The horrors of online dating

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I'd like to think that these are just the worst examples of online dating, but then I remembered my own online dating history, haha. :S
 
lifestream said:
I'd like to think that these are just the worst examples of online dating, but then I remembered my own online dating history, haha. :S

Some women at work still tell me to join online dating sites.
They don't have a clue. Horrible places. I would rather be single all my life than suffer all that crap.
 
Ugh. Sometimes I think about trying online dating again but then I think no way.

Nice timing on this thread as I've heard that the period right after the holidays going up to Valentine's Day is the busiest for online dating sites. So there will be lots of ads on TV and the web in the coming weeks to sign up for a site.

I've heard a lot of sites send out fake messages to members to entice them to stay on the site or to "upgrade" their membership. "Pay more and you can view this (fake) message from a handsome man or beautiful woman."

It's tempting to join again until I remember the guy who had a fake picture on his profile, the guys who turned out to be married, the guys who made it clear they were only interested in jumping into bed and the profile or two that featured the guy dressed in drag (for Halloween, maybe? But why the hell would you put that photo on your profile?)

So yeah - no online dating for me! :)

-Teresa
 
Well that was an interesting read indeed. I did notice one glaring item in the first article TB posted. The men were bringing up the fact the women were large and not in a nice way. It always seems to be a factor. Of course being deceiving is not a good trait anyways and not being honest. But must they be described as 'One woman who’d refused to send me a photo was so big she had double bingo wings. She wore Crocs shoes and tatty old leggings that showed every bulge and bump.'

Think the writer could have, not chosen to put in such descriptions. Anyways not to derail thread just sad all round.

Never used one, nor would I ever use such a thing. But that is my choice alone. Blessed be and may those who do find someone that way, get truth and happiness..


ps .. Please do not take my observation and turn the thread into something else. It was just my opinion and thoughts. Thanks ^.^
 
Who the hell brings their kids on a date!?!

Well this won't put me off much, am still going to keep trying on pof for now. I know it's all against me, but there's lots of real women in my city.
 
SofiasMami said:
Ugh. Sometimes I think about trying online dating again but then I think no way.

Nice timing on this thread as I've heard that the period right after the holidays going up to Valentine's Day is the busiest for online dating sites. So there will be lots of ads on TV and the web in the coming weeks to sign up for a site.

I've heard a lot of sites send out fake messages to members to entice them to stay on the site or to "upgrade" their membership. "Pay more and you can view this (fake) message from a handsome man or beautiful woman."

It's tempting to join again until I remember the guy who had a fake picture on his profile, the guys who turned out to be married, the guys who made it clear they were only interested in jumping into bed and the profile or two that featured the guy dressed in drag (for Halloween, maybe? But why the hell would you put that photo on your profile?)

So yeah - no online dating for me! :)

-Teresa

They send fake messages, winks and interest all the time.
I joined a few, left my profile blank, didn't put a photo on and got dozens of messages from all these women. The catch was I could only view the full messages if I paid my monthly fee. It's a con and that's why I hate them. Exploiting lonely people.


Arachne said:
Well that was an interesting read indeed. I did notice one glaring item in the first article TB posted. The men were bringing up the fact the women were large and not in a nice way. It always seems to be a factor. Of course being deceiving is not a good trait anyways and not being honest. But must they be described as 'One woman who’d refused to send me a photo was so big she had double bingo wings. She wore Crocs shoes and tatty old leggings that showed every bulge and bump.'

Think the writer could have, not chosen to put in such descriptions. Anyways not to derail thread just sad all round.

Never used one, nor would I ever use such a thing. But that is my choice alone. Blessed be and may those who do find someone that way, get truth and happiness..


ps .. Please do not take my observation and turn the thread into something else. It was just my opinion and thoughts. Thanks ^.^

I think it's an insight of how people really think. Those comments about large women were quite horrible.
 
Triple Bogey said:
SofiasMami said:
Ugh. Sometimes I think about trying online dating again but then I think no way.

Nice timing on this thread as I've heard that the period right after the holidays going up to Valentine's Day is the busiest for online dating sites. So there will be lots of ads on TV and the web in the coming weeks to sign up for a site.

I've heard a lot of sites send out fake messages to members to entice them to stay on the site or to "upgrade" their membership. "Pay more and you can view this (fake) message from a handsome man or beautiful woman."

It's tempting to join again until I remember the guy who had a fake picture on his profile, the guys who turned out to be married, the guys who made it clear they were only interested in jumping into bed and the profile or two that featured the guy dressed in drag (for Halloween, maybe? But why the hell would you put that photo on your profile?)

So yeah - no online dating for me! :)

-Teresa

They send fake messages, winks and interest all the time.
I joined a few, left my profile blank, didn't put a photo on and got dozens of messages from all these women. The catch was I could only view the full messages if I paid my monthly fee. It's a con and that's why I hate them. Exploiting lonely people.







Yes! I signed up to Zoosk dating site & only had my name, age, and location...no photo, no "about me", nothing. I didn't use it at all & for months got winks, messages, and requests to chat every day! Such a scam but pretty funny making me THINK that guys would want to chat when there's no picture w/ a completely blank profile.
 
