How to live life alone?

I couldn't find a proper answer on the internet. All those answers seem to be written only for getting money or fame. None of them seems to have experienced what I

have.
Two days ago I decided to live the rest of my life alone. Far from here, where nobody knows me. I dont want to talk to anyone for the rest of my life, because I am not

strong enough to bear anymore hatred by others.
All the people I have met in my life, have hated me, or made fun of me, or rejeceted me, or ignored me, for some reason or for no reason.Some of them even here. Maybe

I dont deserve a companion. I am too bad for deserving one. Because all the people who have a commpanion, havent struggled as much as I have. Nobody has ever liked me.

I have given everything I could, with full faith and hope, but never recieved anything in return. I am a human too, its not possible for me to not expect anything in

life.
I have never recieved a gift, a smile, or a surprise or a greeting. I look around, I see infinite people, but none of them cares. I have tried to meet everyone around

me, nobody has shown even a tiny bit of interest in me.
I have been slapped infinite times, I have been abused as a child, I dont know what love is. Sorry, but self love is not possible for me, because I dont have any idea

how love feels like, or looks like, or tastes like. I have met doctors,psychiatrists, experts, but how can they help me when they just want money and havent faced what

I have. How can pills and tablets cure loneliness?
I have no talent, no specialities. I have nothing to offer to this world, except my boring story, and who wants that? Nobody can love me....nobody....I am unlovable. I

derserve no happiness...
Few weeks ago, I lost proper vision of my eye. When anybody gets injured or has even a little fever, people visit them, send messages saying, "Get well soon".etc.

Nobody has done that to me. I lost so many job opportunities that I had dreamed of, due to my blurry eyesight. I know I have other options, but what if I dont have any

interest in them?

Logically, my life is over. I cant face things anymore. I am not even strong to commit suicide. I just cant. The only option I have is to live alone, far from

someone's company, and live with regret.
Please suggest me a way so that I can live my life alone. No its not by doing things I love. I love nothing. I like nothing. I have no hobbies, no interests. I threw

my rubik's cube from the third floor, I shattered it into pieces and made a promise to never play with it again. And nobody can change that......I cant live my life with a toy...

Find some Hare Krishna practitioners and join the practice. Dunno. Just a random suggestion that may work.

Wish I had some real help.

Well I am not really going to respond directly to you because I think you are in a bad place right now and should really re-think making decisions like living alone when you are so angry. But I will hijack you thread...

I have long wished for a website that was devoted to loners with good tips. I never find anything useful. So here are my suggestions.
- Always have a spare key for your home in a place you can access it. I have a "fake rock" that has a key hidden in it. The rock is hidden away in a good spot outside my home.
- Always have cash hidden away in places in case of emergency. I have cash hidden in places in my home, my car, and my office. I also have a spare key to my home in my office at work.
- Always have extra credit cards in case of emergency. I have them hidden in places so, if my wallet it stolen or lost, I will have something....
- Learn the art of home maintenance. Take a day and make sure you understand your home's emergency things. Know what your breakers turn off. Know if you have a water turn off and how to turn it off.
- get a pet. Honestly I think pets are better companions than humans.

Anyone else wanna add?

dying is easier........ huh....nobody understands.....

Your past does not have to define your future. Get some help, work on coping with the past and focus on the future.

I dunno if what works for someone in a middle class job in America would work for a poor man in India.... or a poor man in America.

I don't think I've learned any coping skills. All that has happened is that I've become older and lost all hope, hence the name. I don't hope for happiness, I just lurch on in life... waiting for something in this world to change, but it won't and until that happens there is nothing I can do.

Losing eyesight is something pretty scary, something I don't have to deal with. I'm guessing you know the cause of that and the medical profession is giving you the shaft.

there is no hope said:

I don't hope for happiness, I just lurch on in life... waiting for something in this world to change, but it won't and until that happens there is nothing I can do.

Click to expand...

This is what it always comes down to, isn't it?
Either waiting on the world to change, or trying to force the world to change and failing the majority of the time.
Those who are privileged failing less often than others who were less privileged, but everyone fails to some degree. The least of us whom are given no choice at all.
And while we wait, we just get older and older, knowing the end draws closer.

I still believe there is a sort of happiness you can find apart from this rat race, an internal kind of happiness, but I would not be so arrogant to suggest that it is the only kind of happiness, nor would I be so naive to suggest it is the only one we ever need.
I have yet to figure out what to do about this situation. Is the answer truly so superficial as simply to obtain privilege, or is it merely to fight without end and without selfishness? Does war truly bring happiness? Is society really that messed up? I look for a different answer than these. That is what I have not found yet.

Have you spoke to a psychologist?

Ignore that I'll reply in more detail soon...

matt4 said:

Have you spoke to a psychologist?

