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user 115627

It's all so tiresome.
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This is the first serious thread I ever created aside from diary entries, so pardon the potentially awkward tone inhabiting it. And it's gonna be a long one. So get some coffee, tea or cocaine to stay attentive.

I've been here for more than 1.5 years now and a lot of the regulars probably know me by sight and posts. Actually they are the ones this thread was initially directed at. But maybe I'm just giving myself way too much credit for leaving a proper impact on the public sphere. Narcissism much? I doubt I would realize it even if I tried. When I first joined this place I had left a forum for loners behind and was looking for a new place. I remember how I talked about trying to remain sane and keeping in touch with the world. So the plan was to be among people and occasionally put myself out there to reflect on whether I can still be considered reasonable. I'm just gonna say it outright: I think I failed.

I thought about deleting my account and looking for another forum till I realized there aren't exactly many places left to go. Looking through a couple of message boards I noticed they were either clinically dead or way too politically correct for me. That's something I always cherished this place for. While there are rules of conduct I could swear like a sailor if I wanted to and be myself out there with almost no fear of censorship. Even if this merely consisted of raging rants, absurdist humor, scary tales or messy artworks.

Before I bore everyone to death who bothered to read this I'll try to pick up the pace a little. Unlike others who came to place plagued by intense feelings of loneliness I was almost always comfortable being on my own. Yet I have parents who often treat me like a child or somebody who can't do anything on his own. But I have worked hard to get where I am now and I accomplished most of it on my own. I know I seek validation as any other person does, but mine is more focussed on my ability to analyze, deduce, create and entertain than on the recognition as someone worthy of being liked and loved - a theme I noticed around here very often. This dissonance is the very problem that leaves me with no other place go.

Based on this realization it's no surprise I have lost all friends I made around here. And lost means I cut them off knowing I couldn't fulfill the basic premises which are the foundation for a long-term friendship. Even if the other party thought otherwise. Later on you'll understand why I never was able to in the first place. You see, I have always considered many things in personal relationships to be jobs that need to be done. Especially when nobody else seems to be willing to do them. My dad holds family values very high and raised me accordingly. But the feeling of gratification for doing good things for the family or others seems to have eluded me all this time. I am bound by blood to my family and owe them my upbringing. That's a duty I will never abandon. What about the people I meet along the way of life though?

The simple act of caring about somebody and putting it into actions seems to be normal procedure to upkeep a relationship. Of course the other party has to act similarly, otherwise you end up with an unbalanced or even abusive one. Now when you only remove "caring" from the equation what does really sustain it? My answer was duty. More often than not I slip-n-slided into friendships (and also relationships). People value me for whatever of the following reasons: Levelheadedness, rationality, humor, honesty, reliability. You'd be surprised how often I questioned the how or why I ended up being somebody's friend. And once you're in it, it's **** hard to get out again without causing pain and suffering.

Throughout the times I noticed that a lot of these friends depended a whole lot more on me than I did on them. That's also the reason why I was in a couple of abusive interactions. When you're guided by duty and an analytic mind your purpose is to solve problems. Turns out solving people is not always that easy. Now nothing is more frustrating than being unable to solve a problem for me, but when you're not in it with your heart, it's easier to walk away. It becomes even easier when somebody attempts to blackmail you emotionally, but notices they have no leverage. But even if some of these people were bouncing back and forth in an emotional rubber room for a whole set of reasons, the important factor is that the majority usually cared - emotionally dependent or not.

I'd like to believe I have brought amusement, insight and support to all the people who were my friends at some point and I never asked for anything back. What little I asked for has been repaid at least twice or more. Because something I realized years ago is that no matter how long my life lasts, I want to stay out of debt. When I no longer have a sense of duty towards a person and when all debt has been repaid, there is nothing left to sustain a friendship. Now you say friendship is no business or a term to serve. It is for me. And I have witnessed enough uneven interactions to understand that an unequal distribution of "care" dooms a friend-/relationship to a slow and painful death. I'd rather just up and leave. Of course I could revel in my accomplishment of winning people over. But I am not a manipulator or a festering leech. Neither am I a hero or anybody's personal savior. I gain nothing from other people's unconditional care and neither do they. And I can't teach myself to care.

