I think I figured out why I want a relationship

I think... I just wanna feel alive. I've been living in my head for so long, I don't remember what it's like any other way. To actually, you know, be in the moment?

Seriously, I don't have anyone I consider a "friend" in "real life", and haven't for many years. And, it's not for lack of trying either, plus, what you can do on your own is quite limited. So, I've lived this life of boredom, even when I talk to people I genuinely like or care about, and even when I do something "creative" or whatever for myself, like some people recommend, it's through a ******* screen, and it's just not feeling real enough anymore.

So, the idea of having someone to just... be with. Whether it's just hanging out, watching some netflix, playing a video game together, chilling, or feeling closer, being able to get physical with someone you love... that sounds amazing to me, precisely because I would be in the moment. Not only that, but I would be happy, or at least, it would be a positive experience. Because to me, happiness, while still something I want, has become secondary to the desire to feel alive, feel present. I feel a rush from being in danger, or going through more negative experiences as well, as long as they bring me down to earth, and that (at least, on the rational level of my mind) scares me. A relationship would feel like the best of both worlds, because it would be something that would healthy, while giving me that sense as well.

I'm pretty sure a lot of people can be able to relate to this idea, though, I don't think I'm able to express it well, or at least as well as some others have. I'm not even fully sure why I'm making this thread to be honest, but, I just felt like sharing this thought for some reason.

Many can relate. That's why God invented drugs. Jk don't do drugs. It's why military vets always miss war.

You can get lost in the moment on your own though. There are whole religious practices devoted to it. I dunno if a girlfriend is the only answer.

kamya said:

Many can relate. That's why God invented drugs. Jk don't do drugs. It's why military vets always miss war.

You can get lost in the moment on your own though. There are whole religious practices devoted to it. I dunno if a girlfriend is the only answer.

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Nah, I am aware of that. Meditation, all kinds of things. Though, for my situation, because I already spend 99% of my time in my head, it's hard not to make things worse in a way by focusing too much internally, and, like I briefly mentioned, a lot of the things that pull you into the moment are actually stressful, or even harder (heh, like the drugs example you mentioned, though I don't do drugs).

I guess a social life in general MIGHT help, but just the idea of having someone you can open up to completely, on an emotional and physical level is what makes a girlfriend sound more appealing to me, in that regard.

I understand what you mean. I also suffer from being in my head way too much most of the time.

i guess i don't really get what you mean by "in the moment"? you shouldn't require a relationship to be happy in the moment. i don't know. if you find something that you like doing, you should be able to like doing it all by yourself. i love getting stoned by myself, more than with other people actually. i think your problem might be more rooted in fulfillment.

I can understand what you mean, but not relating to it unfortunately. I see having a relationship with another person more as a way to achieve purpose, a reason to live for.
I mean the way I see it, what could possibly be more fulfilling and contributing thing to do in this life than devoting it to someone important to you? Someone you could support, be affectionate with and make her (or he) truly happy being in your company?

In my opinion, it's an incredible thing.
Unfortunately, I don't think that someone like me will ever be capable of actually finding that special someone and making her as happy as I would have wanted to...

I thought all the same things. And I did years ago. Not so much anymore. But I still have that little bit of hope that I'll have someone to share my life with. If I never do, then I guess I'd have to be happy with myself.

Well finding a soul mate will help you a lot .Life its meant to be with someone who you love her .And also by having love in your life help you a lot by atrcting good things to you because you are more positive