How do you deal with wasted opportunities?

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Q

quead64

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When you realize that you had a great opportunity that could have changed your life for the better, but you wasted it, how do you deal with those negative emotions? How do you deal with knowing that the problems you are going through now could have been avoided if you took the opportunity?
How do you deal with the jealousy that arises when you see someone taking advantage of the same opportunity you wasted?
 
I try to remember that I am a good person and I try to make the best choices for me. At the time it seemed like the best choice.

I also try to remember that even though looking back it seems like what I should have done, at the moment it didn't so that was not the path for me.

Also try to remember that we are all only human and we all make mistakes. Mistakes are not a forever thing.
 
I don't think about what could have happened. It's already done and gone. Instead I try to concentrate on what I can do now in order to make up for any problems caused by my choice. Thoughts of past won't change my state in any better way. Actions of present will do. Depending on the case, It might be possible that my extra efforts can help me pass higher beyond the point that I could be at if I had taken the opportunity.

That's said, I know such kind of mindset is difficult to have when the extend of miss is huge.

I also try to learn not to miss similar opportunities anymore and consider it a learning experience. Personal wisdom and improvement comes after bitter experiences of past and failures. It is known human beings learn through mistakes and I don't suppose I am exceptionally out of that fact.
 
I think we can all get bogged down in woulda coulda shoulda. But, really where is that going to get you? We have all made mistakes, missed opportunities or done things we regret. But, whatever opportunity that was is gone. And, if you spend your time dwelling on that one, you will miss the new opportunities that come along. The only time we have is TODAY.
 
Smack myself in the head and tell myself the next time an opportunity comes, I will not waste it. You can't do much more than that and feeling badly or prolonged regret really won't get you anywhere or help in any way at all. Best to learn from that mistake and move forward, being alert not to make the same mistake again.
 
I still haven't got over the amount of opportunities I've wasted in my life. When I was younger I was a pretty decent footballer (Scored more goals than games, and won my school a tournament twice in a row) and was a decent athlete (won 400m every year in school) but I gave them up because I didn't like people seeing me and I always think if only I was confident because there are people who I used to play football and athletics with that are earning a living through it, a couple guys I played football with are playing at League 1/2 level and a guy I trained with at athletics won a Bronze medal in India not sure in what category. There is so much more that I could say like wasted chances with women and what not but I can't be bothered to post anymore, lol.
 
Make a commitment to give it my all next time.

It's pretty common, actually. Most people go through their lives half-blind without ever really looking at anything or anyone around them, listening to what they actually hear, etc, and as a result waste quite a bit.

Life goes on.
 
I will learn from my own mistake, accept the outcome from not doing something when I had the chance and then move on with life.
 
I'm 63 years old and I think about missed opportunities every day. I dwell on the past a lot. How to cope? Don't waste any more, I don't have much time left for that many more opportunities to come my way.
 
constant stranger,

I love your "Be here now." Only too true! Something I have to remind myself of OFTEN!
 
I deal with them preemptively because I've trained myself to believe that the chance of failure (and associated criticism for failure) isn't worth the effort of attempting in the first place. That my life is easier, if not happier by simply not even trying.

Sure, there's the saying "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take," but you also don't get criticized for those misses. Take the shot, and still miss, and your life is much harder as a result, with people criticizing or insulting you for that failure.
 
Dwell.
Waste more opportunities.
Repeat.

I don't recommend this approach.
 
quead64 said:
When you realize that you had a great opportunity that could have changed your life for the better, but you wasted it, how do you deal with those negative emotions? How do you deal with knowing that the problems you are going through now could have been avoided if you took the opportunity?
How do you deal with the jealousy that arises when you see someone taking advantage of the same opportunity you wasted?

I'm currently feeling the same things. Someone gave me an opportunity to an internship that'll open so many doors if i do well in it. But because of my limited social skill, i can't exactly show what i can do. i'm overshadowed by a person who actually can't do the job but is able to in a sense 'hide' it by socializing with the bosses. it's been a couple of days already and i can't seem to adapt to the working environment. I feel so worthless because i know that i'm wasting this golden opportunity to network and gain my skill. instead, i want this internship to be over as soon as possible.
 
quead64 said:
When you realize that you had a great opportunity that could have changed your life for the better, but you wasted it, how do you deal with those negative emotions? How do you deal with knowing that the problems you are going through now could have been avoided if you took the opportunity?

The best way to deal with it that you shouldn't think too much about it, the more you think about it, the more you will get upset, make a note of what went wrong and work on it so that it doesn't get repeated in future.


quead64 said:
How do you deal with the jealousy that arises when you see someone taking advantage of the same opportunity you wasted?

Dealing with jealousy is altogether a different thing, I mean to deal with jealousy you need to make yourself more secure and it's fine someone is taking advantage of the same situation and you couldn't do it, but then I don't think these comparisons are healthy, why? because everyone is different, we all have different skills, different strengths and something that is your interest may not be someone else's interest.
 

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