This girl...

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Xpendable

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I've been interacting with this girl from where I study some time ago. All very casual, we're not close or even friends. Being LS I can't imagine approaching too much or pushing myself to catch her attention, specially since I fear being too clingy or awkward. I think I have a crush on her that has been growing. I notice she was different from the start, she is in 3rd year and I'm on 2nd but I'm about 6 years older. She has this weird sense of humor and some specific hobbies. I was initially interested but now I'm kinda hooked, she's also pretty -a 6 or a 7- (I use the rating system to describe, don't judge me), but I've never had the courage (obviously) to be closer to her. One day my classmates said I should "bang her" or whatever meaning this translates from my language. They said she was probably a virgin and could tell in a way I couldn't. I don't know if that is true but it seems it is. In the 18 months I've know her I've never seen her with a guy; romantically at least. This is a girl that 9 out of 10 times would have a boyfriend but it seems there's no guy behind her. My theory is that she has some kind of social disfunction. She acts weird sometimes and that can repel some men I guess. She's into anime and that obscure corner called Yaoi. I personally don't care about that but I can see why other men find it weird. Even other girls sometimes feel unconfortable around her. She's more awkward that many men and many times off-putting.

I got to play in one of her songs one time and I was able to get her whatsapp without asking :) We talk sometimes since then but I'm always concious of not pushing too hard or coming as desperate. I always think what I type and I'm concerned of not screwing up with some stupid comment. The problem is she's kinda reclusive and sometimes hard to find. The other day I noticed it was her birthday but she didn't had her facebook activated for it, so only her family and close friends remembered. I thought this was some kind of way of staying in the dark with regards to people. She doesn't like facebook or any other type of social media and barely uses any of those sites. She also stays at home more than the average girl and hates going to parties or socialize too much. I've heard this from her classmates and makes really hard to know what she's doing or thinking.

Anyway, we just talk a couple of hours from know and she send me a picture of her room wall. She has this art and frames in an artistic way. I was surprised of someone seending something so personal to a person they barely know. You would think girls are very reluctant to share anything with some guy that could be a creep. Maybe she's that innocent or maybe she just trust me. I don't know. I'm really tempted to take this as my first serious shot, I really think I have a chance here but the bad part is that I can read her, I can't know what she's thinking or how she would react to certain things. I have no idea how her mind opperates and I'm really afraid of being rejected by someone I have to see every day at least for 2 more years. She's like this werid jewel that somehow most guys are too "normal" to engage with. And she's just standing there with no visible obstacle. I feel she has some circle of friends out of UNI with her weird tates but she barely post anything of FB, so is all mystery.

Well, I just wanted to get this out of my chest. I don't know how to handle this but I only have to keep investigating until is too late. Anyone who has some tip or theory about this; I'll be glad to hear it.

(Sorry for the spelling and grammar)
 
I think the regret from doing nothing would end up being stronger for you in the long run than the regret of rejection would.

By the way what does LS stand for?
 
"You would think girls are very reluctant to share anything with some guy that could be a creep."

How do you know that she doesn't find you to be a creep but actually finds you refreshing? Sounds to me she's tired of all the "typical" guys that surround her and of the daily norm...social media, cliques, same daily grind, etc . She might just see you as someone "different" and appealing, hence the reason she shared her artwork with you...you know, artist to artist.

Why not comment on her artwork and show an interest in what makes her click? Ask her to share more of her artwork and if she does it could be a good sign. Get her to open up about her interests and take it slowly.
 
You're turning her into this unattainable object in your mind. It's only going to get worse the longer you hesitate.
 
ardour said:
You're turning her into this unattainable object in your mind. It's only going to get worse the longer you hesitate.

I agree with this. And at the end of the day, most girls want a guy who will make a move for what he wants.
 
I think from what you say, she has assessed you enough (and had long enough) to figure out she is somewhat comfortable around you, to show you what she did.

One thing you said about not being able to read her, so many people feel like that and that is where it will take a risk putting yourself out there. Because the answer will always be no if you don't ask the question.

