I get annoyed so easily with my dad and feel bad because I can't pinpoint why

I'm at college and rarely do I have phone conversations with my parents now. But I notice that whenever I do have a conversation with my dad, I get annoyed. He has a problem with not interpreting what I say correctly, saying something and making a contradiction and not realizing it, saying words that have no content/no supportive evidence and therefore don't make sense to me, etc. We were having phone call issues and so I told him to not answer with "hello" when I say hello, because that would make me think that he's not hearing me. But he says, "I know, I didn't hear you, so I didn't say hello." Which means that he thought I meant for him to answer with "hello". Then I became even more direct because he wasn't understanding me, and I asked, straightforward, "If you did hear me, what would you answer with? Would you say hello?" (pause) "If you hear me, don't answer with hello because I would think you can't hear me." And then he says "Whatever, it doesn't matter. We need to pick a dorm for you.. blah blah blah.." It upsets me that I get so annoyed with him so easily and I know he really does have an issue with the way conversation goes that I would like him to improve in. At a couple minutes into a conversation with him, I find that I'm just not in the mood for talking to him at the moment. I was previously annoyed that he did not acknowledge some of the contradictions he made and still did not seem to understand. So when he moved on to another topic, I just felt turned off. I wish I could look past his not being able to respond correctly/make sense of things to me and pinpoint exactly what makes me annoyed. I feel like such a bad person for feeling this way. I like to imagine that if my dad were to pass away suddenly, I would feel so ashamed and still confused as to how angry I felt towards him when he was not offensive to me and just being somewhat clueless, but benign and caring.

I do similar stuff with both my parents. I think that they will always annoy you to an extent just because they are your parents. Maybe just try taking a deep breath before you talk to them and try to slow your reactions down so you don't fly off the cuff with him as quickly.

Could it be that you are also not interpreting what he is saying, as well?

Is it possible that he is an easy target to blow up at ?

I understand how you feel, I feel the same way about my mum...

My advice? Take a deep breath before you call, and tell yourself that 'Yes, Dad might get me annoyed, but I'm going to do my best to be patient, and understanding...and if I can't do that, I'll phone back when I'm more in the mood to handle talking.'

Trust me, the day will come when you will want to have your Dad around to annoy you, and he won't be. I lost my dad a little over a month ago, and as much as he used to frustrate me sometimes, I would give anything to have him around to annoy me just one more time.

P.S - Don't think too much into this or be too hard on yourself. Everybody's parents irritate them at some point or another.

@BadGuy: Possibly. When my dormmates say something sassy to me or that provokes me, I usually feel uncomfortable responding negatively, even though they're pegging me on. I find that if I want to, it comes out hesitantly and in a low voice that sounds more like I'm complaining to myself. It is a few certain people (not everyone) who tend to say things that bother me.
Example: I walk into the floor space and one friend remarks "Oh God..." and I want to say something, but I only manage to say in a low voice, "Why do you have to say 'Oh God..'..." and then I just walk away and into my room because I've been trying to break my attachment to them so that I can open myself up to new friendships.

It's kind of natural to get annoyed with parents, my mom says things that annoy me all the time. Sometimes no matter how old you get some just don't know when to stop being parents and let you run your own life. Your dad does sound like he has a rather annoying quirk.

ringwood said:

I understand how you feel, I feel the same way about my mum...

My advice? Take a deep breath before you call, and tell yourself that 'Yes, Dad might get me annoyed, but I'm going to do my best to be patient, and understanding...and if I can't do that, I'll phone back when I'm more in the mood to handle talking.'

Trust me, the day will come when you will want to have your Dad around to annoy you, and he won't be. I lost my dad a little over a month ago, and as much as he used to frustrate me sometimes, I would give anything to have him around to annoy me just one more time.

P.S - Don't think too much into this or be too hard on yourself. Everybody's parents irritate them at some point or another.

Click to expand...

That's really sad. I miss my parents when I see them smiling in pictures. I expected college to be a haven away from being screamed at and belittled at home from my parents and brother who collectively made me look like a fool of myself. I guess it is, but still I can't stand up for myself to annoying people because I feel whatever I say would be questioned and used to make fun of me.