Looking like a prick

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

The One

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 5, 2013
Messages
50
Reaction score
0
Location
UK
I'm an only child, I do most things on my own, since I don't have many friends either.

Isn't it weird that if you see someone on their own, it naturally looks very odd, yet it makes no sense, cause that means if you're not with someone, you can't do honeysuckle?

I always rape this norm, i.e- I go places myself, however, I can never make it look normal when I'm on my own, no matter how hard I try, 90% I get a weird vibe from everyone around me.

I've practised zoning out of this thus not getting affected by it, but many people including a mate has said people say I look tired, or I'm on drugs, or look ******* weird.

I don't care anymore, I can't change how I look, or the situation I'm in.

The last time I was out on my own, I just went to the park to sit down and observe nature, realising how beautiful the sky is (I know), random chavy kids come up to me and start asking why I'm on my own, and am I waiting for someone. Just stfu and let me enjoy this world.
 
I guess it depends what your doing on your own.
Like I go to gym on my own but thats not weird.
If you see someone just walking fro town or up the street then thats not weird ether.

I have been to the cinema a few times on my own.
The first time I was a bit dobies. But when I got into the screen there was like a family of 3 there and 2 other people that where also sat on there own. that was it. It was a bit weird. there was more single people there. 3 lots of single people and only one family.
Anyway that put me at rest and I have been a few times since on my own.

I guess if you where to go to say something like a theme park alone then some people might think that weird.
I would not go there alone but I would have nothing but respect for anyone that did.

Kids are little pricks a lot of the time anyway. And I say you handled that in the same way I would of done. Good for you I say.

Also on a side note I think what ever bugs you had that was making you feel "sick" you must have sent them me some how cos I have been feeling shocking.
 
After I went out to a show on my own two weeks ago, I'd say I crossed this social taboo rubicon successfully. I used to go out for walks when I was in the mood, but that was my first "event" of that kind. I don't go out alone on a regular basis because there are not many things out there I actually enjoy, but I certainly won't let a lack of company hold me back. I can confirm that I did stick out like a sore thumb between all those little groups of 2-5 people though. They are called social events for a reason...

Like Bluey I reckon it does depend on the setting though, there are places where socialization isn't necessarily part of the equation. Like a movie theater where you're basically just starting at a screen in the dark. You won't interact much with others during that time. In the end it's never cut-and-dried for everything, it really depends on what intent you have when you're going places. If all you want to do is see the **** movie, work on your stimina or enjoy quiet nature...then do exactly that.
 
Good job Rodent. It's true, depends on where you go. Have you ever tried to talk to people when alone at places though? I'm personally honeysuckle at attempting it.

Apologies for passing on my illness Bluey :p
 
The One said:
Isn't it weird that if you see someone on their own, it naturally looks very odd, yet it makes no sense, cause that means if you're not with someone, you can't do honeysuckle?

I don't think it's weird, nor is it odd to me. We can do plenty on our own. Sure, it's nice to have someone with us from time to time, but honestly, I would love to go out on my own. I would prefer it sometimes.
 
The One said:
I'm an only child, I do most things on my own, since I don't have many friends either.

Isn't it weird that if you see someone on their own, it naturally looks very odd, yet it makes no sense, cause that means if you're not with someone, you can't do honeysuckle?

I always rape this norm, i.e- I go places myself, however, I can never make it look normal when I'm on my own, no matter how hard I try, 90% I get a weird vibe from everyone around me.

I've practised zoning out of this thus not getting affected by it, but many people including a mate has said people say I look tired, or I'm on drugs, or look ******* weird.

I don't care anymore, I can't change how I look, or the situation I'm in.

The last time I was out on my own, I just went to the park to sit down and observe nature, realising how beautiful the sky is (I know), random chavy kids come up to me and start asking why I'm on my own, and am I waiting for someone. Just stfu and let me enjoy this world.

Most people are disgustingly judgmental and closed-minded nowadays. It's not you, it's them.
 
