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Alone By Faults

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Funny how it starts on April Fool's Day....

Only events that I plan on breaking it for are

1. Father's retirement party...good man and he deserves recognition
2. Board meeting for non profit I am on....


Other than that, I can not see other than business emails and Skype PM's, a real reason to talk to anyone....been courting this idea of trying to be a hermit for 30 days or so for some time. Final straw came in email response times...when people need you boy do they answer quickly...if not then they just dont reply....

Occasions that I go out to store for supplies, I will just point to throat, have pen and paper, and write throat is sore...painful to talk...

will blog here....and participate in this forum on occasion...the others for my varied interests I am giving up both posting and reading.

Wish me good fortune in this
 
LOL I appreciate a good sense of humor. If i suspected this could be the case then I would fret. However money, love, and chance ebb and flow. Abundant supply is out there and me being out of circulation for a while does not equate to missing out.
 
Preparing for the big day tomorrow. going to get more groceries tonight as well as a few books from the library..

have the two requirement appt's.....

key is to have structure and try to prepare for chance encounters and getting out of them...changed exercise route...not going by familiar places and only conducting business emails...

here will be my outlet..
 
ABF, I'm actually looking forward to this "experiment"...my term, mind you. Definitely keep a blog of your progress. Good luck! *fingers crossed you run into the extremely talkative, and understanding, love of your life* :p Kidding!!
 
Almost 6PM...


Day One saw me go on a walk for exercise and mindful awareness when I felt my jaw clenching. There should be no pressure as all the bills for this month are paid or very manageable. Decided to make a list of what makes me happy...not what does not hurt me...key difference between the two...

Found extra online work today on subjects I like so that was a bonus.

Reggae music uplifting...was not perfect in non spying on people...looked at some news sights and an ex's Facebook....


No people contact today and it was good.
 
Actually, what you're doing sounds kind of like a vacation :)
I stay off the web and social media, though, when I'm vacation. May I gently suggest un-friending that ex - did you at least play an April Fool's prank on your ex while you were on Facebook? :D

-Teresa
 
It could be considered a vacation....trying to figure out what is what..

The peeking in is something I can definitely not do...only pulls the band aid off too soon...not enough time to just heal...

we will see how this second day transpires....3:15 AM and my body told me to wake up....
 
Good luck my friend. I am considering something similar. I can't deal with 99% of the people I meet on a daily basis. And I find myself healing after a weekend only to find myself miserable again by Wednesday. So I feel like learning to be a hermit is important.
 
I feel with you LonelySutton...most of the people I just dont want to deal with otherwise.

Rented a dvd called the Martian with Matt Damon....person left alone on Mars after freak accident. He decided to fight his situation and make the best of it. One hour through it so far.....

Actually helped me with setting goals instead of just avoiding pain...

Day 2 has the NCAAM basketball games on tonight...Manadotry work to pay bills are done and looking for a few extra assignments online but that would be cake.

CHeers
 
Woke up Day Three and what an emotional mess. Jaw is tight with little to nothing wrong in my life. It appears that even i I were to reduce my routine to near nothing, I would find something to complain about. Abundance is in any of our lives if we just view it that way.

Actually disappointed that I am my own enemy to happiness
 
I feel like I am just killing time. This is something I definitely want to do but someone called in a favor. They asked me to help out for three hours a day for five days next week in a volunteer fashion. They are as nice as people can be.....I do not trust anyone as I know they are the type that is kind from a distance....get close or need something and they will abandon...

However, I feel it is the right thing to volunteer my time and give back..

so until Friday the 15th it is treading water....For certain it is the right move...just have to be patient...

If I can not be content with myself when I am alone then I am really not going to be good for anyone else
 
I just dont learn.

Client owns a few companies. One of his sent out a mass email promotion to around 400 or so clients. Instead of bcc, he hit cc which meant that everyone that got the email could see everyone else. Of course, concerns about privacy caused some of them to reach out and complain.

I contacted the owner and left a message which was received and nothing...

another sign that this outside world just does not care and I am better off without it...

I know this and still...

cant wait til after friday when my outside appointments go down to nothing...
 
A clear day today.

On a business front, I have decided to just send invoices out denoting the date when business is concluded. Used to send updates, and reminders but just going this way. They will reply or not. Also it was not in my job but I used to contact superiors when sites were down or problems were on the horizon. I dont get replies when I send out the emails so this just tells me not to.

Personal front is where I desire to be left alone is now greater than having a fun time at a sports bar or such. It is to the point where I have I think one or two beers in the fridge and I will pour them down the drain. If I have one to watch the ball game then I regress and start to feel warm and fuzzy thoughts about the world. It is not like that and frankly now seems an escape from reality....

Here I am going to update on M, T, and Th of next week. Same days as the volunteer work since I have to be in contact with the outside world. I can do my work for my bills without any interaction. I will answer Skype texts or emails but will not send them out except for invoices. Questions I will seek answers on the net or solve by myself.

I feel good about this
 
One of the few interactions that I have to deal with that is necessary are deadlines with my clients....I send out invoices with due dates and such....Not even an email back acknowledging it...doesnt make them bad just probably busy...

it sets off a fear that I allow too much room in my life....

so to be proactive, I am putting in extra work to have the bills and such covered in case they just drop me....irrational fear but by being proactive I protect myself and I have extra savings when the worst does not come through

Not so much pessimism as much as being proactive in knowing what relaxes me more
 
Have not even begun to get really down to it...have a client skirting payment discussions....

I do not even want to hear another person's voice...

Sat 2pm to MOnday 2pm....just insturmental music..no tv....no contact....just stay on my property....
 

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