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Long Distance Ex Talking to me again... Arguments, Laughter, Frustration.
#1
And she's... Well, she's adorable. And friendly. We're not hateful at all. It's just... like... Fire.

Fire. It sparks up and then explodes. And when I say explode I don't mean in any good way.

We always talk for a while... talk about whatever, right? Then we'll get more into it. Decent conversations, thoroughly. In my opinion anyways. Books, films, etcetera. Then I'll make a joke, and it will somehow be an insult to her very being, and of course, I won't even realize it. Then it will explode in my face.


Why is it so hard to tell a man what's wrong in this situation? I mean... it's an honest question. I'm not a threatening guy. Another ex told me I always looked things up on my phone, instead of just accepting her word. So she didn't like to discuss things because I would rather know the truth, and educate us both more?

(Factual Factoid, did you know the legs of arachnids work like hydraulics? Thanks, brain, for getting me dumped. Worth it.)

I know, I'm a douche. Sorry.

But really, I'm not exactly mean looking. Kinda fuzzy, dude. I can't speak for all men, but I can speak for quite a few who've experienced the same situation.

Just -say what you want to say.- "There's nothing more infuriating than being ready to solve any issue you have, only for you to refuse to explain the issue because I must first solve a puzzle, I'm not playing games. I'm ready to solve issues."

You and I being generic uses of either word in this case.



Anyways. We have that spark. I'd kill for her. I'd love to be her friend. I'd love to marry her one day. But if I even hint at the idea of not marrying her RIGHT THEN, I'm dead to her for a few days. What's wrong with waiting a year or two? Before signing your life away to eachother? Come on, dude. I literally refuse to marry anyone I haven't seen nude atleast a couple hundred times. And I don't even mean in a naughty way. On the toilet. I don't care. I want to get to know the person. Thoroughly. Before I promise to SHARE MY LIFE. MY. LIFE. Silly naive girl, I call her. She agrees. Because she's submissive. But not always. She has vast mood swings. Same as me. Mine go from Polite to Punch Walls. Hers, are equally as contrasting. Quiet to Atomic Bomb.

Anyways. I feel like we're both insane. And I truly admire her skills as a writer and her beauty as a human being. But I refuse to be yelled at for who I am every day for forever. And I'm not, myself, any sort of hit and quit kind of guy. I'm very picky and very monogamous, straightforward. Not uptight but, I know what I'm into, you know? I literally would probably build you a grave bare handed at 96, if I was willing to marry you at 21. Trust me.

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#2
Was this person a former member of this place? That experience sounds very familiar. Except there isn't really that awesome spark.
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#3
Have you two met in person, or is this just an on-line type relationship?

If you haven't met in person yet, I'd dial things way back until you do.

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#4
If its this hard right now IMO it wont get easier or better
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#5
Smile Idunno. Sometimes the frustration is worth the smile. But you do have a point. I don't know if she was a former member here or not.
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#6
some times communicating long distance makes things even harder
jokes ...being a smart ass ...teasing...and context dont always come across clear in text messages or emails
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#7
Sounds like you're wasting time when you could be looking for an offline relationship.
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#8
I've tried looking for an offline relationship. I tend to get the "If we hang out, it's just as friends." Line. But thank you for letting me know I'm wasting my time by trying to meet people online. ^.^ Kinda defeats the purpose of this entire forum.
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#9
(02-15-2016, 02:31 PM)Naizo Wrote: I've tried looking for an offline relationship. I tend to get the "If we hang out, it's just as friends." Line. But thank you for letting me know I'm wasting my time by trying to meet people online. ^.^ Kinda defeats the purpose of this entire forum.

That all depends on what you think is the purpose of this forum. Honest advice, or a kind form of lying to placate your feelings. The advice to find an offline relationship is a valid one. You may disagree, and that is your right, but it's still solid advice.

If I ever tried an online relationship again, it'd have to be with someone close enough for me to visit every week without significant expense. My last one was 3000 miles away, and the only thing I have to show for it is a bunch of airline miles. Also, I could not do the "quiet to atomic bomb" thing. I've been in too many fucked up situations to ever consciously try that mixture again. No, thank you.
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#10
(02-15-2016, 02:31 PM)Naizo Wrote: I've tried looking for an offline relationship. I tend to get the "If we hang out, it's just as friends." Line. But thank you for letting me know I'm wasting my time by trying to meet people online. ^.^ Kinda defeats the purpose of this entire forum.

I didn't say you were wasting time getting to know people on this forum. It looks like you're wasting time with an online relationship that will bring you lots of unhappiness. Casual online friendship is a very different thing than an online relationship in m opinion. The latter is rarely a good thing in the long run. That has been my experience with online romance and I know it has been for most others. Just calling it how I see it.
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