Full circle now. My lack of emotional attachment to people in general leaves me with the potential to commit evil, but also to do good. In both cases failures will leave you unharmed. While being bad has its advantages it usually clashes with my desire for the absense of conflict. And being good...I've been there too. I've talked to people who were directionless, suicidal or lonely and I gave support using the only useful tool I have: My brain. But in the long run that's the wrong set of tools. I had to face that often enough once things got a little too up close. When you open your eyes and notice what you do means nothing to you and you only do it because you have to - it's time to stop.

With this understanding the only solution is to actively deflect all friendly approaches - just business. A phrase you hear from me pretty often. My liking for everything twisted and disturbing has been nothing but helpful in this regard and I'm sure some of you out there consider me to be intimidating or scary. Others think I'm just somebody who's stuck in his edgy teenager phase...who knows. With regard to the prologue of this thread, now would be the time to say it to my face with little consequence. It's a bit of an experiment really. I have spent most of my life observing, but this time I wanted to leave the observing to others. And I wanted to leave room to express what they made of these observations.

Originally the thread posed a very simple question: "What am I?" Surely better than the "Do I seem insane to you?" poll I had in mind at the very beginning. Having burrowed your way through all these paragraphs and with my general conduct in mind, I'm sure you got enough material to answer this question. Simple statements or astute conclusions, it's free-for-all.

One last thing. Only very few individuals are excluded because I know how things would turn into a giant clusterfuck if they would get involved - so do they. And they know exactly who they are. This is a request, not a threat. I know some people can't even honor that when they are in full sermon mode. To all the others, fire away. I literally have nowhere to run.
 
We haven't spoken much, but I've never thought you insane, intimidating, or scary. I have respect for you and what you've expressed on the forum. And (I believe) having a mind not entirely dissimilar from your own, I understand this post.

Observations I will keep to myself, as I am wont to do. Observations don't necessarily have to lead to conclusions, and I prefer to keep mine open-ended to an extent. I just wanted to let you know I read this.
 
Give moar fucks. Or something like that. I dunno. You never seemed super dark or crazy to me.

Actually I think it's ok the way you feel about these things. There isn't really anything wrong with it.
 
You don't owe us anything. I personally find you funny, supportive and probably among the more reasonable.
 
You're articulate and thoughtful, far from intimidating or insane.
You're more open with your dark thoughts than most people I know but that's ok. We all have dark thoughts from time to time.
So stick around and stay the way you are, I like it.

-Teresa
 
Rodent said:
With this understanding the only solution is to actively deflect all friendly approaches - just business. A phrase you hear from me pretty often. My liking for everything twisted and disturbing has been nothing but helpful in this regard and I'm sure some of you out there consider me to be intimidating or scary. Others think I'm just somebody who's stuck in his edgy teenager phase...who knows. With regard to the prologue of this thread, now would be the time to say it to my face with little consequence. It's a bit of an experiment really. I have spent most of my life observing, but this time I wanted to leave the observing to others. And I wanted to leave room to express what they made of these observations.

Originally the thread posed a very simple question: "What am I?" Surely better than the "Do I seem insane to you?" poll I had in mind at the very beginning. Having burrowed your way through all these paragraphs and with my general conduct in mind, I'm sure you got enough material to answer this question. Simple statements or astute conclusions, it's free-for-all.

As I've said before, you can be intimidating or scary, but you have also proven to be otherwise sometimes.

I do wonder if when one says they don't or can't care, that it might simply be that they don't want to care, based on their past experiences where caring might have proven to be painful to the extent that it is deemed pointless by the subconscious because it isn't associated to a pleasant experience. Maybe they are aware of this, maybe not - who knows.

A large part of me believes that you do know how to, and can care but something's messed up somewhere and you decide that it shouldn't be there. Enough to convince your subconscious that you are an uncaring person, and thus that is how you feel, think and behave. Then again, I could be wrong but you did ask for observations and this is just merely mine.

With all that said, I don't think you're insane. You're as sane as any other person could be. I do think that you are a too hard on yourself and in turn that might lead you to be a little too hard on others too (in some cases, not always). Maybe it is why you hold such strict principles too, besides the past being an influence to how you are now.

What are you? If you're having a hard time answering that right now, I always believe that there is a high possibility that whatever you're putting up or adopting in your lifestyle now is mostly a defense/escape mechanism to some extent... just to get by with life.

Just my thoughts.
 
