Trying to make new friends

in the last three years or so I have been at my loneliest. The very few friends that I have don't seem to get back to me when I suggest to meet up and haven't talked not even text (have actually met up on two occasions where I hardly talked and those friends met each other without me). I don't feel close to those friends anymore and feel like I cannot talk to them freely, even though one of them I've known nearly twelve years. I then realised maybe I need new friends.

I have used meetup.com, an app and a website to try and make new friends, which have been challenging for me. Meetup.com has been the most successful but only in terms of meeting new people, but not making friends. The app and site haven't been that great, because the women who seem interested but stop talking to me. It gets me down that no one wants to be my friend. I know it can't be forced etc. but I guess I seem to get my hopes up when someone shows interest.

There have been a couple of times where I've met people on dating sites (which I used, but not excusively for dating) where we have got on so well and when parting they have said see you soon. I actually took it literally and thought they are interested in meeting again, which wasn't the case.

Now that I have boyfriend I spend some time with him but not all the time and when I'm not with him feel lonely, not just the fact I'm spending time with him but that I don't have friends that I can spend time with.

I'm still trying and hope I'll eventually find a friend.

Sorry, if what I typed didn't make sense.

Hey Kuro at least you seem to have gotten into a relationship. Personally I can't see how one can be lonely if in a partnership and you both have good feelings, goes well ect..

Then again, I wouldn't really know. Keep trying, at least you're putting in effort, good on you.

It makes perfect sense. I know exactly what it feels like to have no real friends of your own and have a relationship. You need to have time to get out on your own, to have your own life, aside from him.

All you can do is keep doing what your doing. Eventually you will find someone that can and will care for you.

Well if you got in a relationship you are lucky ,try to be very grateful for that because this will bring also other good things in your life .Also i think you should try public places not only online dating sites .Ask yourself wher you can find people maybe a new job maybe a new course maybe at the gym maybe a meeting ,think think think .Also you msut be a happy person to attract oother people in your life loneliness attract more loneliness and hapiness attract more hapines

it is easy to have a great relationship and still be lonely if that is the only person in your life.

It takes time to build up friendships. The thing that I recommend to people the most is meet up,I have been to them and I really enjoy going,but I think in order to make friends with people you have to keep turning up and seeing the people who go to them regularly. Other ways could be volunteering,if you have some spare time,or maybe some kind of course in something that you enjoy doing,that way you're more likely to have something in common with people already. It depends on what you enjoy doing.

You can volunteer and go to things, etc. However, if you are ONLY doing things to make friends that rarely happens. The best advice i can give is to go live your best life. Do what YOU enjoy and what you have passion for. If you like to hike, bike, cook, coach, then do those things with enthusiasm and passion. And, MAYBE you will encounter some like minded people along the way.
At this point in my life, i have tried for years. And, I have wasted a lot of time and effort trying to befriend people who didn't really want my friendship. If there is no reciprocity in some way, dont' waste your time as you might spend a lot of time barking up the wrong trees. I used to always be the one to greet an acquaintance. Then, i decided, maybe someone can actually say Hello to me first. Well, i have learned that most people don't bother. So, i write them off. Why should i be the initiator all the time? It isn't all on you. Just read the cues.

Having a boyfriend or partner doesn't make a difference for me. Well anyway, we broke up today. So, back to lonely weekends.

The One said:

Hey Kuro at least you seem to have gotten into a relationship. Personally I can't see how one can be lonely if in a partnership and you both have good feelings, goes well ect..

Then again, I wouldn't really know. Keep trying, at least you're putting in effort, good on you.

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I'm not only trying to be social just to find friends. I'm also doing it to improve my social skills as I'm socially awkward.
One of the things I love doing doesn't involve people, which is drawing.

My boyfriend and I broke up, so I'll have more lonely weekends now.

delledonne11 said:

You can volunteer and go to things, etc. However, if you are ONLY doing things to make friends that rarely happens. The best advice i can give is to go live your best life. Do what YOU enjoy and what you have passion for. If you like to hike, bike, cook, coach, then do those things with enthusiasm and passion. And, MAYBE you will encounter some like minded people along the way.
At this point in my life, i have tried for years. And, I have wasted a lot of time and effort trying to befriend people who didn't really want my friendship. If there is no reciprocity in some way, dont' waste your time as you might spend a lot of time barking up the wrong trees. I used to always be the one to greet an acquaintance. Then, i decided, maybe someone can actually say Hello to me first. Well, i have learned that most people don't bother. So, i write them off. Why should i be the initiator all the time? It isn't all on you. Just read the cues.

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