She obviously interests you, and you would like to know more about her, so why not just step it up a little. Maybe mention something you know she is interested in, that you enjoy or at least interests you a little. See if she would like to hang out somewhere to discuss it. Or is there an art exhibition that she might like you could suggest, then say maybe we could go together.

No pressure and then you get a chance to know more about her, if she feels the same way, then anything romantic has a chance to grow.

Good luck.
 
Talking to her is the start, and you're doing that. Go with the flow is the rule of thumb, if something has to be forced, it will create awkwardness.
 
Aw how cute. I agree with Serenia. Anyway nothing bad in trying to spend more time together and see how it goes :) good luck!
 
ardour said:
You're turning her into this unattainable object in your mind. It's only going to get worse the longer you hesitate.

Yes, I agree. She's just a person. Treat her as such. I don't know why some guys have it in their mind that women need to be treated differently. We're not some poorly put together fragile doll. Being bold doesn't mean being pushy. If you feel like the time is right, whenever that is, let her know how you feel.
 
Ask today. No sense drawing it out. If she says no then that's ok. Don't be weird about it and it won't be weird.
 
beautiful loser said:
"You would think girls are very reluctant to share anything with some guy that could be a creep."

How do you know that she doesn't find you to be a creep but actually finds you refreshing? Sounds to me she's tired of all the "typical" guys that surround her and of the daily norm...social media, cliques, same daily grind, etc . She might just see you as someone "different" and appealing, hence the reason she shared her artwork with you...you know, artist to artist.

Why not comment on her artwork and show an interest in what makes her click? Ask her to share more of her artwork and if she does it could be a good sign. Get her to open up about her interests and take it slowly.

I know she doesn't and that she trust me, but I feel she's just generally trustworthy. I'm not more special to her than any of her friends, in fact she probably doesn't consider me a friend as close as many others she has. We've talked about her stuff in the past and also mine, besides that I can't move the conversation to the usual stuff, is not what I want.
 
VanillaCreme said:
Yes, I agree. She's just a person. Treat her as such. I don't know why some guys have it in their mind that women need to be treated differently. We're not some poorly put together fragile doll. Being bold doesn't mean being pushy. If you feel like the time is right, whenever that is, let her know how you feel.

It doesn't has to do with idealism, but for guys, we have to treat them differently; especially guys like me who could ruin everything with a sentence. I didn't mention she has this weird behavior arround most people. She's very socially awkward and unpredictable. You never know how she feels or how could she react. You have to understand this as a delicate procedure, if I fail I would have to keep seeing this person for at least 2 more years on a daily basis. She's not average and not normal, other girls have said this, they don't spend too much time with her even when girls tend to be social because she is weird. There's no really a method or a plan to follow in this case.
 
kamya said:
Xpendable said:
I don't decide the outcome.

As guys we almost never do. We can only introduce possibilities.

Nobody decides the outcome. What happens, happens, only by the participation of those involved.
 
At some point a yes or no will be up to someone. And they will make a decision. Id say that person, whoever it is, gets to decide on the outcome. At least for their immediate future anyways.
 
Xpendable said:
VanillaCreme said:
Yes, I agree. She's just a person. Treat her as such. I don't know why some guys have it in their mind that women need to be treated differently. We're not some poorly put together fragile doll. Being bold doesn't mean being pushy. If you feel like the time is right, whenever that is, let her know how you feel.

It doesn't has to do with idealism, but for guys, we have to treat them differently; especially guys like me who could ruin everything with a sentence. I didn't mention she has this weird behavior arround most people. She's very socially awkward and unpredictable. You never know how she feels or how could she react. You have to understand this as a delicate procedure, if I fail I would have to keep seeing this person for at least 2 more years on a daily basis. She's not average and not normal, other girls have said this, they don't spend too much time with her even when girls tend to be social because she is weird. There's no really a method or a plan to follow in this case.

Even if you do have to see her for two years afterwards, it's hardly the end of the world.
 

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