I've been on 4 major dating sites. I've only got one message. WTF! :club:
Plenty of suggestions from the "love making algorithms" for users that no longer use the sites though.
 
I read the article, and while it definitely made me cringe, I just don't think reading these kinds of stories is helping us lonely people overcome our loneliness. This article pretty much cherry-picks some of the worst case scenarios, but doesn't offer any counterexamples of online dating success stories, which I'm sure there's lots of - otherwise the dating sites wouldn't be in business.

I'm sorry for your bad experiences TB, and to anyone else who has gone through some bad dates from online. But it's like posting an article about nasty car accidents on a website where people are trying to get the confidence to learn to drive - and nothing about all the millions of people on the road who safely arrive at their destination, and back home again. It's only telling one side of the story, the negative side, the fear based side, the side that will keep you in victim mode - and not about how well things could turn out. You just don't know for sure it will always go badly.
 
Id been an expired member of eHarmony for about a year (Id decided to take a break from dating) when I got a message from a gentleman. I couldnt respond because I wasn't a paid member (they will still allow others to send you messages and see your profile even if it's expired).
Because of some of the bad experiences I had on line, I didn't want this stranger to think he was being ignored. I know how awful that feels. So, I paid for another subscription, just to be able to let him know I wasn't looking any more.
Best money I ever spent. Nine months later and we're married and very happy together.
There ARE some decent people out there - they're just very difficult to find.
 
TheSkaFish said:
I read the article, and while it definitely made me cringe, I just don't think reading these kinds of stories is helping us lonely people overcome our loneliness. This article pretty much cherry-picks some of the worst case scenarios, but doesn't offer any counterexamples of online dating success stories, which I'm sure there's lots of - otherwise the dating sites wouldn't be in business.

I'm sorry for your bad experiences TB, and to anyone else who has gone through some bad dates from online. But it's like posting an article about nasty car accidents on a website where people are trying to get the confidence to learn to drive - and nothing about all the millions of people on the road who safely arrive at their destination, and back home again. It's only telling one side of the story, the negative side, the fear based side, the side that will keep you in victim mode - and not about how well things could turn out. You just don't know for sure it will always go badly.

I agree SkaFish.

As examples, "the bad" online dating experience I had... I chatted with a guy from an online dating site who thought I was a "catfish" because I didn't have a Facebook. He didn't believe anything I said or thought my pictures were fake because I didn't have a FB. I absolutely hate Facebook & the dramatics that go on & the TMI posts that are posted. I had to take a pic of myself with his name on a paper for him to believe me hah. That guy ended up being a drug dealer I had come to find out after chatting a few weeks. Others I had conversations with didn't want anything serious, just to get laid. Which is alright, if they didn't ask for ass & t*t pics...

"The good example": my second attempt at chatting on another dating site with someone ended up great. He looked exactly like his pictures & so did I. We have been together for 1 yr, except a breakup for a month or so, but we're determined to make it work....again.
I don't know if I'd do online dating again if this relationship doesn't work, but at my age, I want to get married and have a family of my own, so I can't cross online dating out. Especially since I don't like going to clubs, bars, etc to meet guys. I find that I meet the worst types when I'm out in public.
Just be very cautious with who you're meeting & their pictures. If the pics are grainy, like all the shots of Bigfoot, then ask for more recent pics.
Online dating is a gamble for sure because not everyone is honest, just like meeting someone in public....but there are successful stories as well.
 
EveWasFramed said:
Id been an expired member of eHarmony for about a year (Id decided to take a break from dating) when I got a message from a gentleman. I couldnt respond because I wasn't a paid member (they will still allow others to send you messages and see your profile even if it's expired).
Because of some of the bad experiences I had on line, I didn't want this stranger to think he was being ignored. I know how awful that feels. So, I paid for another subscription, just to be able to let him know I wasn't looking any more.
Best money I ever spent. Nine months later and we're married and very happy together.
There ARE some decent people out there - they're just very difficult to find.

What a nice story! Please tell Mr. EveWasFramed that he is a very lucky guy!

BreakingtheGirl said:
As examples, "the bad" online dating experience I had... I chatted with a guy from an online dating site who thought I was a "catfish" because I didn't have a Facebook. He didn't believe anything I said or thought my pictures were fake because I didn't have a FB. I absolutely hate Facebook & the dramatics that go on & the TMI posts that are posted. I had to take a pic of myself with his name on a paper for him to believe me hah. That guy ended up being a drug dealer I had come to find out after chatting a few weeks. Others I had conversations with didn't want anything serious, just to get laid. Which is alright, if they didn't ask for ass & t*t pics...

I don't have Facebook either and that was a strike against me when I was on OkCupid for a entire three weeks. That's as long as I lasted and I won't go back.

I didn't have Facebook so I was accused of being married and running around on my wife. At least that is what one person said to me. I replied to her that I needed to have a wife first in order to do this. Never got a response back.

