i feel alone

hi,mm, i dont know where to start but, here i go:
first of all , i want to say thanks for reading this
well, hi my name is juan, im a 16 old guy and im from argentina. i dont know why, but one week before the summer vacation ended, i started to feel alone, and yes, i have friends, (all males) but dk, i felt so empty, also i feel like a have a lot of love, affection, support, friendship to give to a girl. i try to avoid the feeling of having a girlfriend but, i cant.im shy talking to girls, but this year i want to have a girlfriend. i dont like to go parties, or just hang out. other thing is that every girl in my class ( or other) likes to hang out, drink alcohol, or smoke (im not kidding) and i personally dont like that kind of girls, i like the quiet/shy ones, because i think that theyre more trustworthy and faithful. how i said, i dont like to goes parties or hang out, so dont tell me "go and find a girl". but this year, i promess myself that i have to get s girlfriend, and i dont want to change myself. (this will sound strange for you) i even asked god to get me a gf, but i dont know (im christian). im not a bad person, im nice with ppl, like to help them too, i try to be a good son, friend, and brother. i dont smoke, dont drink alcohol too, i try to be a nice person everytime.i think im ready to have a gf.
sometimes when im walking from school to my home, i see a couple, and o get depressed, i feel alone. some says that the thing that you want, it comes when you needs. idk. dk what to do, help me. again, thanks for read, and , also want to apologize for my bad english

First, greetings to the community! I hope you will enjoy your stay, or at least find some answers for your questions or problems.

The problem you write here is not rare at all - in fact, many of the guys and gals actually had (or has) similar problems. Today's society reacts strangely to people who behave differently, and even try to alienate them. What you feel is not pure loneliness, but the will to be in a relationship - in your case, to find a girlfriend. But, as I mentioned it, because of who you are, and who your classmates are, you may find it hard to know people.

The bad news is, that it may be hard, and you may feel hard. The good news is, that you are not alone. Many people here feel the same way, and all they want is happiness and find someone who they can share their thoughts with, their "soul mate", or some of the others simply want a friend.

You're lucky, though. Today's technology allows you to not only find people, but to find people who're just like you! Not just this forum, but several other sites (dating sites or not) are a great way to meet new people, especially if your environment if so different from you. Also, if you don't want to meet people online, there's always the chance that you may find someone while you do what you love. For example, if you like music, you may actually join to a Music Institution. Because they teach you in groups, the price of those classes are cheap compared to the teachers who teach you and only you. Or, you can do voluntary work during a holiday. Or even more simpler: there are groups for hobbies either, like for different kind of games.

Long story short: don't worry. Just because you have no one next to you at the moment, it doesn't mean you will be forever alone. Try to find a hobby, meet with new people either local or "global" (online), do your best, and be patient. I wish you good luck in advance!

hi, thanks for the welcome m8, yea, its hard here to find the girl that i want, and i think that they doesnt exist. i tried meeting ppl online, but, didnt go very well :/. also that of hobby, i tried to learn to play guitar, i have a bro, so we went together , but only was a few girls (more olders) and the rest were guys. yea, i know that not gonna be forever alone, i think this feeling is normal at my age.mm, the best choice for me is wait, be patient. ill leave this in luck and gods hands haha. anyways, thank for answer this, i feel better now, greetings!

Lot's of my friends who have or had have girlfriends now hadn't had them when they were 16 so don't worry about it too much.

My question to you is: Do you make the effort to approach these shy girls? Because if not then you should focus on fighting your shyness because the sooner you get into the habit of approaching, the sooner you will find someone. Wish I'd been told that when I was younger. Anyway, hopefully you find someone good for you.

hi paraiyar, how i said, there are no shy girls in my school :/. the only ones are those who likes to go parties, and all that stuff. mm , i think i will try to approach to girls. thanks for your answer man

No shy girls? I doubt it man, some of them may just be acting loud to cover up the fact they are shy. I've known girls who did that.

yes, no shy girls, believe me. ive been in that school since my childhood, and i met all the girls in my class ( and for met i mean say her hi sometimes or ask her for the homework :/ ). so, i hoped that a new girl joined, but, im unlucky

Hmm, maybe take the risk of giving some of the outgoing ones a chance then, maybe they'll be more trustworthy than they seem.

