OK, I'm gonna try this again from a different angle.

I've been keeping an eye on SkaFish's thread on the "Low Self Esteem / Shyness" forum and it, sort of, inspired me to ask again a question I made over two months ago.
I'm sure y'all are still busy sending him PMs, so there's no need to respond here right away.

Anywho, it's this one again:

http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=36193

Just replace the title with one of these two questions:

1) Am I approachable?
2) What should I focus on correcting/fixing/improving first?

If there are specific details or something else y'all want to know, then feel free to ask. I'm open-minded, so don't be afraid of asking for taboo or controversial opinions or even a picture of my grumpy face.

Just so y'all know, this may be my last time in these forums, depending on what answers I get, I'll either stay here or try an ISTJ forum. (I'm aware that I'm no special snowflake, specially when compared to other known members, so I have no idea why I stated this.)

Well this is the first time iv seen you here. Not been here back long myself tho so thats not a surprise.

You come across has approachable and friendly with to what I have seen.

I would say that you have been here for a few years but only have a 100 odd posts.
Maybe you go in chat or PM a lot but if not then you should do thos things or post more so people know that your about.

Its not always easey to post if you feel you have got nothing usfull to say in a thread.
I guss thats why a lot love the games forum. You can have a laugh and make friends too.
Not that I post in there a lot myself. And I really hate instant chat cos I have terrible spelling.

The question of approach-ability is just so hard to answer without knowing you in person.

Bluey said:

100 odd posts.

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?

AnonymousMe said:

Bluey said:

100 odd posts.

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?

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The posts you have made on this board witch right now is 165.
Its not much to say you have been here for 3 years

What I mean is if you dont post much then people dont know your about.
In less like I say you use the chat room or are PM'ing people.

That might have come across has I was having a dig. I hope you dont take it like that I was not.

Paraiyar said:

The question of approach-ability is just so hard to answer without knowing you in person.

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True, Even if you get to know some one a lot on line and talk all the time.
It is often different when you meet in person.

I still remember when girls approached me when i was a kid and teenager. They were loud and annoying about it. Later in life I kinda regret not taking that shots. Even if the girls personalities sucked. Now most women have grown beyond the time they liked men like me, or changed tastes regarding of what they need right now. Things like economic stability and family oriented men. When you are young, girls like you for simple reasons: You're funny or nice, or handsome, or smart. But in that time there were no responsibilities and you didn't have to provide anything else than yourself. There's a lot of men of my age now that can provide the "adult" stuff; social or material. In that sense is like I still have 18 and have nothing to offer except for my own persona.

Paraiyar said:

The question of approach-ability is just so hard to answer without knowing you in person.

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I agree with Paraiyar. +1 rep

I have a feeling none of the answers here will be to your satisfaction but meh - I'll bite.

Approachability is judged a lot by non-verbal behavior and the only non-verbals you'll get on a forum like this are maybe 5 emoticons and that animated club thing.

Do people approach you? If so, your answer is yes, you're approachable.
Do you walk around with your shoulders hunched over and your head down? Do you spend more time looking down at your devices than looking up at other people and the world in general? Are you in your room at home most of the time and are you the guy at gatherings sitting in the corner and not talking to anyone?

-Teresa

SofiasMami said:

Do you spend more time looking down at your devices than looking up at other people and the world in general?

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lol, Why do a lot of people do this. There cant be anything that important going on at FB that they have to constantly ignore the world around them.

No advice, huh? See you all, then.
SofiasMami, I'll answer your questions though.

SofiasMami said:

#1 Do people approach you?
#2 Do you walk around with your shoulders hunched over and your head down?
#3 Do you spend more time looking down at your devices than looking up at other people and the world in general?
#4 Are you in your room at home most of the time and are you the guy at gatherings sitting in the corner and not talking to anyone?

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#1 Not really, but with my physique and face, it's not surprising.
#2 No, my shoulders are usually raised and my head switches forth between looking up and down (I mind my steps).
#3 I don't have a cellphone or tablets or things like that. I listen my MP3 or play my PSP whenever I need to wait, but I normally daydream.
#4 Yes and yes.

AnonymousMe said:

No advice,

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I have a question for you, If you sew someone else post this then how would you try and answer it?

Its not easy to try and help someone. Its even harder to do that frow the power of an online forum with someone you dont relay know.

I can see your struggling here that I think is obverse to most who read your post in here and the link to the other tread you made.

It is hard, we are all struggling with our own demons here.

I dont have a problem in approaching anyone. I have never been shy.
The only time that was a problem for me was when I have been swimming in the past.
I used to get conscious of the fact that people would be looking at my back.
It is badly disfigured with scars running to the top from the bottom.
I did use to just tell myself to stop bing soft and to just go anyway. But still it did not make me feel that much more comfortable with myself with no top on.
One day why swimming I sew a woman. And to be strait to the point she was a big girl. I mean she was really fat.
She was playing with her to young children that she was with.
She and her kids looked like they was having a great time.
She did not look bothered about what other people might of been thinking.
She just looked like she was enjoying the moment.
I looked at her for a wile and thought you know what I have a lot of respect for her. Nobody was judging her. And I thought if I think that then other people will to. And I doubt any one would look at me and think badly.

You might not think any of that is relevant to you. But what I am trying to say is all your insecurities are in your head. nobody else cars about the stuff your concerned about. Only you do.
You just need some confidence that's all. But you only get that by putting yourself out there.

But you know seeing that woman did me a massive favor. I no longer care what people think. I respect myself and thats all that matters.

You cant hide away just because of what you look like. Or in my case walk like. I have had people take the piss just for walking down the street. fresia um. Live your life the way you wont to.

Get out there and be yourself. How you feel is all in your head. It really is.
Be kind to yourself. And if being over weight is a problem then do something about it. But understand people wont like you more if you are skinny are fat. They will like you if you make them feel good. Having a friendly smile on your face can take you a long way. Nobody wont's to hang with someone thats depressing all the time. It dose not matter what you look like. It matters how friendly and nice you are.