Tips on moving on?

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H-1000

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Basically, the only person that I loved, and was able to form a special bond with has left me. It was a great 18 month period and I wish it didn't have to end, but nothing lasts forever. Spending time with her was all I looked forward to at the end of the day. Now I'm back to being miserable and lonely, not a single friend to confide in.

Any suggestions to help ease the pain and move on?
 
H-1000 said:
Basically, the only person that I loved, and was able to form a special bond with has left me. It was a great 18 month period and I wish it didn't have to end, but nothing lasts forever. Spending time with her was all I looked forward to at the end of the day. Now I'm back to being miserable and lonely, not a single friend to confide in.

Any suggestions to help ease the pain and move on?

Moving on is just something that happens. I wouldn't work too hard on trying to force it. You could, however, try figuring out why this bond ended and learn from any mistakes. When you're up to it, do consider the possibility of meeting new people.
 
reynard_muldrake said:
H-1000 said:
Basically, the only person that I loved, and was able to form a special bond with has left me. It was a great 18 month period and I wish it didn't have to end, but nothing lasts forever. Spending time with her was all I looked forward to at the end of the day. Now I'm back to being miserable and lonely, not a single friend to confide in.

Any suggestions to help ease the pain and move on?

Moving on is just something that happens. I wouldn't work too hard on trying to force it. You could, however, try figuring out why this bond ended and learn from any mistakes. When you're up to it, do consider the possibility of meeting new people.

I would second all of this.
 
@reynard_muldrake

Well, thank you for the reply. I kept the info a bit vague because I didn't want to reveal too much. What I can disclose is that the separation was inevitable. There was no way of preventing it. I will however, try to learn from this experience. But at the moment, it's just so difficult to divert my mind from it. Oh well, life goes on...
 
H-1000 said:
@reynard_muldrake

Well, thank you for the reply. I kept the info a bit vague because I didn't want to reveal too much. What I can disclose is that the separation was inevitable. There was no way of preventing it. I will however, try to learn from this experience. But at the moment, it's just so difficult to divert my mind from it. Oh well, life goes on...

Eventually you'll be able to focus your mind elsewhere. Maybe not for a while, but it'll happen. I also wanted to suggest that you look for reasons why it's best this relationship ended. Try to find some positives out of this negative, basically.
 
Defer to the aspects about yourself that you enjoyed before you were with the person. Get back in touch with that part of yourself again. Go back to your hobbies, they are great distractions. Time heals all wounds, even if they take years to stop bleeding. Start focusing on yourself more seriously, utilizing the new amount of time that you now have to try to make improvements on your quality of life for yourself. If you're lonely, maybe spend some time with your pets, or get a pet if you can. If not, there's always the people on this forum who are also lonely people. If you make it a priority to forwardly deal with your emotions rather than trying to ignore them, than it will be more upsetting, but it will improve faster. And lastly, and most important to remember: Always forward, never backward.

I walked out of an 8 year relationship about 4 years ago...while I was still in love with the woman. So believe me, I know how hard it can be. I'm over her now. It took me about 2 years to completely get over her. So it IS doable. As much as I loved the woman, we grew into different directions, and it just wasn't working anymore for either of us really. So, I had to be the stronger one and make the better judgment call for the both of us. We're still friends. We just rarely talk. In part, because I dealt with it forwardly, and she is only just now trying to deal with it. We've had all the arguments, said all the things to say. And we made it through as friends. I'm respectfully giving her the time she needs to deal with it. I have a feeling that when she's finally dealt with it and over me, that we'll be talking semi-regularly again as friends.

It just takes time.
One day at a time.
Baby steps will get you a long, long way.

Sleep helps. It resets the brain a bit.
Good luck. Peace be with you.
Don't make any irrational decisions. This is only temporary.
 
Thank you everyone for the positive messages. The days are getting easier to get through. I'm focusing more on my hobbies; spending more time at the gym and on my studies for uni. So I guess that's a positive to be happy about.
 
Just keep yourself busy. Try not to focus on what went wrong, but learn from what did, if that makes any sense. Get out into the world and try to have fun. Live your life for what it is now, not what it was before.
 

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