Well its a litle dificult because girls in general atracted about bad guys .But i like because you are a smart boy and you dont like bitches .What i sugest you its to have confident in you because you will succed .

^Sometimes I wonder if people just assume guys are bad, because girls are attracted to them.

juancho, the girls that you say hi to or ask about homework....which ones seem most genuine? Perhaps if you focus on that trait in them, you can find comfort in approaching one about going out?

I can confirm what @Parayiar said. Just because someone behaves as THE popular girl, or (tries) to be in the group of popular girls, it doesn't mean that it's her true persona. Speaking them in private will reveal their true intentions and their true personality, their goals and overall needs in life.

paraiyar: i dont know man,i know about a girl in my class that sucked the dick of a dude ( no kidding, i know this because everyone was talking about that in school) ,and other girl just kisses with any guy that she finds :/. i dont trust in that girls.
handheart: ya, its hard to find one, and most here where i live. im confident, but , idk. thx man
amythe: mm, i know 1 or 2 girls that are like that, but i dont like her ( im not saying that im a prettiest guy, but i dont feel attracted to them).
idk, im gonna wait, and gonna forget this feeling, i think its better, and, wait for gods answers haha. thx to everyone

gluguy: ill try it, maybe is how you say haha

Saludos del otro lado de la cordillera. Paso por lo mismo aunque soy mayor (28), si quieres podemos hablar.

juancho12 said:

hi,mm, i dont know where to start but, here i go:
first of all , i want to say thanks for reading this
well, hi my name is juan, im a 16 old guy and im from argentina. i dont know why, but one week before the summer vacation ended, i started to feel alone, and yes, i have friends, (all males) but dk, i felt so empty, also i feel like a have a lot of love, affection, support, friendship to give to a girl. i try to avoid the feeling of having a girlfriend but, i cant.im shy talking to girls, but this year i want to have a girlfriend. i dont like to go parties, or just hang out. other thing is that every girl in my class ( or other) likes to hang out, drink alcohol, or smoke (im not kidding) and i personally dont like that kind of girls, i like the quiet/shy ones, because i think that theyre more trustworthy and faithful. how i said, i dont like to goes parties or hang out, so dont tell me "go and find a girl". but this year, i promess myself that i have to get s girlfriend, and i dont want to change myself. (this will sound strange for you) i even asked god to get me a gf, but i dont know (im christian). im not a bad person, im nice with ppl, like to help them too, i try to be a good son, friend, and brother. i dont smoke, dont drink alcohol too, i try to be a nice person everytime.i think im ready to have a gf.
sometimes when im walking from school to my home, i see a couple, and o get depressed, i feel alone. some says that the thing that you want, it comes when you needs. idk. dk what to do, help me. again, thanks for read, and , also want to apologize for my bad english

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That's exactly what I did through out high school. I tried not to think about girls a lot, but when you have an intense crush on someone, it becomes really tough, especially when that one girl happens to fit the description with "the one who got away".

Or in other words, that was my experience. I had my first crush prior to high school for no particular reason. The experience primarily consisted of me having fantasies with her in it, and every time I see her, I just look the other way. I wonder if she noticed that?

My second one was the most emotional, the first time I had truly had feelings for someone. The next five years became really tough after she graduated from high school (I was a freshman and she was a senior...).

In any case, I look back and I feel glad that I never talked to them. Still, the second one suffered from clinical depression at the time, and I feel like that maybe I should have. And she wasn't outgoing either.

I'll admit, I don't have relationship experience. But I think you're lucky, and I agree, perhaps you've got what it takes to establish a relationship. If you're going to have one with the quiet/shy ones, try to bring a sense of community to the relationship. You should make them feel comfortable enough to be more open about their feelings so they won't feel so alone and awkward. (the religious aspect of your personality will play a part in this. I say so because one of my parents goes to church, and being a part of communities (religious or not) or having a connection to one would be really helpful).

I would suspect that people who operate similarly to me and a lot of us here to some extent and would share similar desires. It'll be really helpful if you let go of anything people say about boys or girls in general. Ground yourself in a sense of reality. Do the same for the people you're surrounded with too.