You sound very intelligent and put together. Definitely not "unraveling". I think that you tend to take a clinical view of life. That isn't right or wrong. However, you might want to look at opening up to the small things of life that bring us joy. Learn to savor a well cooked meal and appreciate the time and effort that went into that. Go to a play or some musical and appreciate the time and effort put into the preparation to put on a good performance. Take a hike and marvel at all the types of birds and their songs.
In other words, maybe step outside of the clinical a little bit. See the human heart behind the efforts. See the beauty of nature around you that we often fail to see in our day to day lives.
 
First of all, thanks to everyone who has replied so far. I went completely out on a limb with this thread, but I already got more than I had bargained for.

When I asked for observations I was fully aware they could go in either direction, but I there wasn't going to be a right or wrong. It was about what people see and make of it, especially since I only talked privately to a minority. I understand when some would rather keep it to themselves since I have observed countless things I'd never share with anybody. Just know that I wasn't interested in truthful revelations, merely individual opinions.

And even if I don't believe being articulate and insane necessarily exclude each other, I've come to trust the public more when it comes down to the matter of craziness, so I guess I'll breathe a sigh of relief.

So on a positive note, I can put something like this up:
lw8tyeD.png


Now onto a more detailed reply.

ladyforsaken said:
I do wonder if when one says they don't or can't care, that it might simply be that they don't want to care, based on their past experiences where caring might have proven to be painful to the extent that it is deemed pointless by the subconscious because it isn't associated to a pleasant experience. Maybe they are aware of this, maybe not - who knows.

A large part of me believes that you do know how to, and can care but something's messed up somewhere and you decide that it shouldn't be there. Enough to convince your subconscious that you are an uncaring person, and thus that is how you feel, think and behave. Then again, I could be wrong but you did ask for observations and this is just merely mine.

When somebody can make the conscious decision between caring and not caring, potentially in the blink of an eye, I don't think they ever really cared in the first place. I had my share of experiences where attempts at support have been painful and pointless in the long run, but at all times it has been surprisingly easy to detach myself once I was certain nothing productive coming out of it. But I only deem that possible when you "care" with your brain. That's not genuine care though. For the sake of distinguishing I'll stick to calling it support. For me that's neither associated with anything pleasant nor unpleasant though I did say before that I experience the act of others caring for me as unpleasant, genuine or not, simply because I can't exhibit it myself. And because they regret it when I think I served my term.

Hypothetically, even if it was some subconscious fuckup, it has been proven to me more than once that no amount of genuine care - not even from the kindest people - has been able to suddenly reactivate some secret stash of care packages in my mental backyard. Neither was there a trace of this "gratification" that has been outlined to me so often. And I'm not willing to pour any more effort (or even money) into trying to turn myself into something which I am not. More importantly, I'm not willing to cause more collateral damage because I had deluded myself that it was possible and other people were too goodhearted to see through it.

ladyforsaken said:
What are you? If you're having a hard time answering that right now, I always believe that there is a high possibility that whatever you're putting up or adopting in your lifestyle now is mostly a defense/escape mechanism to some extent... just to get by with life.

That doesn't make any sense to me, really. What sensible person would actively seek other people's opinions in line with a defense mechanism? Wouldn't I be more focussed on running a tight ship instead of exposing myself then?

But I'm sitting here now, as alone as I was before I came here and while I have regrets about the pain I inflicted on some people, I am neither lonely nor desperate to get back what I've thrown away. My mistake wasn't ending what I always should've seen as temporary...it was letting things get out of hand in the first place. What I have tossed aside couldn't have been that valuable to me or else I would have different feelings about it. But there is no hole inside of me now, I go on about life as I always did. I did ask myself "Can you find it in your heart?" at some point and the answer was No.

And taking in all the responses, I think I know more than ever what I am, but more importantly what I am not. No psycho, no loony, no boogeyman. Just me. Not particularly selfless, not particularly selfish. Somebody who makes the right decisions based on the analysis of the current situation. Sometimes for himself, sometimes for others. Even if it involves breaking a kneecap here and there.

delledonne11 said:
You sound very intelligent and put together. Definitely not "unraveling". I think that you tend to take a clinical view of life. That isn't right or wrong. However, you might want to look at opening up to the small things of life that bring us joy. Learn to savor a well cooked meal and appreciate the time and effort that went into that. Go to a play or some musical and appreciate the time and effort put into the preparation to put on a good performance. Take a hike and marvel at all the types of birds and their songs. In other words, maybe step outside of the clinical a little bit. See the human heart behind the efforts. See the beauty of nature around you that we often fail to see in our day to day lives.