I didn't have a photo also and I didn't get messages either. I'd rather meet someone in person but in my case where? I am not a social butterfly. I am not a social anything.
 
TheSkaFish said:
I read the article, and while it definitely made me cringe, I just don't think reading these kinds of stories is helping us lonely people overcome our loneliness. This article pretty much cherry-picks some of the worst case scenarios, but doesn't offer any counterexamples of online dating success stories, which I'm sure there's lots of - otherwise the dating sites wouldn't be in business.

I'm sorry for your bad experiences TB, and to anyone else who has gone through some bad dates from online. But it's like posting an article about nasty car accidents on a website where people are trying to get the confidence to learn to drive - and nothing about all the millions of people on the road who safely arrive at their destination, and back home again. It's only telling one side of the story, the negative side, the fear based side, the side that will keep you in victim mode - and not about how well things could turn out. You just don't know for sure it will always go badly.

I've hardly bothered with online dating. I got scammed by a so called Russian a few years ago, lost £1000 and never tried since then.


EveWasFramed said:
Id been an expired member of eHarmony for about a year (Id decided to take a break from dating) when I got a message from a gentleman. I couldnt respond because I wasn't a paid member (they will still allow others to send you messages and see your profile even if it's expired).
Because of some of the bad experiences I had on line, I didn't want this stranger to think he was being ignored. I know how awful that feels. So, I paid for another subscription, just to be able to let him know I wasn't looking any more.
Best money I ever spent. Nine months later and we're married and very happy together.
There ARE some decent people out there - they're just very difficult to find.

I think if you desperately want to meet somebody then they are cheaper and better ways to do it than online dating. Singles clubs are probably the best option.


BreakingtheGirl said:
TheSkaFish said:
I read the article, and while it definitely made me cringe, I just don't think reading these kinds of stories is helping us lonely people overcome our loneliness. This article pretty much cherry-picks some of the worst case scenarios, but doesn't offer any counterexamples of online dating success stories, which I'm sure there's lots of - otherwise the dating sites wouldn't be in business.

I'm sorry for your bad experiences TB, and to anyone else who has gone through some bad dates from online. But it's like posting an article about nasty car accidents on a website where people are trying to get the confidence to learn to drive - and nothing about all the millions of people on the road who safely arrive at their destination, and back home again. It's only telling one side of the story, the negative side, the fear based side, the side that will keep you in victim mode - and not about how well things could turn out. You just don't know for sure it will always go badly.

I agree SkaFish.

As examples, "the bad" online dating experience I had... I chatted with a guy from an online dating site who thought I was a "catfish" because I didn't have a Facebook. He didn't believe anything I said or thought my pictures were fake because I didn't have a FB. I absolutely hate Facebook & the dramatics that go on & the TMI posts that are posted. I had to take a pic of myself with his name on a paper for him to believe me hah. That guy ended up being a drug dealer I had come to find out after chatting a few weeks. Others I had conversations with didn't want anything serious, just to get laid. Which is alright, if they didn't ask for ass & t*t pics...

"The good example": my second attempt at chatting on another dating site with someone ended up great. He looked exactly like his pictures & so did I. We have been together for 1 yr, except a breakup for a month or so, but we're determined to make it work....again.
I don't know if I'd do online dating again if this relationship doesn't work, but at my age, I want to get married and have a family of my own, so I can't cross online dating out. Especially since I don't like going to clubs, bars, etc to meet guys. I find that I meet the worst types when I'm out in public.
Just be very cautious with who you're meeting & their pictures. If the pics are grainy, like all the shots of Bigfoot, then ask for more recent pics.
Online dating is a gamble for sure because not everyone is honest, just like meeting someone in public....but there are successful stories as well.

The photo is the most important part of online dating. And if you don't look great in photo's then forget it. If people want to argue with that they can, it won't change my mind.
 
EveWasFramed said:
Id been an expired member of eHarmony for about a year (Id decided to take a break from dating) when I got a message from a gentleman. I couldnt respond because I wasn't a paid member (they will still allow others to send you messages and see your profile even if it's expired).
Because of some of the bad experiences I had on line, I didn't want this stranger to think he was being ignored. I know how awful that feels. So, I paid for another subscription, just to be able to let him know I wasn't looking any more.
Best money I ever spent. Nine months later and we're married and very happy together.
There ARE some decent people out there - they're just very difficult to find.

How fantastic Eve. That is such a lovely thing to read. I wish you and your Husband all the best and a lifetime of happiness.
 
At least you got accepted by e-Harmony - I was rejected after applying.
They gotta ditch all the potential "losers" before they pollute their database, I guess.
 
ABrokenMan said:
At least you got accepted by e-Harmony - I was rejected after applying.
They gotta ditch all the potential "losers" before they pollute their database, I guess.

what reason did they give ?
 
ABrokenMan said:
At least you got accepted by e-Harmony - I was rejected after applying.
They gotta ditch all the potential "losers" before they pollute their database, I guess.

I have a coworker who's a good guy and also wasn't accepted to the site so don't feel bad. Two guys I met on the the same site turned out to be married. So there's that too.

-Teresa
 

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