LeilaniAWarrior
Active member
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2013
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I remember when I wrote on here before that I said that I did not believe in love. Lately, I have been thinking of someone that is means so much to me. However, there is a huge problem. I find myself constantly thinking about this person, who I have not seen in 6 years. The most depressing thing is now he is in his 40s, married with kids, and is a principal of a school. I remember when I first met him when I was 13 in middle school.He was one of my favorite teachers. I was so shy around him, It was so hard for me to think about my school work when all I could think about was his smile and the way he helped me with my work. I could barely speak to him because he made me so nervous and when I did speak it would be quiet and fast. He was really helpful and really nice to me something that I needed because I had been bullied by my peers on most days. I tried to seek guidance from my friends, they were no help. They just thought it was disgusting. I tried to tell them that age was not important to me. There is not a day that goes by where I don't think of him. His face, his smile, his voice always haunts me in my dreams. I don't know how to let him go. The most embarrassing thing was I told him how I felt in an email, I was so embarrassed and I am still embarrassed. I am happy for him, it seems like he is living such a great life. Sometimes I wish I could have been with him, I wish I was around his age when he was single. If I could send him a dozen of roses each day I would to remind him of how beautiful he is to me. At the same time, I wish I could stop thinking about him, I really want my heart cut out of me. I feel so single,miserable,and heart broken.