Feeling bad about myself

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IceCastles

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I'm really enjoying my time with my baby girl but I can't help but feel like I wish I had other moms or women to talk to and to go out etc.

This is just a long rambling post.

If you've read my previous posts, I have this problem of people inviting me out or asking to meet, but then disappearing or standing me up or cancelling (multiple times). I made the mistake of thinking colleagues were friends, but they are not. I got messages about asking me to visit but given how in the past they've disappeared on me many times, I feel that they are just saying that to be chatty but not meaning it. They aren't really my friends because they make me feel bad and I've caught them gossiping badly about me.

Recently I was about to meet a fellow mom and she no-showed but then messaged me she had no time for new friends. I still have her on my facebook and see her happy photos with her friends.

I am also a student and even though I'm friendly, people do not want to take it to a friendship level. I see that people already have their friends.

I'm also in a meet-up group but people are shouting over each other and I can barely get a word in. I DO talk and can manage conversations but it is hard to get a word in if all of the loud people don't even stop to catch a breath. I feel like Silent Bob there. I did try to talk but the only way I could get a word in was interrupting which I think makes me look rude but it is hard to talk to people that love to hear themselves. What do I do!?!

I feel like I'm the odd one out and I wonder why no one likes me enough to put in some effort. I feel very unlikable and very bad about myself. At 18 I started to really try to work out my social problems but now at almost 30 I realize that maybe it's not them, it's me. :(
 
I know it might not be the same, but I'm a mom, so if you want, you can always PM me just to chat or come check out the chat room. :)

As for the rest of it. I don't think it's all you, I think it's a bit of both, TBH. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying anything is wrong with you, I simply feel everything isn't ALL about one person. It's very often the fault of you and others together. I don't think you've met the right group of people yet, but keep looking, they're out there :)
 
IceCastles said:
I feel like I'm the odd one out and I wonder why no one likes me enough to put in some effort. I feel very unlikable and very bad about myself. At 18 I started to really try to work out my social problems but now at almost 30 I realize that maybe it's not them, it's me. :(

So clearly we have a lot in common. I also feel like no one likes me enough to put in any effort and wonder if it isn't me.

A couple of years ago I did a diet plan that had a once per week class. I presumed I would make some friends. I thought, surely, I would find people with stuff in common because we were all there to fight the weight loss battle. Nope. I couldn't stick to anyone. No friendships formed at all. I found a shocking amount of people came with someone else... husband, daughter, friend, and if they didn't... they were often late to class or simply had no desire to be friends at all. I thought the program should have looked into pairing people off for support. It was really shocking and depressing. I felt like I was in high school all over again.

I also made the mistake of thinking colleagues were friends. They are not. But I feel like I spend a lot of energy dealing with these faux friendships I am forced to have with them because we are in the same general area.
 
IceCastles said:
I'm really enjoying my time with my baby girl but I can't help but feel like I wish I had other moms or women to talk to and to go out etc.

This is just a long rambling post.

If you've read my previous posts, I have this problem of people inviting me out or asking to meet, but then disappearing or standing me up or cancelling (multiple times). I made the mistake of thinking colleagues were friends, but they are not. I got messages about asking me to visit but given how in the past they've disappeared on me many times, I feel that they are just saying that to be chatty but not meaning it. They aren't really my friends because they make me feel bad and I've caught them gossiping badly about me.

Recently I was about to meet a fellow mom and she no-showed but then messaged me she had no time for new friends. I still have her on my facebook and see her happy photos with her friends.

I am also a student and even though I'm friendly, people do not want to take it to a friendship level. I see that people already have their friends.

I'm also in a meet-up group but people are shouting over each other and I can barely get a word in. I DO talk and can manage conversations but it is hard to get a word in if all of the loud people don't even stop to catch a breath. I feel like Silent Bob there. I did try to talk but the only way I could get a word in was interrupting which I think makes me look rude but it is hard to talk to people that love to hear themselves. What do I do!?!

I feel like I'm the odd one out and I wonder why no one likes me enough to put in some effort. I feel very unlikable and very bad about myself. At 18 I started to really try to work out my social problems but now at almost 30 I realize that maybe it's not them, it's me. :(


Where are you from Icecastles? I know it's a long shot but there are probably (such as myself) lots of ladies here looking for friends to hang out with, I love girls nights and days :) I love to entertain but sadly haven't made any friends in my new town yet to do so.
 
Sadly, for some (including me) the prospect of making close friends becomes more difficult as the years pass.

One's confidence goes as does the ability to trust in people after too many bad experiences.

However, there are a lot of lonely people out there, and most of them (like me) are like nesting birds on the moors - quiet and difficult to spot.

Once, I had an elderly neighbour whom I thought disliked me - but then she told me that she was very lonely and hoped that I would talk with her more.

She always seemed very guarded and proud, but I realised that behind the facade was someone who wanted to reach out for friendship.

She was a Spanish beauty in her day, with lots of tales to tell of Spain and it's ways...

So please don't dismiss the quiet, seemingly uncharismatic types - we have a lot to offer when you get to know us!
 
perhaps it's for the best that some of these people aren't in your life, they might have caused more stress being around you
 

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