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Woman said she didn't find me handsome
#1
Now to explain. This was in a photo. This was someone
That I matched with on tinder. This was a woman who I thought her profile was fake at first. This is a woman who was not born here and her first language is not english
Ok..now that we got all that out of the way.
You are are wondering why on earth would someone say that you would think liked you or found you somewhat attractive on an app that is based on appreance? Well good question. Well I assumed she liked my photo. And we were even taking on phone. She was even open and still is open to meet. But somehow we go to talking about my photo and she told me she showed my photo to her co- worker and her co worker said I had a "mean face" ok granted I see how that can be. Since I was not smiling in that photo. But mean face I can deal with. But somehow we got to talking more about my photos. And she kinda came out and said she didnt think I was handsome. Which is odd.
Becuse A. Why would you say that to someone you are planning on meeting? And here is my main problem.
That I just don't agree. And I got compliments from people who said I am nice looking. I think I am nice looking. Not a super model by any stretch. So C. Is why on earth would I still want to meet a woman who thinks that? And..my main issue is. The biggest problem is why I am posting in self-esteem. Is when I hear a negative something like this from someone. A woman
Should I believe it? I am unnatractive? All it takes is one comment like that to throw me into a bad thinking pattern. Even after feeling good. Feeling I am a nice looking guy. So should I believe this woman. And think that is the case that I am not handsome? Eventhough I don't really think so??
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#2
Like I said to you last time, on your thread about looking like an owner...

It's a single opinion, you will not be handsome to every single person in this world, therefore obviously someone will say you are not handsome, I am sure there are women out there who find "Worlds hottest male celebrity (whoever that is) as not handsome".

Take it how you want to take it, if nine people say you are handsome and one persons says you are not, then it is your choice whether you can say well that's a ninety percent approval rating so I am most likely going to be handsome to the large majority of people, or you know you could just allow the opinion of one lady and go with that.

As to your question, if you hear something negative from a woman about you, should you believe it? Most certainly yes unless you have some reason to think otherwise, to go back to your previous post...

A women believes I am the owner of a donut store, sure believe her why would she lie? However just because she believes something doesn't mean its true, which is clear in this example. Opinions are just that opinions.
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#3
(08-28-2016, 01:36 AM)Jōkā Wrote: Like I said to you last time, on your thread about looking like an owner...

It's a single opinion, you will not be handsome to every single person in this world, therefore obviously someone will say you are not handsome, I am sure there are women out there who find "Worlds hottest male celebrity (whoever that is) as not handsome".

Take it how you want to take it, if nine people say you are handsome and one persons says you are not, then it is your choice whether you can say well that's a ninety percent approval rating so I am most likely going to be handsome to the large majority of people, or you know you could just allow the opinion of one lady and go with that.

As to your question, if you hear something negative from a woman about you, should you believe it? Most certainly yes unless you have some reason to think otherwise, to go back to your previous post...

A women believes I am the owner of a donut store, sure believe her why would she lie? However just because she believes something doesn't mean its true, which is clear in this example. Opinions are just that opinions.

Wait. A sec. Ok. Thanks for reply. My owner thread and this can be tied in a bit as they are both related to self-image. Ok. Now. The first part if your reply sounded very coherent and positive. How you gave examples of celebrity, and how some might not find them handsome. But when I asked about negative from a woman. I was still referring to the not handsome comment as a nagative. And you said I should believe it? On a dating app. Or anywhere else. When you are talking to a woman who is presumably somewhat attracted to you. Hearing later she finds your photo. Not handsome, again in a photo. Is negative!! No??
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#4
It's personal preference. She's allowed to think someone's not attractive. She's allowed to think someone is handsome. It's all her own opinion, and that's perfectly fine. I'm sure someone does find you handsome, so this lady's opinion doesn't have to weigh so heavily.
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#5
(08-28-2016, 02:13 AM)VanillaCreme Wrote: It's personal preference. She's allowed to think someone's not attractive. She's allowed to think someone is handsome. It's all her own opinion, and that's perfectly fine. I'm sure someone does find you handsome, so this lady's opinion doesn't have to weigh so heavily.

Regardless, it's just a weird. Odd, insensitive thing to say. Especially in a dating atmosphere where you connected with someone. I can see it being said. When you want to hurt someone intentionally. I wouldn't say it. And wouldn't want to meet someone in person who doesn't find me particularly attractive.

Now for a postive spin. Tinder os a very random place. Sometimes you match with people you don't intend to. And that you don't find that attractive. Well as it turns out i met someone offline like that and it turned out she looked much better, cuter. In person. So I was happy we met.
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#6
any chance she miss chose her words ?
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#7
Well she is a foreigner. And doesn't speak english that well. But. She was pretty specific. I mean..how else can one interpret that? And she was talking to me. Someone who obbsessss as you can see about a comment and lets it knock me down pretty easy. So...I did drill her on it.
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#8
If I say to you I think you are ugly, you should believe it, (it being that I believe you are ugly), you shouldn't believe that everyone will find you ugly, or if you are actually ugly or not. For if someone calls you ugly, it is not a fact is it an opinion.
[Image: tumblr_o79jjyXUwS1v7p6apo1_500.gif]
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#9
Keep it mind we are not talking about a person with a healthy, mind,ego.self esteem. So hearing something lime that would still be damaging. And shocking that a person would say it. And annoying.
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#10
Excuse my bluntness, and please know I mean this with the utmost respect, but that is your problem and your mindset, which is for you to deal with. For my opinion on the matter is, as someone who is also guilty of overthinking, overcomplicating, and overexaggerating may I add, the little things which people say to me, or say of me, (for they are little things in truth), I simply reflect on it, see if there is any truth in it, and once determined I decide whether to make some change or to disregard and brush it off for what it's worth.

If someone were to say I was not handsome, I would immediately brush it off as something so insignificant, for what does that actually mean? My looks, my facial features, my very genetics are not to the liking of some one other person, the very insignificance of such an opinion is laughable. Though if someone were to say I dressed untidily, walked clumsily, or have unclean teeth, then these are things to take into consideration, because a simple close inspection on those matters can easily determine whether there is truth in them or not and a change can then be made if necessary.
[Image: tumblr_o79jjyXUwS1v7p6apo1_500.gif]
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