Variations of Introverts

I co-host a podcast with three women, and we all identify ourselves as Introverts. I am more the quiet type, but as soon as the mic goes on, you'd never know that I was an introvert. The others have variations of introversion, and I wondered if there are any introverts who can relate.

One of my friends is a manager of about 6 sales professionals. While I understand that Introverts are not necessarily shy, it is amazing that she isn't always stressed out having to deal with people the way she does.

If you self-identify as an introvert, do you have a job that forces you to be in front of a great number of people? How do you do it? Is it a draining experience?

If you don't deal with lots of people, how would you describe your particular experiences as an introvert? How do you deal with the day-to-day experiences with people?

Case said:

I co-host a podcast with three women, and we all identify ourselves as Introverts. I am more the quiet type, but as soon as the mic goes on, you'd never know that I was an introvert.

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I am an extroverted introvert. Though introverted I work as a spokesperson and actually own the room when I am in charge. I can talk when I have to very well but I would prefer not to do it in the first place.

When I was an intern my boss wanted me to give a speech to a chamber of commerce. I blew every practice in an attempt to get out of it. But once she said I was doing it no matter, I grabbed the headset and power point and did amazing. She was so amazed she e-mailed the firm to say how amazed she was.

I do think that every introvert can become extroverted for a while. It is just a matter of practice. When I am extroverted I feel like it is an act. This actually makes significant problems for me because a lot of extroverts see my act and presume I am like that. Then they are hurt and upset when they may see me as a more introverted person. They think I am angry or some such.

Case said:

If you self-identify as an introvert, do you have a job that forces you to be in front of a great number of people? How do you do it? Is it a draining experience?

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I'm an introvert and work in customer service, gotta talk to people all day long. At first it was very draining and challenging, I felt off all the time and constantly needed lots of me time after work.

Now I've learned to turn those daily interactions into an enjoyment. I think I changed the way I think about them. Like instead of feeling forced, I take it as an opportunity to poke fun or make jokes with my clients and have a laugh. That way it doesn't feel as draining and lightens it up.

While I have not found a way to actually enjoy being among groups of people (3+) and to socialize within them, I have learned to articulate myself for the past 4-5 years or so. I used to be terrible at giving presentations and the likes until I started relying on my abilities and just improvised. Then I had many teachers praise me for my rhetorics all throughout my apprenticeship...but jeez, I still sweat like a pig in most social situations. My body just refuses to follow my focused mind.

Since my job involves dealing with marketing peeps, some talking is part of the job. Though within (appreciated) limitations. I don't think I'll ever "like" dealing with people, but I'll do it anyway because it's necessary.

And like Lady above me, I use these opportunities to spread some merriment if I feel like it...after all there is a comedian buried deep inside of me somewhere. Might surface after countless hours of boring me.

The more I think of it, the more I think I might not be an introvert as much as I'm just incompatible with 99% of people, which makes me act very introverted. That's not to say that I hate most people, far from it. Sometimes, I can't hold a conversation with people I actually like. It's just very rare for me to click with someone, but when I do, I can open up very quickly. I also tend to be quite selectively introverted. There's a lot of topics that I just feel are unnecessary to talk about, like gossiping about every day crap and taking about sexual stuff with anyone who you aren't going to ever have sex with.

MentatsGhoul said:

The more I think of it, the more I think I might not be an introvert as much as I'm just incompatible with 99% of people, which makes me act very introverted.

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It may be that you are not an introvert (it's not up to me to decide) unless you feel physically and mentally drained after being in contact with these people.

All the extroverts I know are energized by groups, parties, loads of social contact, and it's their alone time that drains them. For me, all of this takes a toll on my psyche, my energy level, and I feel exhausted after dealing with lots of people.

I used to work retail, so I have been in front of loads of people before and it did not drain me because, like some have said, I am playing the role of "retail worker," but I still felt a bit drained at the end of the day. The extroverts I worked with felt like working out and running a mile or staying up all night after a shift, while I just wanted to sit in a room and quietly read a book, or (when I was dating) have a quiet conversation with my GF.

It is very interesting to see to see all of the different ways people define their own introversion/extroversion.

