Body Dismorphic Disorder

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Bubblebeam

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Hello.

I thought I'd put out a thread on BDD as I'm sure I'm not the only sufferer on a forum such as this. I'm sure there are differing severities but as someone who's life has been heavily controlled by it, I know how life leeching it can be at its worst.

I am hoping that maybe we can help each other here on our bad days. My mum is very similar to me in this and we will help perk each other up. Often times all it takes for us is seeing ourselves briefly in a reflection or the mirror to be spiralled into that awful darkness, where we feel too ugly to even answer the door to the postman or take the rubbish out. This is me on many occasions; actively avoiding going out for fear of being laughed at or mocked like I was all too often in school, for how I looked, acted or sounded.

Personally I've found there's no real remedy to this, but having loved ones or even strangers around to help you through each episode can only be a blessing, hence this thread. I hope it will be of some help, even if only a little.
 
Hi,

I just saw your post when I checked on new ones. I don't have BDD but isn't that a part of the OCD spectrum? I was wondering if you have done any CBT and what your thoughts on it were. What would be the best way to support someone going through CBT?
 
You are definitely not the only one here. Here's another thread for more reference, if you're interested. http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=29813

I've had an issue with it for many years. It's not as bad for me as it used to be. I'm still not quite able to see myself as I really am, but I know that other people DO see me as I really am.
I have a few friends who can be brutally honest with me, so any pictures I have and want to use, for like facebook or anything else I need a picture for, I will show it to them and they will tell me what they think of it.
I also use a measuring tape to help keep track of how I really look like. If I feel like or see myself as bigger than I usually am, I will use that to make sure I don't really look like that. I still see myself that big (so I tend to stay away from mirrors if I can), but I can separate it from the truth...if that makes sense.

That's the easy one to "fix" though, I can't do that for the other things I have issues with.
 
I've suffered with BDD since I was about 13. I've tried CBT, CAT, therapy, meds, MAOI's, nothing works. It's eased slightly with age, but I don't think I'll ever truly beat it. Unlike you, I have no family or loved ones to help me either. So count yourself lucky there.
 
BayouWoman said:
Hi,

I just saw your post when I checked on new ones. I don't have BDD but isn't that a part of the OCD spectrum? I was wondering if you have done any CBT and what your thoughts on it were. What would be the best way to support someone going through CBT?

I'm not sure really. I avoid doctors these days because they very often will contradict one another or give minimal-to-no-help to save money (surpise, surprise). Any mental illness will usually be so broad and unique to an individual as well. Some people say diving in headfirst so to speak helps their problems but for others it does the opposite. For me it just seems to depend on the day. Some days I'm mentally stronger than others. On those stronger days, I tend to be able to get out and think realistically i.e. nobody is gonna be zooming in on me, they have their own lives to think about, you know?

Zook said:
I've suffered with BDD since I was about 13. I've tried CBT, CAT, therapy, meds, MAOI's, nothing works. It's eased slightly with age, but I don't think I'll ever truly beat it. Unlike you, I have no family or loved ones to help me either. So count yourself lucky there.

Same here in it getting better with age. I used to be much more physically scared (that nervous stomach nausea) from the smallest things relating to school, because it was at school that I got the verbal abuse. Being called "a skank" (British slang for disgusting) and such cuts deep, but time can sometimes heal.

Hang in there. Like I said, if encouragement can be brought out of this thread, that can only be a good thing. :)
 
I always thought it was funny how the ones who use derogatory terminology on others should look in a mirror.

School is this fake nightmare environment. Don't let anything that happens to you in school affect the person you become.

Weird how sometimes doctors are even lost and in many things we just have to hunt around in the dark until we find our way.

Someone told me their faith helps them tremendously. Are any of you of a particular faith and has it helped?
 
BayouWoman said:
I always thought it was funny how the ones who use derogatory terminology on others should look in a mirror.

School is this fake nightmare environment. Don't let anything that happens to you in school affect the person you become.

Weird how sometimes doctors are even lost and in many things we just have to hunt around in the dark until we find our way.

Someone told me their faith helps them tremendously. Are any of you of a particular faith and has it helped?

Thanks BayouWoman. :) Yes I have a faith, I believe in Jesus Christ and he certainly helps me through life. I would no doubt not be here today if I didn't know him.

How about you?
 
My faith is weird, in that began in a very fundamentalist protestant church, then ended up in a spiritist church then in a encompass all things church which was very New Orleans hoodoo oriented, here I am Roman Catholic, but my beliefs encompass all. I know it is weird, but it works for me.

I don't think I would have survived without my faith either.
 
I admit that I don't understand exactly what you go through, although I have always suffered form a mild form of it myself (general insecurity and shame about my looks). But, allow me to say this ...

Regardless of how you look on the outside, I am certain that your pure and sparkling inner beauty will shine through your skin and touch whoever you come into contact with.

I don't know about you, but in my experience, the ones who make fun of my looks are generally the ones who could use a mirror themselves. One example - ALL the kids I grew up with harassed me ceaselessly for being skinny. Today, they look like they're 30 going on 50 ... bloated faces (and other body parts), no style, no evidence of self-care. And, I almost always get told I look like I'm in my 20s, apart from being asked if I model.

Why would someone tell you you look bad, if it were not a reflection/projection of their own insecurity ? Why would any human make another feel bad, period ? No human being in their right mind would hurt another.

