hi i guess...

i'm lonely inside if that makes sense. sth is wrong with me but i don't know what it is and too afraid to check it out.

outsiders sees me as a loving mom & hubby adores me but i'm caged...

i am friendly as long as it's not 'can we go lunch together' or 'want to join us for etc.?' invites then i get tensed and make up thousands of reason when i'm polite or just give them the decline smile.

i envy people gathering but can't be in one myself or i feel like i'm going to faint from overcrowding or vomit from interaction.

i feel powerful when i'm playing online game but in reality i feel pathetic, weak, useless, ugly and many more negatives.

i am here coz maybe i can find someone to talk to that won't make me feel like it's an invasion...lol, this is extreme weird

so hi and sorry if this sounds messed up

Hi, welcome.

And no, it doesn't sound messed up.

Welcome to the forum

welcome to the forum

I don't think it sounds messed up. I can see myself in some of the things you have described. I hope that you find a way to cope.

Hey, welcome

Welcome to ALL

Nothing weird about how you feel

I wont go to indoor concerts .... hate flying
All because people are in my space


you say how it makes you feel but what actually happens if you do the activity that causes you anxiety

Welcome to the forum. You're not alone in how you feel.

Welcome to the forum. Like other members, I don't think what you feel sounds messed up.

thank you for the welcome greetings.

i find that i don't know where & what to write after that first post...

i browse through the threads and noticed that most have terms for what's happening to them and some threads made me feel embarrassed that i am whining about my situation as it's really not that bad from outside perspective. i'm an excellent pretender.

Another thing i realize is that most posts are from either single or young. I had heart pain reading some as i didn't know life & society can be cruel in so many different forms.

When i read one who didn't agree with how we view our own marriage life, it made me scared to reveal mine. Not sure i can take the negativity as my interpretation may not be the same.

Any ideas where to start or look into?

seliandara said:

thank you for the welcome greetings.

i find that i don't know where & what to write after that first post...

i browse through the threads and noticed that most have terms for what's happening to them and some threads made me feel embarrassed that i am whining about my situation as it's really not that bad from outside perspective. i'm an excellent pretender.

Another thing i realize is that most posts are from either single or young. I had heart pain reading some as i didn't know life & society can be cruel in so many different forms.

When i read one who didn't agree with how we view our own marriage life, it made me scared to reveal mine. Not sure i can take the negativity as my interpretation may not be the same.

Any ideas where to start or look into?

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Just do what you're more comfortable with. It's fine if you don't want to post and want only to read posts too.
Every individual situation is ok to be discussed, really. I mean there are always people worse off than us and also people in a better situation than us, it's normal. Don't feel pressured though, just take your time I think that we all need someone to talk to.. either to just vent a bit or to receive some advice or positive comments or idk..
If you want to explore a bit, I recommend starting from the Positivity forum or the Fun forum.
If you have any questions or just would like to talk, feel free to send me a private message

Welcome to ALL

Hey Seliandara, welcome to the forum.