Ignore that I'll reply in more detail soon...

Click to expand...

Yes...but it didn't help me...

M_also_lonely said:

matt4 said:

Have you spoke to a psychologist?

Click to expand...

Yes...but it didn't help me...

Click to expand...

Did you actually give it a real chance to help you?
A lot of people probably go to psychologists believing they'll get 'cured' and often believe it will happen in only a few visits, or else they believe they will feel some kind of immediate results with each visit. Neither of those things is true, though. Psychology is a practice that slowly takes effect over time. It also requires finding the right doctor to help you. Obviously not all of them will work for everyone.

Though don't mind me... I have never been a therapy patient. I just know a lot of psychologists.

Despicable Me said:

M_also_lonely said:

matt4 said:

Have you spoke to a psychologist?

Click to expand...

Yes...but it didn't help me...

Click to expand...

Did you actually give it a real chance to help you?
A lot of people probably go to psychologists believing they'll get 'cured' and often believe it will happen in only a few visits, or else they believe they will feel some kind of immediate results with each visit. Neither of those things is true, though. Psychology is a practice that slowly takes effect over time. It also requires finding the right doctor to help you. Obviously not all of them will work for everyone.

Though don't mind me... I have never been a therapy patient. I just know a lot of psychologists.

Click to expand...

I have tried more than you could imagine... I have tried talking to more people than extroverts successfully talk to, but I cant go beyond Hi and How are you...
And if the person is a girl, I forget the H of Hi. And if it is a face to face talk, I am dead.

Its the easiest thing to say, "You need to have some confidence". But it is not sold in markets, I cant just HAVE it. Simply trying doesnt give confidence. Success gives confidence.. which is something I have never got.....especially with people....

M_also_lonely said:

I have tried more than you could imagine... I have tried talking to more people than extroverts successfully talk to, but I cant go beyond Hi and How are you...
And if the person is a girl, I forget the H of Hi. And if it is a face to face talk, I am dead.

Its the easiest thing to say, "You need to have some confidence". But it is not sold in markets, I cant just HAVE it. Simply trying doesnt give confidence. Success gives confidence.. which is something I have never got.....especially with people....

Click to expand...

If success is how you get confidence then I guess I must not really exist. I learned to have confidence in myself through constant and repeated failure.
I think maybe sometimes some people just have to hit the absolute bottom in order to realize their mistakes. At that point there is nothing else that matters but going back up and there is also nothing left to lose.
Maybe, in a way, you could say that only someone who was once a slave can fully appreciate having Freedom.
This is why sometimes I tell people that you first have to completely destroy yourself in order to truly become yourself. Until you can free yourself from the person that you think you are, you can never be your true self.

In religious terms, one must entirely destroy the concept of self in order to realize the greater picture within, the Whole, the Everything.
Perhaps you can appreciate this being from India? You know of the Hindu religion, yes?
Hinduism speaks quite a bit about the elimination of self and the higher divinity of the Truth of oneself. You must accept and come to know the Atman, your true self. Realize your true nature and all will become clear.
It is not an idea exclusive to Hinduism but due to Hinduism's prevalence in India I thought this might be a way you can understand.

It's kind of hard to say what 'Hinduism' speaks of when everyone from Shankara to the Charvakas gets grouped under that term. What Despicable Me is talking about sounds like fairly standard Advaita though. I'm kind of more interested in the Tantric interpretations since I've realized I don't like the idea of the phenomenal world being deprived of all meaning which is what a lot of interpretations of Shankara and the Upanishads seem to do. I prefer to view Maya as temporal but not deprived of reality. Sorry for my off topic rant, that last comment just got me thinking.

LonelySutton said:

Well I am not really going to respond directly to you because I think you are in a bad place right now and should really re-think making decisions like living alone when you are so angry. But I will hijack you thread...

I have long wished for a website that was devoted to loners with good tips. I never find anything useful. So here are my suggestions.
- Always have a spare key for your home in a place you can access it. I have a "fake rock" that has a key hidden in it. The rock is hidden away in a good spot outside my home.
- Always have cash hidden away in places in case of emergency. I have cash hidden in places in my home, my car, and my office. I also have a spare key to my home in my office at work.
- Always have extra credit cards in case of emergency. I have them hidden in places so, if my wallet it stolen or lost, I will have something....
- Learn the art of home maintenance. Take a day and make sure you understand your home's emergency things. Know what your breakers turn off. Know if you have a water turn off and how to turn it off.
- get a pet. Honestly I think pets are better companions than humans.

Anyone else wanna add?

Click to expand...

This all good advice, especially the pet part.

OP, I share your sentiment, having been abused most of my life. The problem is, unless you're independently wealthy, most of us have to rely on others for the necessities of life --- therein lies the rub!
:/