Does it seem contradictory that I indeed enjoy a lot of these small things, suffice to say they keep me going? Otherwise I wouldn't be able to enjoy music so much, along with social satire and comedy though I have never been to a live performance. I'm trying to teach myself playing the guitar and I take pride in everything remotely edible I create. Hell, I chose a creative trade to earn a living and I'm good at it. Admittedly I mostly find joy in peace and my own serenity. In contrast to human interaction, I find it easy to attribute value to my own interests. You are right, I prefer the clinical view most of the time but there are others things as well. Yet in total I found this way to be adequate for my purposes.
 
I've never felt you were intimidating or scary, Rodent. Perhaps stoic and closed-off is more accurate. That's not a criticism, by the way. I understand and respect why someone would be like that.

Do you feel like your life is missing something?
 
lifestream said:
I've never felt you were intimidating or scary, Rodent. Perhaps stoic and closed-off is more accurate. That's not a criticism, by the way. I understand and respect why someone would be like that.

Thanks, lifestream. No offense has been taken. It falls into line with everything that has been said here so far.

lifestream said:
Do you feel like your life is missing something?

Honestly, I think I wouldn't be here anymore if that was not the case. Being unfulfilled is more or less a permanent condition, but there is no such thing as a gaping hole which I used to feel back in puberty. I already know I feel most fulfilled when I make professional success, hone my abilities, make a good argument, entertain, create things or discover something new that stimulates me. I also know a lot of things that don't work for me, but which work splendidly for others. Along with things I have done which made others happy, but left me empty. When I was done with driving school the instructor put it into one simple sentence: It doesn't end here. He couldn't have been more precise. I'll always be looking for ways to improve because I grow with every accomplishment or discovery.
 
I don't get the impression that you're aloof, lacking in empathy etc. Your transactional assessment of friendship is a bit flawed though.

Emotional attachments to strangers on a internet board are far from mandatory. It's not a natural environment to interact with people.
 
ardour said:
I don't get the impression that you're aloof, lacking in empathy etc. Your transactional assessment of friendship is a bit flawed though.

I think there's a major difference between empathy and what I'd term logical evaluation. I can usually estimate who's receptive to this and who isn't. I'm not one for random acts of kindness and for instance I never understood how somebody feeling sorry for another helps anybody. I wouldn't claim it's ideal or appropriate at all times either...it's just that this is what I'm best at.

ardour said:
Emotional attachments to strangers on a internet board are far from mandatory. It's not a natural environment to interact with people.

That's a topic I could spend a long time dissecting. I basically grew up on the internet, so it's not unnatural for me anymore. For simplicity, just as in real life you cross the line from stranger to friend eventually. By interacting privately and revealing your personality - appearance can follow later. It doesn't matter if you never met face to face so far, people get comfortable after a while. It can have a lot of advantages and I know there are many around here who would assign their online friends the same value as their real-life ones, maybe an even higher one.
 
Rodent said:
I'll always be looking for ways to improve because I grow with every accomplishment or discovery.

To what end, though? I commend your attitude towards self-improvement and I wish more people in life shared it, but what are you trying to achieve? Is it simply the acquisition of new skills or are you seeking a greater understanding of human (and thereby your own) nature?

If you're content to be as you are, then you're fortunate, but keep in mind that knowledge and wisdom are two divergent roads.
 
lifestream said:
To what end, though? I commend your attitude towards self-improvement and I wish more people in life shared it, but what are you trying to achieve? Is it simply the acquisition of new skills or are you seeking a greater understanding of human (and thereby your own) nature?

If you're content to be as you are, then you're fortunate, but keep in mind that knowledge and wisdom are two divergent roads.

I'd say one part is directed at mere stimulation - not letting the brain decay. An idle mind is the devil's playground and all that. The other part is acquiring skills which might be turned into a profit later on. With an uncertain future in mind, it doesn't hurt to be skilled in various fields. But even if some (maybe even most) of the knowledge and abilities I gain aren't exactly known for being profitable, they keep my mind running and from what I've observed about myself, it's easier to adapt and improve if you are in a perpetual state of progress.