The One said:
I'm an only child, I do most things on my own, since I don't have many friends either.Just stfu and let me enjoy this world.

I feel your pain. I have a sister but she has gotten married and now she seems to use that entire thing as some sort of standard I must meet/ blunt instrument against me. I have always been very independent and needed a lot less friends than others and OMG, no one will let me be that way. No one can accept this and, seems to think that it a serious problem that they have to bug me to solve.

* I should always accept any invite to do anything... even if it is not something I would be interested in and they are just using me to do what they want.
* I should be out their scouring the world for a significant other just so I can get married and be taken off their hands.
* I should be available at all times because, what else am I doing?
* having one cat means I am a cat lady.
* There is something "wrong" with me because I am independent. I must be a secret lesbian or have something deeply deeply wrong that I don't want them to find out about. Or I am just deeply selfish.
* even my boss at work seems to sort of feel I have no right to have time off if I am not "doing something". He can't deny me leave but he always is obsessed with asking me what I am doing. I am starting to feel I am just going to lie.

Honestly I see this attitude with the Brexit this week. The panic that a country wants to go it alone -- panic. Even though, this country was alone for tons of years. Stop the dependence obsession.
 
The One said:
It's true, depends on where you go. Have you ever tried to talk to people when alone at places though? I'm personally honeysuckle at attempting it.

No, never. It doesn't make much sense in my head since people are usually within preset groups already and just want to enjoy themselves. I mean, I hardly anticipate being approached myself and I'm not sure if I even wanted it to happen. You're just around for the setting or the show, not really for getting to know other attendees...especially when it's just a unique event and it's highly unlikely you'll meet any of these people again with convenience.

In theory it might be easier to approach another single individual. Who's lonely and who's alone on purpose is hard to tell though.
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
The One said:
I'm an only child, I do most things on my own, since I don't have many friends either.Just stfu and let me enjoy this world.

I feel your pain. I have a sister but she has gotten married and now she seems to use that entire thing as some sort of standard I must meet/ blunt instrument against me. I have always been very independent and needed a lot less friends than others and OMG, no one will let me be that way. No one can accept this and, seems to think that it a serious problem that they have to bug me to solve.

* I should always accept any invite to do anything... even if it is not something I would be interested in and they are just using me to do what they want.
* I should be out their scouring the world for a significant other just so I can get married and be taken off their hands.
* I should be available at all times because, what else am I doing?
* having one cat means I am a cat lady.
* There is something "wrong" with me because I am independent. I must be a secret lesbian or have something deeply deeply wrong that I don't want them to find out about. Or I am just deeply selfish.
* even my boss at work seems to sort of feel I have no right to have time off if I am not "doing something". He can't deny me leave but he always is obsessed with asking me what I am doing. I am starting to feel I am just going to lie.

Honestly I see this attitude with the Brexit this week. The panic that a country wants to go it alone -- panic. Even though, this country was alone for tons of years. Stop the dependence obsession.


You don't owe your boss any explanation. Be vague. Your personal life is none of his business. Just say that you have plans and leave it at that. If he asks about your plans, just ignore him. I am married with kids and i have learned that people in the work place are too damned nosy. I try to keep my private life more private.
 
I don't think seeing someone alone is "weird". I think you are overthinking it. Honestly, people really don't care about anyone but themselves and what they are doing. If you are out someone alone, they aren't thinking anything about you at all.
 
delledonne11 said:
ou don't owe your boss any explanation. Be vague. Your personal life is none of his business. Just say that you have plans and leave it at that. If he asks about your plans, just ignore him. I am married with kids and i have learned that people in the work place are too damned nosy. I try to keep my private life more private.

That is just really nieve'. If I am vague he flat out asks. Of course, it is presented like he is my buddie and is just trying to make conversation. If I don't get an answer it is just presumed I am not doing anything. His little minions also get in on the act. When I come back from a day off they ask what I did. Not if I had fun... just, what I did.

What am I to say... F** off? You have to answer to maintain good working relationships.

