Fear of responsibility

I’ve been listening to tony robbins talk about pain, pleasure and the fear of pain being driving forces in our lives. One of my biggest fears and sources of pain is responsibility. I am afraid of responsibility deep down. I am afraid of making big decisions. I’ve lived in a comfort zone all my life. I’ve made big decisions in the past, but some have put me in bad places and I’m afraid of making mistakes again. I’m afraid of making my situation worse than it already is. I associate short term pain with making decisions and taking action, which causes me to do other things to seek short term pleasure [procrastination]. Sometimes it’s good not to make decisions and take action, but not to the point that it prevents me from living life and enjoying it. Right now I’m trying to think of the pain I would go through if I didn’t take control of my life. I guess there are two kinds of pain, the pain of facing fears and taking action, which is temporary, and the pain of regret, looking back and wishing I had done something and knowing that I can’t turn back time, which will last longer than fear.

Have you dealt with a fear of responsibility? How do you deal with it when it comes up?

I think the word you're looking for is "repercution". Which are the posibility of failing in our resposibilities. We aren't afraid of taking decisions but we are afraid of the outcome. If we could predict what is going to work and what not, our fear would dissapear. Sometimes the mistake comes from not making that prediction, and we can't rely only in our skills to trust we will achieve those goals. All I can say that we can cross our fingers and proceed with caution.

Xpendable said:

I think the word you're looking for is "repercution". Which are the posibility of failing in our resposibilities. We aren't afraid of taking decisions but we are afraid of the outcome. If we could predict what is going to work and what not, our fear would dissapear. Sometimes the mistake comes from not making that prediction, and we can't rely only in our skills to trust we will achieve those goals. All I can say that we can cross our fingers and proceed with caution.

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ah you're right, it's the consequences. It's like that saying damned if you do damned if you don't. one way or the other we have to proceed

I can honestly say i have never feared responsibility. IN fact i seek out responsibility. I like it.

delledonne11 said:

I can honestly say i have never feared responsibility. IN fact i seek out responsibility. I like it.

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Not me. I have never lived up to my potential because I always seek out positions where someone else makes the decisions. But the problem is... I always find that they make poor decisions and I should have made them because mine would have been better. It is always the way that those who want responsibility are the most likely to be poorly suited for it.

However the fear of making a mistake is somewhat for me, easily dealt with. Mistakes are learning opportunities. What did you learn from your "mistakes"? Mistakes can create valuable lessons and directions. Characterizing things as mistakes is a judgment. I joined an event committee at work. Turned out to be a horrible mistake because no one wanted to do anything. But now I know. I wouldn't know that unless I joined. So it wasn't a mistake. It was a learning opportunity.

EmilyFoxSeaton said:

delledonne11 said:

I can honestly say i have never feared responsibility. IN fact i seek out responsibility. I like it.

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Not me. I have never lived up to my potential because I always seek out positions where someone else makes the decisions. But the problem is... I always find that they make poor decisions and I should have made them because mine would have been better. It is always the way that those who want responsibility are the most likely to be poorly suited for it.

However the fear of making a mistake is somewhat for me, easily dealt with. Mistakes are learning opportunities. What did you learn from your "mistakes"? Mistakes can create valuable lessons and directions. Characterizing things as mistakes is a judgment. I joined an event committee at work. Turned out to be a horrible mistake because no one wanted to do anything. But now I know. I wouldn't know that unless I joined. So it wasn't a mistake. It was a learning opportunity.

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that's a good way of looking at things.

Well your problem its the fear of act ,leave that ******* comfort zone and change your life .If you stay in comfort zone you will feel good but life will be a disaster later on ,if you get out confort zone you will feel uncomfortable but after a whyle you life will be magnficient

handheart said:

Well your problem its the fear of act ,leave that ******* comfort zone and change your life .If you stay in comfort zone you will feel good but life will be a disaster later on ,if you get out confort zone you will feel uncomfortable but after a whyle you life will be magnficient

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yes, i'm learning this step by step. unfortunately it takes a while for new habits to form, but i am learning

quead64 said:

yes, i'm learning this step by step. unfortunately it takes a while for new habits to form, but i am learning

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I read a good book on this called "Do it" lets get off our butts (I think that was it) It isn't so much a book but a collection of extremely on point and motivating quotes. Whenever I feel anxiety about forging ahead I read it. Gets me motivated. It is really true.. just do it and see what happens. In my experience 9 times out of 10 it was a good thing. But can't seem to remember that when I am trying something new.

I support getting out your comfort zone, when I do it it usually backfires and I get negative results.. It's worse because I know it's my fault, I try to change, you have to get smashed and keep going back till you get it right.