I've basically given up gaining greater understanding. Trying to comprehend human nature has gotten stale a couple of years ago and left me unfulfilled. In comparison to other skills, it mostly has an end in itself. Humanity as a whole doesn't surprise me much anymore. Along with that I had to learn the difference between knowledge and wisdom years ago...I think I usually referred to them as intelligence and reason back then. You don't have to be awfully intelligent to be a reasonable person and make the right choices though it can help. Yet if you are highly intelligent but lack any reason most of your intelligence will go to hell and you just end up as a massive gardenia detached from reality. To each his own though, you can still be very successful that way even if that may border on psychopathy.
 
Rodent, I know you don't want to hear from me, for whatever reason you made up your mind about a long time ago but... The things I said in the past, I was just trying to help steer you away from this. From you running out of options and pushing everyone away. I knew that was what was going to happen. I believe I even told you this would happen. Maybe I was wrong about a few things and made some assumptions because you seemed to form some rather strong presumptions about me before you ever really gave me a chance, but I'm sure you know that we all make mistakes sometimes. As the old expression goes, 'to err is human'.
The problem isn't that I was ever trying to hurt you, as you seem to believe. The problem is I saw inside of you something I saw in myself a long time ago, something I knew was destructive. Even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear, I said it anyway. And despite me not knowing you much I'm sure that you're more than familiar with this kind of thing yourself, with saying things that someone needs to hear even if it isn't what they want to hear.

You certainly do not seem 'insane' by any means. Though you obviously do know there is some sort of problem. I think maybe you've simply just been trying to reject your own humanity. Perhaps you're even trying to reject everyone's humanity. And I believe I know some of the reasons why, because the things you say sound so familiar to me. But I'm not even sure you're going to read this post.
And I'm not sure what I ever did to make you think so little of me so quickly, though I do seem to have that effect on people sometimes, but I was always trying to help. Even if you think I did a really bad job of it. And maybe I did. Or maybe I didn't. I guess that is still your call.

Anyway, I don't mean to set you off. I'm not even sure if that last comment was directed at me or not? I do not really know you well enough to make such a conclusion. I do not really think of myself as so important that I'd actually get mentioned by others. So I'll just assume it wasn't me you meant. I just know you've got me on ignore, again for whatever reason that was... And if you did mean me? Wow. Can you at least tell me what exactly I did to make you hate me so much? You don't even know me.
 
I'm sure some people find you all the things you said, but so what? Not everyone is the same and there are people here (and other places, I'm sure) that find you refreshing and real. I say be who you are and don't be sorry for it.
Those who have a problem with you probably have a problem with a lot of people or maybe they are just easily offended (kind of goes with the site, IMO).

I have never had a problem with any of your posts (unless, of course I disagreed with them :club: Jk).
 
Deep inside I knew you weren't gonna respect my request. And yes, it was written specifically with you in mind. Yet you are here again, trying to "help" though I had made it extremely clear that you are of no help to me. I have made up my mind about you aeons ago but you seem to have trouble accepting it. Do you get that often?

Since it's my thread, allow me to take some time to name the most prominent reasons why I hate you so we can get this back on track soon: I hated your tone from the very first minute, the way you speak to others in this condescending preachy way that seems to come naturally but unconscious to you. I hate how seem to unable to focus on the core of an issue and how you derail incredibly on simple questions. I also hate how you think we are similar or how your past self has been been similar to me. The last person who claimed this was just as much of a preacher and pseudo philosopher who could never keep his eyes on the prize and used endless metaphors and comparisons which added up to nothing but hot air. I had fully made up your mind after our exchange in one of your first threads when you spoke about being misunderstood...a mindset which I have long abandoned during my teenage years and this is one of the major things that sets us apart. I don't seek to be recognized as just a misunderstood spirit, desperately longing for the validation of people who will never embrace me for what I am because they understand very well what I really am. Last but not least I really learned to hate you for ridiculing me by making assumptions for my personal taste for the morbid, my past choice of quotes on my profile and all these things which make me "me". You had the audacity to deconstruct me...you, who couldn't even come up with an original name.