I'm an introvert with a low need for social interaction, but like it for short durations, especially when I'm feeling good. At certain times, I actually crave interaction and can feel depressed and lonely when I don't get it. So, most people who have interacted with me and seen me shut down a few times have actually thought that I was "moody."

I have a group I sometimes go hiking with. One one hike, I was focused on my footing going through leaves and almost talked to no one so the leader actually asked me if everything was alright. On another hike, I made friends with the people sharing my carpool and with a small group, I was included in the conversation but was able to sit back and relax and let other people talk if I needed a break. The people I was with asked me if I planned on going to any other hikes and invited me along. So, I know I am likeable, but I know I'm not consistent with how I act to most people's mystification.

If I had one good friend and one good romantic partner, I think I'd be quite happy.

I can definitely relate. I am an introvert in a very public job. I work as a supervisor with a childhood education program. This entails meeting parents that have children with special needs of some kind and assisting them in certain aspects of their child's life. Usually it is convincing them that they need this assistance first. Then I teach teachers 4 times a year. These are groups of 250-300 people. And then finally, it is "cold calling" medical professionals and county workers to gain support.mthis is an effort daily that I must talk myself into doing every day. By the end of the day, I am exhausted! I go home to regenerate.
Weekends I usually don't leave my home. I am not married so it is just me and the animals. I get very lonely but I just don't have it in me to go out after being "on" all day.

If you self-identify as an introvert, do you have a job that forces you to be in front of a great number of people? How do you do it? Is it a draining experience?
I'm definitely an introvert and I've to take phone calls at work which I dislike... :shy: I have own room though which is great but I need to work with co-workers also, because the job can't be done without others doing their part. It's not draining really because I don't get many calls in a day, only very few.

If you don't deal with lots of people, how would you describe your particular experiences as an introvert? How do you deal with the day-to-day experiences with people?
I just want to be ALONE after work, haha! I love my own space without being with others all the time. It's honestly hard to live as being an introvert in today's world because society thinks highly of extroverts and values them over introverts. You need to be socializing, energetic, talkative, super ''giddy'' and positive etc. but the truth is that people are different and some are more listeners than talkers, this world needs everyone's individual skills.

I can relate to this as well.

My career (unwillingly) was in catering. Started in small restaurants in my home country then moved to Cyprus and after that to UK. Ended up being a manager of 100+ seating pub/carvery/restaurant. Managing more than 22 staff per shift. I pulled the plug last year.

The way it worked with me in the beginning was that I needed the money to cover some family expenses that needed to be taken care ASAP (hence the travelling). Didn't really reflect much on my own state (being content or just exhausted from work) for the first 6 months since I came in UK. After the main issue was taken care of, it seemed that the people I worked for back then liked me and from there in 3 years time I got promoted 7 times. During those years it was a constant internal battle of what I wanted to do instead of what I'm good at. Hence reflecting a little bit on the introvert vs. extrovert part. Switching between them became natural... but after some time it became more exhausting.

Right now I'm in a job where I can decide if I want to talk to my fellow workmates or not. I really think that the saying - "It's good to learn how to adapt to new environments and people, but It's a mastery to teach them how they adapt to you." is working pretty well with what I'm doing right now. They know that sometimes I like to switch off and I don't be want to be bothered, other times when I feel like it we joke around.

Case said:

MentatsGhoul said:

The more I think of it, the more I think I might not be an introvert as much as I'm just incompatible with 99% of people, which makes me act very introverted.

Click to expand...

It may be that you are not an introvert (it's not up to me to decide) unless you feel physically and mentally drained after being in contact with these people.

All the extroverts I know are energized by groups, parties, loads of social contact, and it's their alone time that drains them. For me, all of this takes a toll on my psyche, my energy level, and I feel exhausted after dealing with lots of people.

I used to work retail, so I have been in front of loads of people before and it did not drain me because, like some have said, I am playing the role of "retail worker," but I still felt a bit drained at the end of the day. The extroverts I worked with felt like working out and running a mile or staying up all night after a shift, while I just wanted to sit in a room and quietly read a book, or (when I was dating) have a quiet conversation with my GF.

