Loneliness is fine?

Hi,

Probably there are other threads with the same topic..

Is there anyone that think about his/her loneliness in a positive way? Because I don't think of mine as a burden, rather sometimes even like a great achievement.
Sometimes it is sad. You see a couple, a group of friends, and you feel like missing a great joy. But the rest of the time is quite a great thing, being alone, do whatever you want, live without the burden of accomplish others, or worring about social "obligation".


A citation from Arthur Schopenhauer
"A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free."

I guess it depends on your point of view and your emotional state. I used to quite happy being all by myself - reading books, doing research on extraterrestrials and other things i found fascinating, watching movies, studying, etc. Now my loneliness is to an extent that it even bothers me sometimes.

I'm actually fine with being alone. Have been for awhile. I have a close friend or two but even then I don't see or talk to them everyday and I'm still okay with that. I try to avoid parties or social situations if I can help it and tend to only hang out with the same person every time. Some of my colleagues have called me anti-social, but the nature of my job requires me to be sociable so I've learned to "chameleonise" myself where needed.

I think it's easier being alone at times. Less hassle of people. People can be difficult and challenging. Sometimes I don't feel like I have the energy, mentally and emotionally, for stuff like that. And true that, no need to worry about expectations or obligations.

I do see solitude positively for the most part, but that makes perfect sense when I consider my great level of introversion. I only call it loneliness when certain circumstances cause actual negative emotions within me. These circumstances rarely have to do with solitude, it's much more often discomfort in the (forced) company of people I cannot relate to at all.

Excellent quote by the way. I certainly do value my freedom, but I know this is only possible to that extent when I stay alone and independent. Everything has its price of course, you usually trade freedom for safety. But I get a much higher degree of safety and stability from limiting my interactions and relations to a few reliable people. So I'm fine with that trade-off for the most part.

No. Not in my case. And it only fuled my slacker lifestyle
If that makes any sense

I think it is for some people who prefer it. For those that don't, it's probably a sad spot in their life. Or whatever kind of emotion they feel about it.

Loneliness is whatever you want it to be. If you're introvert by nature and prefer lone activities, then it's not negative. If you seek to get out of your bubble and have a social life, it starts being a problem

Being alone is fine, being lonely isn't....

nobody has touched this point of rest, sleep and health.

i am male having bp and diabetes. i am alone as a divorcee.

now i feel being a complete loner gives me lot of rest, sleep and the choice to go slow in my job career etc.

also i dont have fear of job loss........the whole world becomes like a play ground

i can lazily wake up , just kill time without having to worry about school or other paper works on weekends

There are benefits to the single life. Freedom. Peace and quiet. less hassles. Financial independence.

Sometimes for a loner like me, I do enjoy some company at times. It depends on who the person is. When it i someone I don't have to "try" so much, someone who meshes well with me and doesn't expect anything out of me or expect me to be a certain way then yeah, I wouldn't feel the need to get away to be alone so much.

My job sometimes makes me think people and their greed and ingratitude makes them so exhausting. I meet so many of them it sometimes makes me wonder if I should look for another job that isn't so socially oriented.

ladyforsaken said:

Sometimes for a loner like me, I do enjoy some company at times. It depends on who the person is. When it i someone I don't have to "try" so much, someone who meshes well with me and doesn't expect anything out of me or expect me to be a certain way then yeah, I wouldn't feel the need to get away to be alone so much.

My job sometimes makes me think people and their greed and ingratitude makes them so exhausting. I meet so many of them it sometimes makes me wonder if I should look for another job that isn't so socially oriented.

Click to expand...

I feel similar.

I too work in a place that require a lot of social interaction, ristoration. Furthermore I don't have any respect for that kind of job; waste lots of food, stereotyped people, shitty timetable. All of this for what? For making money. I wonder if it's worth it.
Anyway, I'm working to change it, altought sometimes I wonder if that obbligate social interaction is what prevent me to get crazy

My situation is different, as I'm a single mother. I am alone, but I don't can't do whatever I want, whenever I want. Between my kids, their doctor appointments, my two jobs and cleaning, there isn't any time left to have a life.

Honestly, though, I'm okay with that, because my kids and myself being okay are more important to me than having a large social circle and/or a boyfriend. I do have a few close friends though and every so often we will go out and do something, but they are busy too, so it works out well for all of us.

If I wasn't as busy as I am, I would likely go out more and have a larger social circle, but I doubt I'd be dating. Not looking for that right now.

Being divorced doesn't mean loneliness is what's giving you freedom and the ability to pace your own life. That's just you finally being single.

If it is loneliness, then it is not fine. If it is fine, it is not loneliness.