My mind rips and the mess spills out.

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JoeVegas

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My mind rips and the mess spills out.

No drugs. I timed it on purpose this way. Previous dreams of cleaning up, forgotten. I resent my hopes.

The system has two degrees of freedom, the linear independent construct of the third vector yields another plane. That can't be right.

Where is she? Who's she with? Is she happy?

My stomach is in a knot. That familiar feeling where I'm so hungry that I don't want to eat. Smoke another cigarette, tear away a bit more.

He has always replied immediately. Nights surely must be the best time for business. Why tonight? The universe has a sick sense of humor.

Sadness and anger tug for my attention. Break myself. I'm a disgusting monster in a beautiful world. Break something else. Reality is corrupted and toxic, add to the chaos.

Perception shapes reality. I squint, but see nothing sacred.

This ceaseless clarity haunts me. It endlessly resonates with memories I've forgotten to forget. I must alter the frequency, or the system will fail.

Happy Birthday to me. I've given this night to myself, wrapped in good intentions. No one could hurt me as I do.

Drip, drip, drip. The thoughts trickle out, stealing a moment that could've held peace.

How can I find respite from myself?
 

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