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Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

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Darlene

Active member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
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Location
MY
Hello.

I've backspaced on my first sentence several times here and to be honest, I'm still not satisfied with it. I'm here because I have nowhere else to go. I'm here because I am lonely. I want to have somewhere to share my thoughts. I have no expectation of making friends here- so no pressure there.

I'm a university student. My grades are mediocre. I've tried joining clubs, but I have either been shunned or completely ignored. I'm frightened of crowds. I suffer from major depression and anxiety.

I have a boyfriend but I'm tired of always depressing him because I can't seem to deal with my own honeysuckle. So I have stopped telling him most of my issues and am content enough to watch him go along with his life with the illusion of me being a supportive girlfriend. It's very easy to pretend. He is a good boyfriend, but I don't want to burden him for a while.

I don't have friends. Or rather, I'm good at first impressions, and then when it comes to building up the friendship points, I begin to see the amount of sacrifice I have to make with my studies, my money and time. I also begin to see how boring they are and begin to lose interest in them as they do the same with me because I'm not very interesting either. I've stopped trying to make friends for now. Can't seem to find anyone of interest.

How silly of me to complain of loneliness when I refuse to even make the effort to force myself to have similar interests with others.

I dislike myself. I despise my body. My face, well, I can work with my face but my body.. my body is my idea of a rotten piece of mystery meat not fit to even be fed to rabid dogs. I don't like how I am on medication for my mental illnesses. I hate that after a night of forgetting to take them, I end up crying over nothing the very next morning. I hate that I lose my temper so easily as well. Why am I triggered by so many things?




Yeah, that's it for now.
 
This forum can be a good place to voice the issues that are troubling you Darlene and I hope you choose to become part of the ALL community.

Please keep coming back here.
 
Hi Darlene, welcome.

I can relate to some of your issues because I've found it difficult to fit in with others, & have been amongst a crowd with whom I had little in common with.
I've tried joining clubs too & found that I couldn't socialize very well because of anxiety, & ended up leaving.
Sometimes I think life has a way of helping us to shake off all that doesn't work for us so that we can find what does.

You're not alone :)
 
Hi welcome to the forum. :) Hope you find what you're looking for here.

I'm a university student too, working on my thesis currently. May I ask what you study?
 
Darlene said:
I'm here because I am lonely. I want to have somewhere to share my thoughts. I have no expectation of making friends here- so no pressure there.

Come try the chat room.

And welcome.
 

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