It is very interesting to see to see all of the different ways people define their own introversion/extroversion.

Click to expand...

I do feel drained after talking to most people, but then, everyone feels drained after talking to someone who they just can't find much common ground with, including very sociable people. It's just hard to see, because the average extrovert will almost always find someone in a group they can hold a conversation with.

I've met many self-identifying introverts who want their space even from close friends after not long though, which doesn't really apply to me. There's people out there I could spend 24 hours a day with and still feel comfortable. Granted, that's like... 2 or 3 people I've met in my lifetime, but still. I just wouldn't care about needing space as much if I met more people like that. And I do feel like I crave attention and social interaction after being alone for a bit, just not necessarily the type most people engage in. So... I guess it's harder to figure out which category you fit in than it seems. I don't really think it's so black and white.

Case said:

If you self-identify as an introvert, do you have a job that forces you to be in front of a great number of people? How do you do it? Is it a draining experience?

If you don't deal with lots of people, how would you describe your particular experiences as an introvert? How do you deal with the day-to-day experiences with people?

Click to expand...

Not really...since I don't have a job yet. XD

I'm usually aloof when I'm alone. I rarely talk to people since they rarely talk to me. I don't converse or gossip much either. Nobody stares at me; whatever I guess.

I don't think the vast majority of people can truly be categorized as one or the other; we're all usually in the gray area about most things. Whether we identify as introverts or extroverts, as a species we are social creatures. We need some amount of interaction with others. The amount of interaction and time spent socializing that we want/need varies between individuals, we all fall somewhere on the spectrum. I used to be more extroverted during a certain period in my life, but for most of my life I've been on the other end of the scale. Now I'd probably say I'm an introvert who can definitely appear an extrovert at times, and I am in a profession that has me come into contact with a lot of people. It can be extremely draining at times, and quite honestly, I'm still not completely used to it. I am getting better and slightly more comfortable, but it's a process that takes time. I tend to deal with it by spending time alone when I can, as much as I can.

Case said:

One of my friends is a manager of about 6 sales professionals. While I understand that Introverts are not necessarily shy, it is amazing that she isn't always stressed out having to deal with people the way she does.

If you self-identify as an introvert, do you have a job that forces you to be in front of a great number of people? How do you do it? Is it a draining experience?

If you don't deal with lots of people, how would you describe your particular experiences as an introvert? How do you deal with the day-to-day experiences with people?

Click to expand...

I like that you're saying there are variations on introversion, because most things I read about introverts and most forums I've been to don't seem to understand or mention this.

I've had different types of jobs with varying degrees of dealing with people. Being a manager or a sales professional would be so difficult and stressful for me. I have worked in tech support, and that was incredibly stressful for me. It's just people coming at you from all directions all day--needy people, at that, and it'd be good if all they were WAS needy and not needy and angry. I was good at it, but I used to spend lunch breaks hiding from people (like, literally locked myself in an empty conference room sometimes), used to dread going to work, had migraines by lunch time and would just ignore people who spoke to me after work because I didn't have the energy for anymore interaction. I took pay cuts to get away from that type of work, significant pay cuts.

I tried retail for less than a week, and I quit. It was just overwhelming, especially since the training sucked, which meant I was constantly fielding questions I didn't know the answer to. The main thing that helps me as an introvert in interaction-heavy jobs is KNOWING WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT/DOING. If I don't know what I'm talking about or doing, I can't hang. Even working in tech support got easier after months of just fumbling, but I had gotten to the point where I was just burned out on worrying about potential confrontations with angry clients.

I work overnight now, so I barely deal with people. I find that I want to do more when I get off work, i.e. Go places and talk to people more. My parents have asked me several times after work if I've taken something because they say I am more chatty. They are now complaining that I talk too much. I've never heard this before, LOL.

When I am extroverted I feel like it is an act. This actually makes significant problems for me because a lot of extroverts see my act and presume I am like that. Then they are hurt and upset when they may see me as a more introverted person. They think I am angry or some such.

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I have this issue, as well. I am different with people I know or accept as friends than with people I don't, and it makes people think I am stuck-up or just don't like them.