netflixonfridaynight
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Do men think of making love as-making love or just sex? I've always had the belief that men are more physical and less emotional and that it's all the same.
Question for men...
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beautiful loser
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For me, I would say it was 85% of the time trying to please my partner, with lots of foreplay...especially massage and oral. Sure, "quickies" can be great (and to me, that is just sex), but usually I looked forward to the thought of taking my time and bringing her to orgasm. To me, that is making love, but I could be wrong.
MentatsGhoul
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It can be either, or both at the same time. I certainly could enjoy the physical aspects of sex just for the hell of it, but I can also appreciate the emotional side of doing it with someone you love and trust.
P
Paraiyar
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To me there there would be a big difference between having sex with someone I only see in a platonic light and having sex with someone I really felt strongly about. The latter would definitely rank higher as an experience for me.
user 115627
It's all so tiresome.
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Xpendable said:
Possibly because the latter statement was presented as a mere belief, not a fact. Furthermore, reading the OP's other recent thread(s) might give you insight on why that question and statement was posed in that particular manner.
Many male members already presented their stance on the matter and essentially contradicted this sweeping statement, so...that's all there is to point out. Carry on.
Triple Bogey
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all my encounters have been business transactions so I can't really answer that.
ABrokenMan
Well-known member
There is definitely a difference, at least for me. Depends on the girl / woman that I was with at the time.
Being a 40 year old virgin, maybe this won't mean much, and maybe it's not a case of a difference between sex and making love. But, I know I can go out and just 'buy' sex. Purchase the physical act. That's how I've always been told is the only way it will ever happen for me. And maybe that's kinda why the emotional aspect is important to me. I'm not talking of any great, epic love here now. Those dreams have probably faded in to just that, dreams. But, the desire, the longing, to share it with a woman who, at the very least, cares. That she wants to share this experience with me, that she has made the choice to be with me. In some ways, that even feels more important to me than the physical act of sex itself.
Maybe that's part of why I am still a virgin. I'm looking for, waiting for, someone who just doesn't exist .... and that's someone who cares.
Maybe that's part of why I am still a virgin. I'm looking for, waiting for, someone who just doesn't exist .... and that's someone who cares.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
netflixonfridaynight said:
I also have neither had a relationship nor casual sex, but I definitely want to experience the emotional side of it. In fact that's the only kind of sex I'm looking for. I'm not really interested in flings for a number of reasons. One, I don't want to compromise my standards. I want what I want and that is it, I will not settle for less. It also seems like a lot of work to go through the trouble of "gaming" someone. I'm not very good with small talk, not very witty, not much of a comedian, and unsure of how to flirt. It's never been natural to me.
I really want to connect with someone, I really want to feel like I'm getting somewhere. I want to feel like I matter to them. So yes, I definitely do care about the emotional side of it.
Menorahman
Well-known member
Sex is a biological function that releases feel-good chemicals in the brain. Calling it "making love" is a rather childish notion stemming from media.
I'd also say that women are more emotional only in the short-term irrational kind of way. Men feel deeper and for longer periods of time. There's a reason the male to female suicide rate in the US is 3 to 1, and that in 2014 7 out of 10 suicides were white males.
I'd also say that women are more emotional only in the short-term irrational kind of way. Men feel deeper and for longer periods of time. There's a reason the male to female suicide rate in the US is 3 to 1, and that in 2014 7 out of 10 suicides were white males.
there is no hope
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Never "loved" whatever that is supposed to mean.
Most men just want to know that they're doing something that's worthwhile, or trick themselves into thinking they're doing something worthwhile; that they have a purpose to be there at all. It's not just about fulfilling a biological urge unless they're addicts, which is sadly common these days. It is however more about practicality than emotion or feel... some men are just better at playing the game and relying on their instincts, which is kind of like that. I can't claim superiority because women want nothing to do with me but I definitely know fail.
Back when I tried I wanted women to be happy, but then I learned that this is actually wrong and I'd be accused of being possessive, or something like that. That was around the time I just said to hell with all of it and asked myself what I was really getting out of the exchange, and realized that I never was nor could ever be happy chasing after sexuality. It has taken a long time to break myself of the natural desire for companionship but I don't really have a choice, given what I am and where I am in the world.
Most men just want to know that they're doing something that's worthwhile, or trick themselves into thinking they're doing something worthwhile; that they have a purpose to be there at all. It's not just about fulfilling a biological urge unless they're addicts, which is sadly common these days. It is however more about practicality than emotion or feel... some men are just better at playing the game and relying on their instincts, which is kind of like that. I can't claim superiority because women want nothing to do with me but I definitely know fail.
Back when I tried I wanted women to be happy, but then I learned that this is actually wrong and I'd be accused of being possessive, or something like that. That was around the time I just said to hell with all of it and asked myself what I was really getting out of the exchange, and realized that I never was nor could ever be happy chasing after sexuality. It has taken a long time to break myself of the natural desire for companionship but I don't really have a choice, given what I am and where I am in the world.
Menorahman
Well-known member
there is no hope said:
Commit to this, you will be happier.
ardour
Well known loser
Menorahman said:
Try and talk and you'll be accused of "entitlement", being angry or whining by the very people who claim to want an end to 'toxic masculinity'. They care about the issue only as much as men can be collectively blamed for it. I would leave the race element out of it though, over 60% of America is white so it's not really a worthwhile distinction to make.
user 135067
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Menorahman said:
You speak only of sex. Making love is not the act of fornication. It is the togetherness, the holding, the sharing...those things that go all night and then linger in morning smiles.
user 135067
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netflixonfridaynight said:
It depends on the woman. I've had sex for sex's sake. That isn't really making love. It was mutual. We both only wanted the now part of sex.
I've made love. Something that you long to repeat over and over with that one person that keeps you in a spin.
I can be as emotional as the next person, but it depends on who I'm with. Friends with benefits is a great kind of relationship. It might be a kind of love but I wouldn't call it making love.
Then, nothing beats that emotional tether that keeps you from wanting to get more than a millimeter away from each other. Making love still isn't close enough.
