Hi all,
I guess since I haven't made one yet I'll begin with my introduction as suggested by the forum for new users:
I live in Reno, Nevada, and I'm a fifteen year old boy. I hope that my age is foremostly legally acceptable for this forum (if not please allow me to depart without issue), and I hope no one will view me differently for being younger than what seems to be most users.
I'm here because I've had very low self esteem for a little over a year now. I was doing okay with it before but now that I'm in high school, a different school, I've lost all of my friends and I've become very lonely. I titled my thread "In Hopes of Assistance" because I'm hoping that someone or some people will be able to help me conquer my insecurities and lack of self esteem. They've gradually taken over my life, but I still retain enough of my original self to say "I want to fix this."
I want to get through this as soon as I can, but I do understand it will take time.
I'll try to make my description of my situation as brief as possible. I started high school this year, and I haven't had a whole lot of fun because all but a few of my friends went to different schools, and the ones who didn't abandoned me for the sake of being popular (which sucked). I myself experience extreme difficulty in merely talking to people, much less making friends for a plethora of reasons. First and foremost, I have a mortal terror of offending or upsetting anyone, which is notoriously hard not to do in this day and age. I'm also relatively shy, and I often over-interpret signs from other people that may suggest they are upset with me. However, this makes me literally avoid talking to anyone during my normal day. I hide in various corners of my school and put on a facade of depression to ward off anyone who may want to talk to me (I also believe no one would want to anyways, but inside I know it isn't true)
I have a lot of insecurities, and two that most concern me both concern my physical appearance; I strongly believe I am super fat and super ugly. For the former, it's mainly because I weigh near 170 lbs, and I'm 5'9" (I believe those are the correct notations) which is fairly high for my age and height. As for the latter, I believe it is an unconscious attempt at a reason for my social unpopularity.
I often feel like it is wrong to have a different opinion from someone else because it may elicit a negative reaction from them. Therefore when asked even basic things what my favorite song is, or what my favorite color is, I'm afraid to answer.
Another thing is I'm an extreme perfectionist, and if something I do isn't absolutely perfect, I get really depressed and antisocial. I'd like to be able to overcome this and accept that it is okay to not be perfect. I know it is true, but I have to hear it from someone else. Speaking of which....
I have trouble knowing what is right and what isn't, but I don't mean in the sense of morals, I do have those very clear- I mean I don't know what to believe for basic things. The first example to come to mind is the definition of love. I used to be in a relationship and we were both happy (I mean as far as 8th grade relationships went) but I started reading a book (The Perks of Being a Wallflower) and I read something about love. I don't remember the exact quote, but it was something like "Charlie, love isn't just doing anything for and being nice to someone", and I was instantly questioning myself because this was exactly what I did, and I thought it meant I may not truly love my then-partner. That, in combination with other factors, ended the relationship. What I'm asking for is help in solidifying my own beliefs, instead of letting them be so easily replaced.
Next is just plain confidence. If I had some, it's likely I could overcome all of this. And the funny thing is, is I have my confidence. The problem is it's stuck behind a gate called insecurity. Whenever my confidence is let out, most of my problems are solved. But the minute something prods an insecurity, it just collapses entirely. I'm asking all of you to help me find a way to either destroy my insecurities, figure out how to recover faster, or just deflect said prods. I also need to find out if my physical insecurities are founded or not, so I can decide what degree of action to take on them.
Thank all of you in advance! I've read some other threads before writing my own, and I can see that the people here are great people. I just hope my story may warrant the assistance of those people.
Soleon
I guess since I haven't made one yet I'll begin with my introduction as suggested by the forum for new users:
I live in Reno, Nevada, and I'm a fifteen year old boy. I hope that my age is foremostly legally acceptable for this forum (if not please allow me to depart without issue), and I hope no one will view me differently for being younger than what seems to be most users.
I'm here because I've had very low self esteem for a little over a year now. I was doing okay with it before but now that I'm in high school, a different school, I've lost all of my friends and I've become very lonely. I titled my thread "In Hopes of Assistance" because I'm hoping that someone or some people will be able to help me conquer my insecurities and lack of self esteem. They've gradually taken over my life, but I still retain enough of my original self to say "I want to fix this."
I want to get through this as soon as I can, but I do understand it will take time.
I'll try to make my description of my situation as brief as possible. I started high school this year, and I haven't had a whole lot of fun because all but a few of my friends went to different schools, and the ones who didn't abandoned me for the sake of being popular (which sucked). I myself experience extreme difficulty in merely talking to people, much less making friends for a plethora of reasons. First and foremost, I have a mortal terror of offending or upsetting anyone, which is notoriously hard not to do in this day and age. I'm also relatively shy, and I often over-interpret signs from other people that may suggest they are upset with me. However, this makes me literally avoid talking to anyone during my normal day. I hide in various corners of my school and put on a facade of depression to ward off anyone who may want to talk to me (I also believe no one would want to anyways, but inside I know it isn't true)
I have a lot of insecurities, and two that most concern me both concern my physical appearance; I strongly believe I am super fat and super ugly. For the former, it's mainly because I weigh near 170 lbs, and I'm 5'9" (I believe those are the correct notations) which is fairly high for my age and height. As for the latter, I believe it is an unconscious attempt at a reason for my social unpopularity.
I often feel like it is wrong to have a different opinion from someone else because it may elicit a negative reaction from them. Therefore when asked even basic things what my favorite song is, or what my favorite color is, I'm afraid to answer.
Another thing is I'm an extreme perfectionist, and if something I do isn't absolutely perfect, I get really depressed and antisocial. I'd like to be able to overcome this and accept that it is okay to not be perfect. I know it is true, but I have to hear it from someone else. Speaking of which....
I have trouble knowing what is right and what isn't, but I don't mean in the sense of morals, I do have those very clear- I mean I don't know what to believe for basic things. The first example to come to mind is the definition of love. I used to be in a relationship and we were both happy (I mean as far as 8th grade relationships went) but I started reading a book (The Perks of Being a Wallflower) and I read something about love. I don't remember the exact quote, but it was something like "Charlie, love isn't just doing anything for and being nice to someone", and I was instantly questioning myself because this was exactly what I did, and I thought it meant I may not truly love my then-partner. That, in combination with other factors, ended the relationship. What I'm asking for is help in solidifying my own beliefs, instead of letting them be so easily replaced.
Next is just plain confidence. If I had some, it's likely I could overcome all of this. And the funny thing is, is I have my confidence. The problem is it's stuck behind a gate called insecurity. Whenever my confidence is let out, most of my problems are solved. But the minute something prods an insecurity, it just collapses entirely. I'm asking all of you to help me find a way to either destroy my insecurities, figure out how to recover faster, or just deflect said prods. I also need to find out if my physical insecurities are founded or not, so I can decide what degree of action to take on them.
Thank all of you in advance! I've read some other threads before writing my own, and I can see that the people here are great people. I just hope my story may warrant the assistance of those people.
Soleon