I have even said straight out.. I am doing NOTHING. Every day I was off so they would see I was lying to them. Then they start sending me work on days I am off going "well your not doing anything anyway right?"

They are nosey. Since they clearly will not stop... I am just going to have to start giving them the answers they want. I have even tried staying away the day after but they call and ask.

But the point is.. I shouldn't have to do any of this and the only reason I do, is because I independent.
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
delledonne11 said:
ou don't owe your boss any explanation. Be vague. Your personal life is none of his business. Just say that you have plans and leave it at that. If he asks about your plans, just ignore him. I am married with kids and i have learned that people in the work place are too damned nosy. I try to keep my private life more private.

That is just really nieve'. If I am vague he flat out asks. Of course, it is presented like he is my buddie and is just trying to make conversation. If I don't get an answer it is just presumed I am not doing anything. His little minions also get in on the act. When I come back from a day off they ask what I did. Not if I had fun... just, what I did.

What am I to say... F** off? You have to answer to maintain good working relationships.

I have even said straight out.. I am doing NOTHING. Every day I was off so they would see I was lying to them. Then they start sending me work on days I am off going "well your not doing anything anyway right?"

They are nosey. Since they clearly will not stop... I am just going to have to start giving them the answers they want. I have even tried staying away the day after but they call and ask.

But the point is.. I shouldn't have to do any of this and the only reason I do, is because I independent.

It's not naive at all. You don't have to tell him to fresia off. Just simply say it's personal and leave it at that.

What YOU choose to answer is your own decision. If it's not a vital part of situation and being as he can't deny you leave, it's not vital, then it's none of his business and you don't have to answer.
 
TheRealCallie said:
It's not naive at all. You don't have to tell him to fresia off. Just simply say it's personal and leave it at that.

cause that kind of an answer isn't going to subject me to more speculation and ostriczation for doing what I want. Your right the decision on how I am going to answer is up to me and I made it. Give them the answer they want to hear. Move on.
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
I feel your pain. I have a sister but she has gotten married and now she seems to use that entire thing as some sort of standard I must meet/ blunt instrument against me. I have always been very independent and needed a lot less friends than others and OMG, no one will let me be that way. No one can accept this and, seems to think that it a serious problem that they have to bug me to solve.

* I should always accept any invite to do anything... even if it is not something I would be interested in and they are just using me to do what they want.
* I should be out their scouring the world for a significant other just so I can get married and be taken off their hands.
* I should be available at all times because, what else am I doing?
* having one cat means I am a cat lady.
* There is something "wrong" with me because I am independent. I must be a secret lesbian or have something deeply deeply wrong that I don't want them to find out about. Or I am just deeply selfish.
* even my boss at work seems to sort of feel I have no right to have time off if I am not "doing something". He can't deny me leave but he always is obsessed with asking me what I am doing. I am starting to feel I am just going to lie.

This is my life. You are not alone. My family and those at my place of employment treat me exactly the same.
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
I feel your pain. I have a sister but she has gotten married and now she seems to use that entire thing as some sort of standard I must meet/ blunt instrument against me. I have always been very independent and needed a lot less friends than others and OMG, no one will let me be that way. No one can accept this and, seems to think that it a serious problem that they have to bug me to solve.

* I should always accept any invite to do anything... even if it is not something I would be interested in and they are just using me to do what they want.
* I should be out their scouring the world for a significant other just so I can get married and be taken off their hands.
* I should be available at all times because, what else am I doing?
* having one cat means I am a cat lady.
* There is something "wrong" with me because I am independent. I must be a secret lesbian or have something deeply deeply wrong that I don't want them to find out about. Or I am just deeply selfish.
* even my boss at work seems to sort of feel I have no right to have time off if I am not "doing something". He can't deny me leave but he always is obsessed with asking me what I am doing. I am starting to feel I am just going to lie.

Honestly I see this attitude with the Brexit this week. The panic that a country wants to go it alone -- panic. Even though, this country was alone for tons of years. Stop the dependence obsession.

