Let's play a game, everyone.

AnonymousMe · Sep 9, 2016

It’s not going to be complicated and I’m not sure if it’s going to be helpful, because online interactions are obviously not the same as offline ones, but I do hope some members get some aid or tips in learning how to interact with someone they’re interested in or with the opposite sex.

Anyways, the rules are simple; anyone can also suggest new rules to make this thing more balanced. The way it works is like this: a member that doesn’t or hasn’t had much luck in getting into a romantic relationship or talking to the opposite sex will set a scenario; it can be on any modest setting doing any modest activity, but then they must describe themselves approaching someone (I suggest this for guys) or getting approached by someone (I suggest this for gals). Since physical attractiveness is an undeniable factor, I suggest you all post a selfie of yourselves, to see what everyone’s getting into. Members must then reply and have a conversation for as long as possible, after the whole chat is done, the ones who set up the scenario must be rated for how they did as a whole by everyone, then suggest tips on what they did right, what they did wrong, what else they could’ve done and what else they shouldn’t have done. By the way, it’s forbidden to say stuff like “I’m already in a relationship” or “I’m married,” those comments obviously end the conversation, they happen in real life, yes, but we all know how to react to those, you’re allowed to reject though.

One more rule, since this is a forum, it’s obvious that you all have all the time in the world to think of an answer, but since that’s not how conversations flow, you must type in the first thing that comes to mind, or the second at most. Also, I know the whole thread could become a mess, so you’re all free to continue the “conversations” on PMS if you want, the only disadvantage is that the chat is not going to be seen, so it could leave out other members that are looking for hints without involving themselves in the thread.

I hope I made it clear enough, but I’ll leave an example down below, I’m playing too, so you can reply to my example if anyone wants.
Forget that you’re all friends or acquaintances, for now, you’re all strangers to each other.

Example:

"I have always been an introvert, but I go out to a plaza and make an attempt in socializing. There are so many places where I could go, restaurants, clothing shops, general stores, toy shops, etc. I decide to try out a clothing shop, but since getting clothes isn’t my main objective, I pretend that I can’t find a pair of jeans that fit my measurements, so I search for a worker, preferably a girl, that could “help” me find fitting jeans. I eventually find one and ask her with a timid voice, “Excuse me?”"

http://www.mediafire.com/view/4vdr7l2r175w3hw/IMG_0005.JPG#

(Now anyone can answer)

(Sorry for the sh*t quality selfie; I don’t have a cell phone. Pretend my hair's combed too.)

Paraiyar · Sep 9, 2016

AnonymousMe said:
It’s not going to be complicated and I’m not sure if it’s going to be helpful, because online interactions are obviously not the same as offline ones, but I do hope some members get some aid or tips in learning how to interact with someone they’re interested in or with the opposite sex.

Anyways, the rules are simple; anyone can also suggest new rules to make this thing more balanced. The way it works is like this: a member that doesn’t or hasn’t had much luck in getting into a romantic relationship or talking to the opposite sex will set a scenario; it can be on any modest setting doing any modest activity, but then they must describe themselves approaching someone (I suggest this for guys) or getting approached by someone (I suggest this for gals). Since physical attractiveness is an undeniable factor, I suggest you all post a selfie of yourselves, to see what everyone’s getting into. Members must then reply and have a conversation for as long as possible, after the whole chat is done, the ones who set up the scenario must be rated for how they did as a whole by everyone, then suggest tips on what they did right, what they did wrong, what else they could’ve done and what else they shouldn’t have done. By the way, it’s forbidden to say stuff like “I’m already in a relationship” or “I’m married,” those comments obviously end the conversation, they happen in real life, yes, but we all know how to react to those, you’re allowed to reject though.

One more rule, since this is a forum, it’s obvious that you all have all the time in the world to think of an answer, but since that’s not how conversations flow, you must type in the first thing that comes to mind, or the second at most. Also, I know the whole thread could become a mess, so you’re all free to continue the “conversations” on PMS if you want, the only disadvantage is that the chat is not going to be seen, so it could leave out other members that are looking for hints without involving themselves in the thread.

I hope I made it clear enough, but I’ll leave an example down below, I’m playing too, so you can reply to my example if anyone wants.
Forget that you’re all friends or acquaintances, for now, you’re all strangers to each other.

