative influences behind I've been much happier and don't get depressed as much. Some things still get me down now and then but it isn't as bad as it used to get.

Title reminds me of this song. Though i'm not sure it would apply to you much. I still like it.

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