Feeling inadequate about being a man

What to do?
I'm 33 and I have always felt inadequate basically about my penis, since the age of 16. It led to me I guess developing a bit of a complex about it, so now that thing where you cant get erections (i'm so ******* flustered right now) is in full effect.

A couple of years ago I finally crashed after I chased a girl whom I was smitten with, and a couple of times she came onto me heavily, and being disappointed. She chased other people from then, but still hung around trying to be a friend at least.

It hurts, so much. It used to be that I held onto a "moral code" of not doing hook-ups to avoid the situation. I've had 3 relationships that lasted 2-3 years, and on the saturday just gone my older sister and brother-in-law were really pushing me to go out and meet up with a clearly single and keen friend of hers. I had to just beg them to give it up when I was pushed on why I wouldn't, and blurt out "it doesn't work anymore. It just doesn't". Than I was asked if maybe I was gay, which I'm not, but it felt insulting that if a guy doesn't want to have sex with a girl than surely you must be gay. And if I was, would that have been the best step to try help someone admit it? She is just too blunt sometimes.

I have absolutely zero desire to talk to anyone in the real world in fear of the exact situation above happening, but I am wasting away in a pool of nothingness sitting in my room day in and day out.

Does anyone know what step I could take to... fix things? I can answer questions, thanks to the confidence that the anonymity that the internet provides (hopefully, and I am dead serious I hope to god this doesn't identify me).

Edit* I've been to a doctor about erectile disfunction (that's the name of it) and have used Cialis and Viagra previously. The fact still remained at the time that I felt inadequate to satisfy my partners, which ended up being true.

I recently seen something on tv
Specialist was saying how people have an unrealistic view of sex because most have learnt from porn
A web site was started called ..."make love not porn" to show real people ...real love...in an attempt to partially educate

It sounds like your confidence, fear, expectations etc is the biggest problem

nah, i think in this case is medical. My expectations have never make me dissociate in which reality erections are more easily achieved. Stop blaming porn.

I'm going to sneak in here even though I'm a female to say kudos to the OP for being open and honest here about your issues. I think you're far more likely to get help in the real world by being frank instead of hiding.
Aside from that, both BadGuy and Xpendable could be right. Only a doctor who evaluates you can determine if you have a medical problem that can be solved medically. But there are many other issues that could be affecting the OP - psychological, etc., sometimes even religious upbringing can play a part in dysfunction.

Good luck, Johny & welcome to the forum.

-Teresa

I dont know maybe you have a trauma in you or something .I think you should ask advice from a psichologist or something

I've been feeling like this lately to the point where I'm going to ask females I know if they consider me a real man. I doubt they do.

If it is medical it is the easiest to fix.

I dont think performance or size has anything to do with being a man

Are we talking size inadequacy? If so, I don't think that matters as much as society claims. Bigger is not always better. I'm as average as they come and also have very little sex experience, yet I haven't gotten any complaints from either of the only two women I've been with.

Or performance inadequacy? I think passion and physical compatibility are likely to play a role in that. I think it will differ from partner to partner.