Feel free to lie to your kingdom come. It'll take them of your case, and you made a fool out of the person.

Funny you say since you became an only child, on your own with things, people have started to try to involve you in random honeysuckle, unhappy with the way you're doing things. My dad's the same, he'll try to get me to go with one of his mates somewhere that sounds completely stupid, if I say no, he'll bring in the "I'm trying to get you to socialize, you know" line... (we went to Milton Keynes, got lunch, I got slapped by some disabled girl, we went back, we hardly spoke to each other as well, I tried most of the convos)

He doesn't know the best way for me to do that right now, I shouldn't have been homeschooled for one and a half years that probably messed me sideways. I'd personally never turn down an invite to do something, I usually make the 90% of plans with my mates, anything to get out and be around people.
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
delledonne11 said:
ou don't owe your boss any explanation. Be vague. Your personal life is none of his business. Just say that you have plans and leave it at that. If he asks about your plans, just ignore him. I am married with kids and i have learned that people in the work place are too damned nosy. I try to keep my private life more private.

That is just really nieve'. If I am vague he flat out asks. Of course, it is presented like he is my buddie and is just trying to make conversation. If I don't get an answer it is just presumed I am not doing anything. His little minions also get in on the act. When I come back from a day off they ask what I did. Not if I had fun... just, what I did.

What am I to say... F** off? You have to answer to maintain good working relationships.

I have even said straight out.. I am doing NOTHING. Every day I was off so they would see I was lying to them. Then they start sending me work on days I am off going "well your not doing anything anyway right?"

They are nosey. Since they clearly will not stop... I am just going to have to start giving them the answers they want. I have even tried staying away the day after but they call and ask.

But the point is.. I shouldn't have to do any of this and the only reason I do, is because I independent.

Well, i have worked for 30 yrs for a lot of different bosses. Yes, some bosses are very persistent. I didn't say to tell him to F Off. However, if that is how you wish to interpret my advice, then i will glady move on to another thread as i was simply trying to offer a helpful opinion.
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
TheRealCallie said:
It's not naive at all. You don't have to tell him to fresia off. Just simply say it's personal and leave it at that.

cause that kind of an answer isn't going to subject me to more speculation and ostriczation for doing what I want. Your right the decision on how I am going to answer is up to me and I made it. Give them the answer they want to hear. Move on.

Who cares if there's more speculation... That's their problem. Not yours. If someone's nosy, that's their own issue. You don't have to give into it. If you tell them more than you're comfortable with, then that's something you chose to do in order to placate them. You don't have to tell them anything. Some people shouldn't be so nosy in the first place.
 
The One said:
I'm an only child, I do most things on my own, since I don't have many friends either.

Isn't it weird that if you see someone on their own, it naturally looks very odd, yet it makes no sense, cause that means if you're not with someone, you can't do honeysuckle?

Your situation is similar to mine. i'm also an only child. i have a couple of 'friends' at school but i don't have those type of close friendship where i can just pick up the phone and ask them to watch a movie or anything. it's a long holiday and i've been home for days..
I want to be able to have the courage to just watch a movie by myself without feeling self conscious but i can't.
 
TheRealCallie said:
It's not naive at all. You don't have to tell him to fresia off. Just simply say it's personal and leave it at that.

What YOU choose to answer is your own decision. If it's not a vital part of situation and being as he can't deny you leave, it's not vital, then it's none of his business and you don't have to answer.

I think what happens here is that her boss is trying to take benefit of the situation. He is trying to make her admit that she does Nothing during her free time in order to convincce her to work during that time.
Since she actually enjoy her free time i think the best solution would be to make clear that she dont want to work outside of her working hours and that she enjoy having time for herself.
Btw it is not weird i know alot of people who spend their free time playing video games, wathcing tv or reading books it is not like everyone should spend their weekend doing amazing stuff, people will understand you like to have time for yourself relaxing from work and stress from the week
 

Latest posts

Back
Top