Only one from church small group not invited to wedding

I am so upset, a couple at my church and in my small group got married and had this wedding and invited everyone from my small group except me. I know this because I saw pictures of everyone from my small group at the wedding. This was after I talked to my pastor about whether it was open invite bc I didnt get an invitation and he said it was invitation only and that I wasnt the only one not invited. But looking at the pictures I see that isnt true. So then I messaged him and told him I saw everyone from small group that goes regurarly there. He listed a few names of people that weren't invited, but they don't come very often (with the exception of this one guy and this girl who just started coming a few few months ago). That doesnt matter to me because I have been going regularly, Im a girl and have been going for a long time and I was the only one out of the group of girls that goes regurarly that isnt new that was not invited. That is what makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I was the only girlone out of the core group not invited, like do they have something against me or does somebody else in the group have something against me and they wanted them there and didnt want them feeling uncomfortable around me? I dont know. But I was the only girl who has been coming a year that attends regurarly that wasn't invited. I had specifically asked him before the wedding if there were other people that go regurarly to small group that weren't invited and he said a whole bunch. One guy and one new person isn't a whole bunch. Why would he say this? And why was I the only girl that attends regurarly not invited? And he had access to the guest list to know who was invited? Why would he know the guest list? He was officiating the wedding, but still, does the officiant usually know the guest list?

There can be lots of reasons or no reason ...unless you actually ask the couple that got married it would only be a guess

I have been involved in planning and the invite list can balloon quickly
Some times it comes down to dollars and cents sometimes its facility capacity

It's their wedding...They can invite who they want and not have to explain it to people who weren't invited.

I would also be hurt in your position, being the only long term 'regular' from your small group who wasn't invited. Do you feel you could ask the couple about it?

People suck?

I think the question you need to ask is not why they didn't invite you, but why it matters so much to you.

As Amy said, it is their wedding and they can invite who they want. Are you close to them? Talk to them and hang out with them or do you only see them in church? Maybe they don't feel as close to you as the others. It sounds like you are going to extreme lengths to find out why you weren't invited, so maybe you've done that in other situations, as well and they feel that you are a little too pushy. Who knows why you weren't invited, but you weren't. Accept it or let it drag you down, the choice is yours.

I think the question the OP should ask is "what should I do now"?

If it were me, I'd quit attending the church meetup group.
If you are made to feel insignificant or unimportant by the actions froma person or group, kick them to the curb, and move on.

Hi jashley.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you. To invite everyone but you from a small group of people just seems so needlessly petty.

You posted before about a different problem you were having with the same group of people and I'm just wondering if maybe going to a different church is an option for you. I realise it's a big decision but this congregation seem to cause you a lot of stress.

You have a legitimate grievance, jashley. It's a spiteful gesture on the bride's part to invite everyone else from the church group but you. Since you've been a member for some time, I don't blame you for wanting to know why you didn't receive an invite. As lifestream suggested, would you be okay with trying different churches? No group is worth the stress and sadness this incident is causing you.

Just because someone attends something regularly or has been a long-time member, doesn't mean they're automatically invited to life events. It was their wedding and they could invite or not invite anyone they decided on. Perhaps it was a budget thing. Personally, I wouldn't uproot where I was comfortable, and a long-time member, just for the sake of not being invited somewhere.

I'd suggest leaving the pastor alone because sounds like he was trying to avoid hurting your feelings in an awkward situation.

Second, from your other thread, there are people who do not like you and are excluding you.

Is everyone in this group treating you this way? Is there someone that makes you feel good and treats you like a friend?

If you are happy with some people there then I would just ignore this and move on. You now know that you are not as close to them like you thought you were. Being not invited to weddings helped me realize which people did not feel close enough to me.

If you are very unhappy and everyone treats you badly and they purposely exclude you, I'd suggest seeing another church and hopefully you'll find a group of people that will want to your friends.

Honestly why ask why? What is a good answer? They forgot? They didn't think of you? They don't really care for you? Etc. Why even ASK them? I do not think that is a good approach. It sets you up for more pain. They simply didn't. You know that. Why seek to confirm WHY? As for this church, it is very sad that they choose to not be more inclusive.