So, I'm set off for what...the third time now? And you are here once more, trying to convince me of your good intentions. Have you any idea why? Why does it mean so much to you? You know, after all these times I don't give a **** about your justifications or convictions anymore. You've proven that you would rather follow your own good intentions (which have sent lesser men to hell), pushing people over the edge repeatedly instead of respecting what they ask of you. Other people may like your ways and may be receptive to the kind of pep talks you give them, but this is about me. So if you really want to help me - for the first and final time during your stay on this forum, then just do me this one simple favor:

Shut up. Don't say anything to me ever again. Stop trying to appeal to me. Stop trying to "help". If you get that into your head, don't even reply to this thread. Only then I will know that you finally understand.

Now I hope no moderator deems any of these words I have written here in need of moderation. He asked the question and I answered truthfully. Keeping him on ignore and voicing my displeasure repeatedly has not helped. But I had to suffer through his sermons and his desperate pleas too often to just swallow it all down. This is my thread and there shall be no bickering...all he has to do is follow my request.




TheRealCallie said:
I'm sure some people find you all the things you said, but so what? Not everyone is the same and there are people here (and other places, I'm sure) that find you refreshing and real. I say be who you are and don't be sorry for it.
Those who have a problem with you probably have a problem with a lot of people or maybe they are just easily offended (kind of goes with the site, IMO).

I have never had a problem with any of your posts (unless, of course I disagreed with them :club: Jk).

After a while you get used to being called certain names, but I know I don't have to embrace them, neither is it my job to convince people otherwise.

Thanks for straight words, Callie. I'll always have respect for those who put things bluntly. As long as it's not just for the hell of it of course.
 
Rodent said:
Rodent, I am not 'honoring your request' simply because there is no point to it.
You are wrong about me and the sort of person that you think I am. You even say I have ridiculed you yet I have never once ever done this to you. You can ask many people here and I'm sure most will disagree with much of your assessment of the type of person I am. I believe these errors are rather inexcusable, as well. For the things that you may be right on, then I will simply say that no one is perfect but that their lack of perfection is by no means a reason to hate someone.
And just so I am clear, I have no hate or disgust or anything like that against you, despite the nasty things you say. I wish absolutely nothing bad against you, and in fact only wish for the best. That is only something that you hold against me, you and you alone.

In fact, I think the very nature of your hate against me is the very fundamental problem you're having here and that this topic is all about. Which is why I feel that it is absolutely relevant and reasonable that I reply again.
And your dismissing of my views, and only replying with hate, is only serving to prove that you're not actually willing to address this problem you are speaking of. And I do not really believe this topic was actually made in true earnesty.
I now think perhaps what it is you need is a bit of humility in order to actually seek help from people in true earnesty, instead of attempting to do whatever it is you're doing right now. Not just the things you're doing to me, but what you've done to the friends you lost and probably everyone in general. You already recognized in this topic it is a problem. The real problem now is only whether you're going to do something about it or not.

But you think my help is worthless to you. And oddly you think that I should somehow have this "respect" for you and your wishes, that you've never done anything to even earn and done very much to negate, so that I might not even attempt to help you on anything? How would that even be respectful to you even if you did earn some respect from me? I do not think you are thinking very clearly on this.

So I'm going to leave you with this, because neither of us wishes things to go any further right now and I believe it may give you some clarity:
The real irony here is the reason I was always trying to help you, despite your requests, is that I see in you something I saw in myself when I was around your age. And I believe that if you continue on this path you're only going to end up becoming like me. This topic more than ever confirmed my beliefs, down to the details. Absolutely all the signs and similarities are there. So, I am warning you now. If you continue like this you will one day be like me.

Let that one sink in for a moment. Tell yourself it won't happen if you want to. But you may want to at least consider it a possibility.
 
Despicable Me said:
<Endless sermon>

Dismissed. On the note of honoring my request...I had issues with a handful of people, but no matter how little respect I had for them, they were not so goddam self-absorbed to not leave me alone when I asked for it. But if I need to earn your respect before I can make that request, I'd rather drown in my own bile.

Despicable Me said:
So, I am warning you now. If you continue like this you will one day be like me.

And I consider it a high possibility that not listening to you is the only way to escape becoming a similar whiner who struggles with issues which I'd regard as teenage bullshit.

What you will always fail to understand is that it's not important what your intentions are...the impact of your actions on the receiving end are what matter. Now I'm not even upset anymore and I've decided the best way to deal with you is to ridicule you for all eternity. Choke on it.

[video=youtube]
 

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