How do you make friends?

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ihabl

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I look back and realize that I've never really had any friends. Today I am involved in church, have lived by neighbors for 10 years and have worked in the same place for 15 years. I've realized that I may be friendly with people I interact with but they are not my friends. How is this done, making friends?
 
For me it's just a matter of learning about the person and seeing if a friendship develops from there. I don't know, I guess I don't really have a problem making a new friend provided I can gel with the person. Relationships are another story.
 
You look at their faces and ask them about their positive qualities and qualifications. If it's all agreeable to you, then you give them a sticker label that says 'friend' and tell them to never take it off in your vicinity.

But seriously, it's just about talking to people, as many people as you can, and if you can hold a conversation with them, and if you mutually enjoy each other's company then that could initiate a friendship. While more often than not it probably won't work, the people who you do make friends with could surprise you if you give everyone a chance equally. You may end up being friends with someone you never thought it likely that you would have anything in common with, let alone be friends with.
 
All good advice, I guess my success rate is not very good. I have a hard time connecting with others and/or others have a hard time connecting with me. I'll keep trying, friendships is a challenge for me.
 
Ihabl, what do you think it is that is making you have a hard time connecting with others? Maybe if you could tell us a bit more about that then we could give more advice.
 
well you muts be a socialize and a happy person and you should be where people are and speak with them
 
For me, i don't have any trouble just chatting it up with people. However, i find it difficult to go from acquaintance to actual friend whom you call and do things with. How do you take that next step. And, i live in a small town and people have grown up here and i didn't so they already have tons of friends and relatives and really dont' need anymore friends. Not sure how to break into some of these groups? And everyone is busy with work, kids, life, etc. How do you move into the friendship zone beyond acquaintance?
 
delledonne11 said:
[...] How do you move into the friendship zone beyond acquaintance?

I don't think it's going to happen unless the other person wants or needs a friend delledonne.

If two people want to be friends I think it would progress naturally, with eagerness on both sides.

But, as you say, most people with established friendships and a good social life just don't have the time and inclination to nurture a new friendship.

It isn't easy is it?
 
Personally, I don't think you can have too many friends. More friends are always welcome, regardless of the circumstances.

I would think you just need to be present. Go to the activities or whatever that are open to the public. Maybe try to form some kind of club that everyone can enjoy or have a party for something. Invite them places and keep trying. That's all you can really do.
 
TheRealCallie said:
... I would think you just need to be present [...] and keep trying. That's all you can really do.

Having a positive outlook and being proactive is probably the key to it.
 
I once went to these street dance classes, people would randomly smile at me and say things to me, made friends too easily, I thought this was great. Then I realised 90% of people there were "simple-minded" people, as in people with learning difficulties. Not saying I hate these people, I still keep in touch, but need to be around people and be friends with those who are on the same conscious level as me, it's nice to have a cat, but it's not a human.

No offense to those whoa are simple-minded, but I will never sugar-coat anything, that's not me.
 
The One said:
I once went to these street dance classes, people would randomly smile at me and say things to me, made friends too easily, I thought this was great. Then I realised 90% of people there were "simple-minded" people, as in people with learning difficulties. Not saying I hate these people, I still keep in touch, but need to be around people and be friends with those who are on the same conscious level as me, it's nice to have a cat, but it's not a human.

No offense to those whoa are simple-minded, but I will never sugar-coat anything, that's not me.

Wow.....

Just because someone is "simple minded," as you put it, doesn't mean they aren't human and it doesn't mean they aren't intelligent.

I know MANY people who have NO disabilities and are less conscious than disabled people.
 
TheRealCallie said:
The One said:
I once went to these street dance classes, people would randomly smile at me and say things to me, made friends too easily, I thought this was great. Then I realised 90% of people there were "simple-minded" people, as in people with learning difficulties. Not saying I hate these people, I still keep in touch, but need to be around people and be friends with those who are on the same conscious level as me, it's nice to have a cat, but it's not a human.

No offense to those whoa are simple-minded, but I will never sugar-coat anything, that's not me.

Wow.....

Just because someone is "simple minded," as you put it, doesn't mean they aren't human and it doesn't mean they aren't intelligent.

I know MANY people who have NO disabilities and are less conscious than disabled people.

I dont think he meant it bad.

I would say its normal you wont friends you can have a conversation with and tell jokes to. On your own level not the level has a child.

To be friends with someone you have to help cross a road and cook for because they have got the mental capacity of a 10 year old or younger is not rally an even friendship.

Still it does say a lot about him that he would still remain friends with them.
That to me shows his decent and not judgmental. It does not mean that he should feel guilty for wanting friends with people his own aged thinking has well tho.

I just thought you where a bit harsh on him and maybe misunderstood what he was trying to say.
 
Serenia said:
Wrong thread :(

lol ive done that be for.

Ended up posting about something I wasn't intending too :p

Its like walking into the wrong toilets lol
Fist time I did that I was like wow its posh in here, theirs a carpet and it smells nice. Then I was like oh honeysuckle its the ladies lol

*backs out doing a whistle*
 
Bluey said:
TheRealCallie said:
The One said:
I once went to these street dance classes, people would randomly smile at me and say things to me, made friends too easily, I thought this was great. Then I realised 90% of people there were "simple-minded" people, as in people with learning difficulties. Not saying I hate these people, I still keep in touch, but need to be around people and be friends with those who are on the same conscious level as me, it's nice to have a cat, but it's not a human.

No offense to those whoa are simple-minded, but I will never sugar-coat anything, that's not me.

Wow.....

Just because someone is "simple minded," as you put it, doesn't mean they aren't human and it doesn't mean they aren't intelligent.

I know MANY people who have NO disabilities and are less conscious than disabled people.

I dont think he meant it bad.

I would say its normal you wont friends you can have a conversation with and tell jokes to. On your own level not the level has a child.

To be friends with someone you have to help cross a road and cook for because they have got the mental capacity of a 10 year old or younger is not rally an even friendship.

Still it does say a lot about him that he would still remain friends with them.
That to me shows his decent and not judgmental. It does not mean that he should feel guilty for wanting friends with people his own aged thinking has well tho.

I just thought you where a bit harsh on him and maybe misunderstood what he was trying to say.

No, I don't think I was harsh enough with him. I have friends/family that are disabled and they are great people and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Don't judge a person just because of some messed up stereotype. You don't know them, you don't know what they are like or what kind of mental capacity they have. Maybe if people would stop judging others based on their own perceptions, the world would be a better place and people would have more friends.
 
TheRealCallie said:
No, I don't think I was harsh enough with him. I have friends/family that are disabled and they are great people and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Don't judge a person just because of some messed up stereotype. You don't know them, you don't know what they are like or what kind of mental capacity they have. Maybe if people would stop judging others based on their own perceptions, the world would be a better place and people would have more friends.

I am disabled myself. But there is a difference. I can hold down a grown up conversation. What he is saying is there mentally disabled.
There is nothing wrong with being friends with a mentally disabled person. But if that person is only got the mental capacity of a 5 year old then its not going to be surprising that a 19 year old would wont other friends to go out and do stuff with.
Am sure if there where just physically disabled he might feel differently. But with a physical disabled person you can have a grown up conversation.

I dont see how he was judging them at all.
Its honorable that you fight for what you believe in. But I do think you got the wrong end of what he was trying to say.
I have seen some of his posts so I know he would be more then capable to say himself. So ill leave this one here.

BTW if I ever need a friend I hope they would stick up for me like you :)
 

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