A Man Named Catherine : Day I am Free From Lying

Recently I had been in contact with an ex that I have been having problems getting over. We had lived together for years and she went no contact for 90 days or so. She decided to get back into contact because her current relationship is not giving her everything she wants.

Texting and emailing back and forth when I look carefully at one of the emails. It has my em address in parenthesis and next to it the contact name is Catherine. I confronted her about it and she said that it was best to be circumspect because her current man would flip if he found out.

Day or two later something snapped in me. I have had problems in the past with lying. Performance based relationships gave me the excuse to lie and I did so. I lost a great deal of myself and who I am trying to please others. To the point that I have little left and my life is simple. Having so little to protect, I have decided to change.

Instead of lying, I will say that I am unwilling to answer that. I will not engage in behaviors or place myself in situations where I feel the need to protect things, assets, ego, or relationships.

I have learned to live alone but now I choose to live with myself....

so from a man name Catherine, I thank my ex for a gift she will never know its true value.

I pray to have the strength to not talk to her, cut contact, and walk this road where I can get true value of whom I am with self respect.

Thank you alonelylife, you have helped more than you now also.

CHeers

I think women are more shady then men ... of coarse that's coming from a man's point of view

I can also understand why women could be fearful of a guys reaction to something like that
But I don't understand putting up with it on the females part

I know I am in females cell phones as something other than my name

Alone By Faults said:

Recently I had been in contact with an ex that I have been having problems getting over. We had lived together for years and she went no contact for 90 days or so. She decided to get back into contact because her current relationship is not giving her everything she wants.

Texting and emailing back and forth when I look carefully at one of the emails. It has my em address in parenthesis and next to it the contact name is Catherine. I confronted her about it and she said that it was best to be circumspect because her current man would flip if he found out.

Day or two later something snapped in me. I have had problems in the past with lying. Performance based relationships gave me the excuse to lie and I did so. I lost a great deal of myself and who I am trying to please others. To the point that I have little left and my life is simple. Having so little to protect, I have decided to change.

Instead of lying, I will say that I am unwilling to answer that. I will not engage in behaviors or place myself in situations where I feel the need to protect things, assets, ego, or relationships.

I have learned to live alone but now I choose to live with myself....

so from a man name Catherine, I thank my ex for a gift she will never know its true value.

I pray to have the strength to not talk to her, cut contact, and walk this road where I can get true value of whom I am with self respect.

Thank you alonelylife, you have helped more than you now also.

CHeers

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Bravo!

It makes me wonder. Near the end of our relationship, she ended up putting passwords on things that never had them. I had them on my laptops but I had always had them. She pointed that out and I did not think much about it until all this time after when Catherine came to be born.

I laid in bed today, alone, and stretched under warm blankets. it was a great feeling and probably will be the highlight of my day. Sad in comparison to others but their will be very little if any drama today. I am grateful for that...

I wish you all the best in keeping it to no contact. I don't think you should continue talking to her... she's obviously only going to be around when it's convenient for her, where in this case, things aren't looking well in her current relationship. And having to sneak around with "Catherine", that's just not right, I don't think. Stay strong and stay true to yourself, I'm glad you've come to those realisations by yourself.

Thanks. It was only back in September that I got a phone call with her crying to the effect of who will want me. She has a man in her life that she still sees and does this to him. I can imagine what she was doing to me at the end of our relationship.

I find myself having to be deliberate in conversations that is how easy it was for me to just embellish....

In the end, I am responsible for my happiness

BadGuy said:

I think women are more shady then men ... of coarse that's coming from a man's point of view

I can also understand why women could be fearful of a guys reaction to something like that
But I don't understand putting up with it on the females part

I know I am in females cell phones as something other than my name

Click to expand...

I dunno, I know enough shady guys out there who've done some messed up stuff. I had a friend in high school who would only date girls he knew were "easy". Now grant you that is high school and teenage hormones but I never did anything like that. I had more respect for myself and others.

To the OP, this girl renaming you as Catherine is pretty sneaky. Sure some people can get jealous of their mate talking to a person of the opposite sex, but that's wrong. Good for you for not wanting that kind of behaviour in your life.

I make no bones about it. I was not a good person in the past and still may not be but I want to improve. Honesty would help me get there for my own sake. If others see it fine but if not then in the end I can be comfortable with myself

Having peace of mind involves staying true to your own values and saying "no" to what you think isn't right to do. I'm glad you're doing it now. Hopefully, you will see the positive influence of this in your life generally.

I have the same idea as others, that you shouldn't talk to her, because what she's doing isn't right.

Alone By Faults said:

It makes me wonder. Near the end of our relationship, she ended up putting passwords on things that never had them. I had them on my laptops but I had always had them. She pointed that out and I did not think much about it until all this time after when Catherine came to be born.

I laid in bed today, alone, and stretched under warm blankets. it was a great feeling and probably will be the highlight of my day. Sad in comparison to others but their will be very little if any drama today. I am grateful for that...

Click to expand...

Any day devoid of a liar is a blessing.

I thought that your real name is Catherine and you are worrired about that...

Did anyone else think from the title that this thread was going to be about Alone By Faults coming out as transgender?

Paraiyar said:

Did anyone else think from the title that this thread was going to be about Alone By Faults coming out as transgender?

Click to expand...

Yes, that's why i clicked it, personally.

sorry if I the title was misleading on accident. I can not recall me being hidden as a woman in anyones contact list before. Shock must have made me ambigious..

sorry

Oh, no problem at all man, it's just the way i interpreted it. Don't worry.

... I don't have any useful comments though, sorry.

Yeah, no problem, I was just making light of my own misunderstanding.