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WallflowerGirl83
Guest
One of my best friends committed suicide and I'm still not over it. I feel so much sadness and other times I feel numb. Anytime I try post about it, I end up erasing it or deleting it. Hate being a burden on others. Believe I even scared away people on here. I hardly talk to many people anymore or even visit the chat room. It's very hard for me to socialize sometimes. Before I had so much anger inside me and people would want to hang out with me, I ended up ignoring the phone calls and ignoring messages on Skype. It's still very hard to deal with. Anytime I see a kid blowing bubbles I start sobbing thinking of him because he bought a bubble gun and him and I would use it in his car. I started crying as I remember the memory of us driving through the Taco Bell drive through and so many bubbles were in the car. He had a paddle out memorial and I handed the bubble gun to his mother. She's griefing so much right now and we talk every once in awhile on Facebook. Before I moved away from my old town she wanted me to come over and she handed me his Pink Floyd hoodie and said he wanted me to have it.... It's been so long since I've expressed myself like this about this. My therapist told me to get it out of my system and to stop trying to hide it, I just hate talking about it, it's so hard for me...like as of right now it's killing me to get this out.