Lost another friend...

Looks like it. The typical message a bit less for a few days, and then she suddenly left mid-conversation without saying anything, and hasn't messaged me again since. I really hate that. We'd had a few fights before, but otherwise things were going decent, we even agreed to try to improve our friendship and work on our problems. I just wish people would at least say good bye, or explain why they left instead of being sneaky like that. I honestly thought she was different in that regard. I know she at least explained to her last few friends why she left them, and they treated her pretty horribly. Which makes it feel even worse. The ******* who tried to convince her to commit double suicide with him was worth a farewell message, and I wasn't...

Just so tired of this stupid ******* cycle. Get abandoned, end up all alone and friendless, scavenge around forums, classes and such desperately until you find someone you can actually hold a conversation with, get abandoned again after a few months and the cycle just repeats itself. How can someone live like that? I completely reset my whole social circle (if you can even call it that) outside of family every few months. It's just not right...

You are very young so there's plenty of time to nurture your social circles. And well done for persevering, the important thing is not to give up but to reflect on the experience & learn from it.

It's times like this when it's important to be a friend to ourselves. Don't allow depression in, find something uplifting to do instead. Take a break from it all & enjoy yourself, next time you'll come back better prepared.

I lost 4 friends at once after I left a band due to religious differences. It hurts to think that we still have to see people as for what they believe.

How long was it between when she last talked to you and you posted this? Has she talked to you at all since?

I'm sorry. It's not a nice feeling. I hope you meet some good people soon.

MentatsGhoul said:

Just so tired of this stupid ******* cycle. Get abandoned, end up all alone and friendless, scavenge around forums, classes and such desperately until you find someone you can actually hold a conversation with, get abandoned again after a few months and the cycle just repeats itself. How can someone live like that? I completely reset my whole social circle (if you can even call it that) outside of family every few months. It's just not right...

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There is one way to break any cycle: Break one of its components.

For you, its like a roller coaster, the ups and downs make you feel bad. With ups, comes the fear of going down. By getting someone to talk to, you get a fear to lose them.
By losing someone, you end up BECOMING sad, and start worrying whether you will have anyone to talk to.

For me, there is no cycle.
I feel lucky that I have no friends. Being hated and rejected and ignored by everyone, everywhere, online and offline is a better feeling. No place makes it better for me. Its the same thing everywhere. People hate me here, people hate me there, and even there. Thus making everything normal, uniform, even for me.

When you have something precious, you usually have a fear to lose it. When you have nothing to lose, you have no fear. Look, I have no freinds. Means I never fear of losing friends.

I have accepted deeply that nobody will ever be interested in trying to understand me and being my friend. This makes me so powerful; I embrace the feeling of loneliness and when people try to make me feel lonely, my own loneliness becomes my shield, saying "I am with you, nothing can touch you."
If rejection becomes a part of one's life. It becomes normal. Then, non rejection would feel abnormal.

What you should know that when you get something, you receive a bonus of fear to lose it. Out of the two, you shouldn't worry about the bonus. Its just a part of the gift you got. Focus on the gift as a whole. That gift is what makes you lucky. If you lose it, think of people who never have anyone to talk. Who don't know to make friends. Who have nobody to talk to. Be their friend. You will become stronger.
All the best.