I did not attend family gathering in March of this year- my dad only attended

Prior to moving to my current city, my father's side of the family wanted to have a get-together at a restaurant. Kind of a family re-union.

My aunts and uncles would be there, along with some of my cousins whom I have not seen for almost 20 years.

My dad informed me of the get together event. I was not in the mood to attend. My mom coaxed me to attend, but nope, I was adamant on not attending. I BS-ed that I had to work that Sunday, which I didn't have to.

The reason why I didn't attend the re-union is because of the following reasons:

1) I am starting my second career. I had to do a job change after getting laid off in 2008 due to weak economy.

2) I am still not married, heck, let alone, have a date. So freaking embarrassing. My cousins all have married, and one of them who is my age, recently had his wife give birth to their daughter in November of last year.

3) My aunts tend to control all the wealth of my grandparents (trust wills, dividing the rent money, etc). My dad has little to no power, and he even hardly keeps in touch with them.

What a crappy life, no? I also don't like one of my aunts because she blatantly told my dad that she likes my sister, over me. The hell with her!

Fast forward to now, I have moved away and live by myself 3000 miles away from home, due to a job offer that I got here. That's another story to tell.

What difference does it make if you're married or not? That's none of their business.

VanillaCreme said:

What difference does it make if you're married or not? That's none of their business.

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I know. But they like to brag about their accomplishments and their jobs. They also look down on my dad, because my aunts (my dad's sisters) control all the wealth that my grandparents left behind after they passed away.

One of my cousin is a middle school principal. He's already married 10 years ago, has 3 daughters. I already saw him at his school because I worked as a part-time school nurse at his facility, taking care of some of the kids.

Other cousin, the one who's same age as me, married three years ago, has a baby daughter now.

But me, you ask? Nada. Not even a girlfriend.

I broke up with a girl last year in May, who didn't even like me, and was "using" me to eat out for dinners.

I am now living away from home because I found a job opportunity here, that I couldn't find at home. I miss home, my parents, and I'm home sick. But at the same time, I'm glad that I'm away from home, and don't have to bump into classmates, former co-workers, and relatives.

Well, I think it's nice you have a job opportunity. Who knows what will come of it. As for you having or not having a girlfriend, that's on your time, not one someone else's time. You concentrate on what you feel you should, and concentrate on having a lady when the time is good for you. If your cousins can only brag about being married, then in my opinion, they don't have much to brag about.

VanillaCreme said:

Well, I think it's nice you have a job opportunity. Who knows what will come of it. As for you having or not having a girlfriend, that's on your time, not one someone else's time. You concentrate on what you feel you should, and concentrate on having a lady when the time is good for you. If your cousins can only brag about being married, then in my opinion, they don't have much to brag about.

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Well, it's not only being married that they may brag about, but also having the accomplishments of having a child, or children to be with.

ANyhow, I didn't feel comfortable attending that family get together. I felt like a loser compared to them.

One of my uncle also asked my father why I didn't have a GF. He probably thought I was gay or something.

You're not a loser. What other people have in their lives is not a measurement of yours, and if they try to make you feel that way, they must not have anything better to do. Don't feel like you should be at a certain point or have something just to appease other people. It's your life, not theirs.

I feel for you. I have never attended any of my class reunions. I am embarrassed about my weight and I just can't go. It's too much.


I hope you find some happiness where you are now.

I'm feeling similar to you right now. My sister's wedding is set for next month and I really don't want to go, even though I know it'd be the right thing to do and my family sort of expects me to be there. I didn't have a very good relationship with my sister and it would be awkward to have to watch her and her recently acquired husband celebrate their love, especially since I'm not married either and haven't had much success with women in my own life. I don't know, I could probably go and just put up with it, if not for my sister then maybe just to keep the peace with the rest of my family.

That's cool that you've moved out on your own and got a job; I'm moving back in with a parent for various reasons and need to find a new job for myself. Sorry to hear you're having these issues. I hope things work out somehow.

I've stopped going to clan reunions myself....got my own set of issues with them. There are some good insights and pieces of advice on this thread.