"Forgive them for they know not what they do"
 
I have problems too, eventhough I don't care too much about them. I am technically underweight, but just a few kilos under the line, so I really try to eat one meal a day, but the energy reserves usually aren't enough. It's not about food or about me, it's about the burnout... as so many other things. Five more kilos and I'll be good again. What does worry me is whether my muscles disappear when I eat worse :(
 
Meaw said:
Five more kilos and I'll be good again. What does worry me is whether my muscles disappear when I eat worse :(

(Sorry, I couldn't resist)

Muscles are metabolically expensive (they eat fat), and so, because the body is tuned for survival (think caveman), the body will naturally tend to want to keep fat and lose muscle. Muscles atrophy when the body feels as if the muscle it has is unnecessary (lack of exercise ... or in caveman terms, you don't need to climb trees to escape the saber tooth tigers). The ONLY way to combat that is to exercise (climb trees, push big boulders out of the way) ... so if you want to keep/gain muscle, exercise and ingest enough protein.

So, my point is ... you eating worse has nothing to do with losing muscle. It can only result in you gaining fat. Muscle atrophy is all lack of exercise.
 
I do exercise too, though. I would find it fun to climb a tree to get away from a saber toothed tiger :p What has protein? I just... eat. As much as I can, which is still too little :/ Chicken, sandwich, yoghurt are a few common examples. I don't seem to gain any fat :(
Good news from your post is I'm still strong then.
 
Somnambulist said:
I admit that I don't understand exactly what you go through, although I have always suffered form a mild form of it myself (general insecurity and shame about my looks). But, allow me to say this ...

Regardless of how you look on the outside, I am certain that your pure and sparkling inner beauty will shine through your skin and touch whoever you come into contact with.

I don't know about you, but in my experience, the ones who make fun of my looks are generally the ones who could use a mirror themselves. One example - ALL the kids I grew up with harassed me ceaselessly for being skinny. Today, they look like they're 30 going on 50 ... bloated faces (and other body parts), no style, no evidence of self-care. And, I almost always get told I look like I'm in my 20s, apart from being asked if I model.

Why would someone tell you you look bad, if it were not a reflection/projection of their own insecurity ? Why would any human make another feel bad, period ? No human being in their right mind would hurt another.

"Forgive them for they know not what they do"

I don't believe general insecurities classify as BDD (everyone has those), unless you agonize over them for hours a day. 

And BDD doesn't really have anything to do with how others treat you or what they say to you.  No, it doesn't help, but that's not really what it is.  It's about what YOU see yourself as, regardless of what others tell you. 
I have never been told I was ugly or bad looking or anything along those lines, but that's how I see myself.   Well, I don't think I'm "ugly" anymore, but you get the idea.
 
TheRealCallie said:
Somnambulist said:
I admit that I don't understand exactly what you go through, although I have always suffered form a mild form of it myself (general insecurity and shame about my looks). But, allow me to say this ...

Regardless of how you look on the outside, I am certain that your pure and sparkling inner beauty will shine through your skin and touch whoever you come into contact with.

I don't know about you, but in my experience, the ones who make fun of my looks are generally the ones who could use a mirror themselves. One example - ALL the kids I grew up with harassed me ceaselessly for being skinny. Today, they look like they're 30 going on 50 ... bloated faces (and other body parts), no style, no evidence of self-care. And, I almost always get told I look like I'm in my 20s, apart from being asked if I model.

Why would someone tell you you look bad, if it were not a reflection/projection of their own insecurity ? Why would any human make another feel bad, period ? No human being in their right mind would hurt another.

"Forgive them for they know not what they do"

I don't believe general insecurities classify as BDD (everyone has those), unless you agonize over them for hours a day. 

And BDD doesn't really have anything to do with how others treat you or what they say to you.  No, it doesn't help, but that's not really what it is.  It's about what YOU see yourself as, regardless of what others tell you. 
I have never been told I was ugly or bad looking or anything along those lines, but that's how I see myself.   Well, I don't think I'm "ugly" anymore, but you get the idea.

Yes, I know that BDD has nothing to do with how others treat you. Thanks.
 
I understand how you feel, most days I cant look at myself in a mirror, I can go for a very long time without looking at myself. Maybe look at my hair to check if it is not a mess, sometimes not even that.
There are days when I feel particularly bad, I try to put make up on to see if that helps make me feel a bit better, or less ugly. And I try to dress up, to see if that helps in any way. But usually it doesnt matter what i do, at the end when I am about to go out, I just turn around and go back inside.
It does get better with time, as I grew older, I cared less.
But I still feel very anxious when I have to go out, and see and talk to people. And I can still go days without looking at myself in a mirror. But I will go out any way. It has been a while since that feeling stopped me.
Cheer up, hopefully it will pass sooner for you.
 
mauthecat said:
I understand how you feel, most days I cant look at myself in a mirror, I can go for a very long time without looking at myself. Maybe look at my hair to check if it is not a mess, sometimes not even that.
There are days when I feel particularly bad, I try to put make up on to see if that helps make me feel a bit better, or less ugly. And I try to dress up, to see if that helps in any way. But usually it doesnt matter what i do, at the end when I am about to go out, I just turn around and go back inside.
It does get better with time, as I grew older, I cared less.
But I still feel very anxious when I have to go out, and see and talk to people. And I can still go days without looking at myself in a mirror. But I will go out any way. It has been a while since that feeling stopped me.
Cheer up, hopefully it will pass sooner for you.

I do the same thing; not looking in the mirror. Sometimes it's best to be ignorant of my appearance to get through the day.
 
People have told me I have BDD, but I don't think that is so, I just think I am and always have been hideous and repulsive, it's that simple, and I have plenty of proof to rest my case, so maybe I don't have BDD after all.
 
lilE said:
People have told me I have BDD, but I don't think that is so, I just think I am and always have been hideous and repulsive, it's that simple, and I have plenty of proof to rest my case, so maybe I don't have BDD after all.

That is the point exactly we all, well at least I do but I shouldn't speak for others, I too feel hideous and repulsive, so much so I can't stand to look at myself. I have been told that I am too. But somedys it is better and some are unbearable.
 

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