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Hello this is my second post here. First being my introduction. So here's my problem. I know why I'm alone. I was bullied a lot in school. And even once at work. Two years ago my best friend of 14 years me and him split. For me it's hard to make friends becasue I feel like I don't want t trust again. Let someone in. And I let that effect me at work with this pretty co worker. Who I could tell really liked me. Me and her was flirting with each other. I even asked her out. Maybe giving it a shot. But then something came to mind. About trusting. It's like my heart wants to love. But my mind is telling me no becasue of past experiences. So...I stopped talking her. Ignored her. She would roll her eyes, when I walked by. And other ways showing she was mad. I know getting hurt is part of life. But I did try to make it up. When I toke my last break, I grew a pair of balls. And bought some red roses(well fake roses I mean I didn't have no where to put the big ones at) I would hope she would accept it. So I saw her gave it to her. She said thanks. I didn't want to make any drama. So I just gave it to her and walked away. I saw last week, we were alone. She was smiling, fr the first time. We both started to talk But she said "you go first" I wanted to tell her. I'm sorry for pushinh her away. That it's hard for me to trust. But I didn't say nothing. I said "Never mind.." She walked away asking "are you sure?" Before she walked out she looked back. I apologize if I misspelled or its or cramped together doing this from my iPod.
 
Do you think you could Facebook message her and explain all of this? It might be easier.
 
Paraiyar said:
Do you think you could Facebook message her and explain all of this? It might be easier.

I had her on Facebook. But deleted her. I know big mistake. I was working on stocking the water this evening. I saw her shopping she was staring at me as she walked by. I know it was a mistake deleting her.
 
GambleInTheWind said:
Paraiyar said:
Do you think you could Facebook message her and explain all of this? It might be easier.

I had her on Facebook. But deleted her. I know big mistake. I was working on stocking the water this evening. I saw her shopping she was staring at me as she walked by. I know it was a mistake deleting her.

Just message and explain everything.
 
Here's the update on what happened. Saturday I told her in person. Why I stopped talking to her. And she replied "Oh okay, I understand I understand. So you toke it out on me" but I didn't tell her I didn't tell her I did it out of being scared and openi up.
 
You should tell her the whole truth. All of it. It's not fair for all of that to be put on her. She didn't do it to you. So perhaps sharing your experiences with whatever has happened will help open her mind a little bit to it. I know you didn't want to take it out on her, but she was probably thinking that she did something wrong. Complete honesty and openness is what I'd suggest. Either that, or bustle up to the idea that you should leave her be. Because that's not right that she keep being tossed around because of past experiences from someone that had nothing to do with her.
 
VanillaCreme said:
You should tell her the whole truth. All of it. It's not fair for all of that to be put on her. She didn't do it to you. So perhaps sharing your experiences with whatever has happened will help open her mind a little bit to it. I know you didn't want to take it out on her, but she was probably thinking that she did something wrong. Complete honesty and openness is what I'd suggest. Either that, or bustle up to the idea that you should leave her be. Because that's not right that she keep being tossed around because of past experiences from someone that had nothing to do with her.

I would agree with this.
 
Do you think it might be easier to write a note to her? If so then try that and try to explain what is going on. I understand the trust part. I am the same way. I think if she truely likes you then she will understand.
 
I think I should let her be. There's plenty of other guys flirting with her anyway. After what I did. I have no chance. I guess I should just be alone for longer to work on myself.
 
She might not like those other guys. If you truelly like her then let her know. Believe me I have been in your shoes. There was girl I really liked and every time I started to approach her I would back away and convince myself that she thought I wast good for her, this went on for awhile and I ended up moving. I found out a few years later that she had a crush on me but I moved and she did end up marrying someone else. I kicked myself over and over telling myself if I was brave enough then there was a good chance that we would be together. I would hate to see you go through what I did.
 
amulet said:
She might not like those other guys. If you truelly like her then let her know. Believe me I have been in your shoes. There was girl I really liked and every time I started to approach her I would back away and convince myself that she thought I wast good for her, this went on for awhile and I ended up moving. I found out a few years later that she had a crush on me but I moved and she did end up marrying someone else. I kicked myself over and over telling myself if I was brave enough then there was a good chance that we would be together. I would hate to see you go through what I did.

Well thing is this is at work. I don't want no drama at work. Not trying to make drama. I put myself out there.
 
Yea this being at work could cause some major problems. Just be nice to her and go on because you could lose your job.
 
amulet said:
Yea this being at work could cause some major problems. Just be nice to her and go on because you could lose your job.

I think I'm just going to transfer. To the market by my house. As hard as it is. I got to be strong and realize there's more fish out in the sea.
I mean I'm 28 and I got plenty of time. Not to mention me and her might not even last. Gotta go gor that postive thoughts.
 
Try to not let this get you down. Your still young and the right woman is out there. Dont rush into anything. I got married a little over seven years ago and I am 51.
 
You know what sucks though maybe if she wasn't so shy. Or acted differently when we was alone before I stopped talking to her. This would of not of happened. Not placing blame. But I was shy too and I pushed myself to talk. Maybe I should talk to her I think aunt or niece that works up front with her. Give her my of a detailed truth of my side. Saying I felt like she was pushin me away. Seems like a big misunderstanding but I saw her today walked by me saying hey.
 
Update: So tonight we walked past each other last night. Least this time she smiled a little and waved a little. Better then a shooting a bird wouldn't you say?
 
Update: So tonight I talked to her aunt about the situation told her the truth. Explaining how I might of ruined my chances. Also I I know she might of talked to one of my co workers. Who I am friends with on Facebook. I read on his wall she told him to call her. Then he updated his status saying "everybody has been hurt" and so on. Not sure if this is a good thing or really bad...
 
Just reading your original post I can see how honest your emotions are to her. In my opinion it would be good to say it all sooner than any time later. I don't see what could go wrong if she was really interested. Being shy in itself isn't bad but too much hesitation and not acting makes things harder. If someone really likes you, they would understand it. It's not like they like part of your personality and don't like a shy and laid-back characteristic. Moreover, showing your true personality have the person like you exactly as the person you are.

Now you have explained it all to her, I think you've done what you could and it's on her to decide what to do. Hopefully, you get the best out of this.
 
amulet said:
She might not like those other guys. If you truelly like her then let her know. Believe me I have been in your shoes. There was girl I really liked and every time I started to approach her I would back away and convince myself that she thought I wast good for her, this went on for awhile and I ended up moving. I found out a few years later that she had a crush on me but I moved and she did end up marrying someone else. I kicked myself over and over telling myself if I was brave enough then there was a good chance that we would be together. I would hate to see you go through what I did.
Yep all good advice...seems your looking for her to confirm your a hopeless case...if you behave in such a way so that she rejects you... that's fine ! she's done the work for you and you can just get back to nursing your hurt...but the point is you've so far behaved like a fruit loop and she's responded by being understanding, so seems she must like you..so stop using her to beat yourself up...stop focusing on yourself and take a real interest in her... where's she from , what movies does she like absolutely anything that pops into your deranged brain...and maybe that will go somewhere...she sounds like a really nice person. :. )
 

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