3.10.16

About two weeks ago i cut myself after a year and a half of not doing it. It is pretty big on my left arm, my forearm, not my tricep like last time. I was feeling like the biggest worthless piece of honeysuckle. I couldn't watch anything because everyone on tv is better than me, i couldn't listen to any music because all the musicians are better than me, and I certainly could not talk to anyone because I truly believe no one will understand. I never thought that as a grown man i would be all by myself, with no money, and no one in my life but my mother. A grown man with so much torment and cuts all over his body. It never ended. Everyone I knew from years back got better...but I never did, and don't see that anything will change. I feel like a lost soul, a soul who will wander around for ever and ever.

Those people on TV are fake. Those musicians in the songs are liars. Money and "success" doesn't buy them happiness. Comparing yourself to these idols is not helpful. Look at what you are surrounded with. If you are surrounded with negative media, images, people, mentalities, then you will take on that negativity. Regardless of whatever situation you find yourself in, feed your mind with positive and loving things. You can change your life but not when locked in a negative pattern.

I have been to see musicians live and was really disappointed .... goes to show you how much editing goes on in the studio

Some of the stuff I see on TV makes me think ...wow they are messed


Not to throw stones at anyone but if you compare yourself to a homeless person ... person in jail....
Thinking your life is pretty awesome

BadGuy said:

I have been to see musicians live and was really disappointed .... goes to show you how much editing goes on in the studio

Some of the stuff I see on TV makes me think ...wow they are messed


Not to throw stones at anyone but if you compare yourself to a homeless person ... person in jail....
Thinking your life is pretty awesome

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Point taken! thanks, you are right.

Hey E!
Sorry to hear you've been going through a bad time. It seems like I remember you were temporarily banned a few weeks ago after a few negative posts that I thought were out of character - I could see something was wrong. Was that around the time you cut yourself?
I don't have any words of advice of wisdom except that we're here and we're listening.

On a side note - I see what your screen name means. I always thought it was supposed to be like Lily, the flower lol

-Teresa

SofiasMami said:

Hey E!
Sorry to hear you've been going through a bad time. It seems like I remember you were temporarily banned a few weeks ago after a few negative posts that I thought were out of character - I could see something was wrong. Was that around the time you cut yourself?
I don't have any words of advice of wisdom except that we're here and we're listening.

On a side note - I see what your screen name means. I always thought it was supposed to be like Lily, the flower lol

-Teresa

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Yea, I was drunk and feeling rage.

I know people who are have a lot of money and they are not happy trust me and people who dont have so much and they live happy .Dont dramatise so much and go to positive thinking ,think that you are happy you will atract bad things good things will come in your life etc