Dillema between hanging out and keeping real to myself

Hello everyone, i wanted to talk about one of the biggest problem i face that prevent me from hanging out with other people, or even trying to do so.
Being the kind of person that totally knows what they like and dislike. I find it very hard to be put in a certain situation where i find myself forced into something i dislike.

For exemple i dislike house music and the whole "clubber" attitude, i hate the whole atmosphere in those places called nightclubs. In the other hand being a Rock/Metal fan i would enjoy being in a bar playing this kind of music or at a concert of some band i like. The problem is that most of the people love to go to nightclubs and only very few are into the same stuff as me. Nightclubs is the place where everyone meets and make relationships, but since i avoid these places (to be honest being too shy to dance is part of my dislike for those places) i miss great opportunities to meet people that i'am sure would be interesting to meet in other places. I already tried to go but the whole attitude is so fake and people are just dancing to show off. It is completly different from being in a rock/blues whatever concert where you are here to enjoy the music, i just end up on my phone or getting drunk hoping it will make me forget about how i dont belong in this place.

Another exemple is that i have a certain idea as how i want my relation to women be, but when with a group of friend the other guys tends to speak loudly and act stupid when a good looking women walks, and that makes me embarassed because it is not how i want to be seen. Of course not everyone is like that but when meeting someone and hanging out for the first time, i'am unable to tell how their attitude would be like. So i end up prefering to avoid the whole situation.

The exemples can go on with going to watch a shitty movie, or a sport i dislike(i can't stand watching, talking about football!)
So in other words i find myself searching for the "perfect friends" that would have the same tastes as me, act the same as i would do and so on. Even though i know i will never find such people, in the other hand i dont want to "betray" who i'am in order to fit in the crowd. So what should i do? Somtimes i try to be more flexible with my tastes and what i'am ready to do in order to make new situations happens, and somtime i tell myself that i should be myself no matter what until i find the right people.

Maybe you should get dance lessons and then you won't be shy about it.

Paraiyar said:

Maybe you should get dance lessons and then you won't be shy about it.

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Yeah, i thought about it, but dont have time yet.
However it is just a part of the problem it wont fix it all

What kinds of things DO you like? What other social events have you tried? You mentioned you'd enjoy playing Rock/Metal music at a bar or concert. Are there any places in your area that might have karaoke or open mic nights? Those are good events to make friends and have people notice you.

Pennywise said:

Paraiyar said:

Maybe you should get dance lessons and then you won't be shy about it.

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Yeah, i thought about it, but dont have time yet.
However it is just a part of the problem it wont fix it all

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Maybe you should write down the different parts of the problem and go about eliminating them one by one.

Extreme Unit said:

What kinds of things DO you like? What other social events have you tried? You mentioned you'd enjoy playing Rock/Metal music at a bar or concert. Are there any places in your area that might have karaoke or open mic nights? Those are good events to make friends and have people notice you.

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Yeah there is a place where i plays this kind of music near me, i used to go there but always alone since i have no friends. I realise that i endend looking weird for always being alone and decided not to go there until i got some friends who share the same interest in this kind of music. The only people i know have completly different tastes than i do and i dont want to force myself into events i'am not interested in because i'll end up just not enjoying and will look even more weird to the people i'am with.

If you'd like to make friends through Rock/Metal place then keep trying that. I understand it's a little awkward to strike up a conversation with a group of people when your alone. But I think if your friendly enough they might invite you to meet up with them at other events, places etc.
You just gotta build up your confidence and try.