Example:

"I have always been an introvert, but I go out to a plaza and make an attempt in socializing. There are so many places where I could go, restaurants, clothing shops, general stores, toy shops, etc. I decide to try out a clothing shop, but since getting clothes isn’t my main objective, I pretend that I can’t find a pair of jeans that fit my measurements, so I search for a worker, preferably a girl, that could “help” me find fitting jeans. I eventually find one and ask her with a timid voice, “Excuse me?”"

http://www.mediafire.com/view/4vdr7l2r175w3hw/IMG_0005.JPG#

(Now anyone can answer)

(Sorry for the sh*t quality selfie; I don’t have a cell phone. Pretend my hair's combed too.)

Before I start my reply, I want to say that you look good in your picture, much better than what I was expecting from the way you talk about yourself.

I'm happy to play this game but I want to say something and I apologize in advance if what I say isn't helpful: In my opinion, when you're a guy hoping to attract a girl, body language and facial expressions are everything. If you don't like yourself then it's going to be really difficult to hide that from a girl, they are really good at sensing it in men and it makes them uncomfortable. Whereas I think a girl can get away with being insecure or nervous as long as she is pretty enough. Some members here might disagree with me and I'm happy to be corrected if that is the case.

I'll try and get an up to date selfie at some point soon so I can join in.

Lacrecia · Sep 9, 2016

Paraiyar said:
Whereas I think a girl can get away with being insecure or nervous as long as she is pretty enough.

and if she is not pretty enough? lol

TheRealCallie · Sep 9, 2016

Lacrecia said:
Paraiyar said:

Whereas I think a girl can get away with being insecure or nervous as long as she is pretty enough.

Click to expand...

and if she is not pretty enough? lol

No one wants an ugly woman, Lacrecia :club:

Seriously though, I think it entirely depends on how the nervousness projects out to others. If it's because of insecurities sure, it might be a problem, but if it's because of simple shyness, it think it's more endearing than anything else. That applies to both men and women, IMO.

ThatZealousOne · Sep 9, 2016

Seems like a fun little idea. Though I may just be thinking that because I'm quite into my roleplay. Nonetheless, I would suggest doing this in PMs rather than everyone doing stuff in a thread all at the same time. I imagine that may be... confusing. Perhaps then posting the whole conversation in one post for convenience so that people can comment and read it easier.

kamya · Sep 9, 2016

Do we have to identify with the gender we were assigned at birth or can i post my selfie as a woman. :O

Just... hypothetically speaking

AnonymousMe · Sep 9, 2016

kamya said:
Do we have to identify with the gender we were assigned at birth or can i post my selfie as a woman. :O

Just... hypothetically speaking

If you're going to post a selfie, just post one of how you appear publically.

Wayfarer · Sep 9, 2016

Lol in my case it's the same here or irl, hypotetic or real scenario XD

Paraiyar · Sep 9, 2016

Lacrecia said:
Paraiyar said:

Whereas I think a girl can get away with being insecure or nervous as long as she is pretty enough.

Click to expand...

and if she is not pretty enough? lol

Then she'll have a harder time attracting guys.

Paraiyar · Sep 9, 2016

TheRealCallie said:
Lacrecia said:

Paraiyar said:

Whereas I think a girl can get away with being insecure or nervous as long as she is pretty enough.

Click to expand...

and if she is not pretty enough? lol

Click to expand...

No one wants an ugly woman, Lacrecia :club:

Seriously though, I think it entirely depends on how the nervousness projects out to others. If it's because of insecurities sure, it might be a problem, but if it's because of simple shyness, it think it's more endearing than anything else. That applies to both men and women, IMO.

I disagree. I think it's perefectly possoble for behaviour to come off as endearing and stil be a turnoff sexually. And I think sexual attraction for men is usually mostly physical but for women it's mostly psychological. Which is why you see a lot of beautiful women with men who aren't that great looking.

But I don't want to drag this thread off topic so I'll stop.

Texas · Sep 12, 2016

Paraiyar said:
TheRealCallie said:

Lacrecia said:

Paraiyar said:

Whereas I think a girl can get away with being insecure or nervous as long as she is pretty enough.

Click to expand...

and if she is not pretty enough? lol

Click to expand...

No one wants an ugly woman, Lacrecia :club:

Seriously though, I think it entirely depends on how the nervousness projects out to others. If it's because of insecurities sure, it might be a problem, but if it's because of simple shyness, it think it's more endearing than anything else. That applies to both men and women, IMO.

Click to expand...

I disagree. I think it's perefectly possoble for behaviour to come off as endearing and stil be a turnoff sexually. And I think sexual attraction for men is usually mostly physical but for women it's mostly psychological. Which is why you see a lot of beautiful women with men who aren't that great looking.

But I don't want to drag this thread off topic so I'll stop.

I can't agree with the above statement. I can't speak for all woman obviously, but I feel women are a little more open to sharing their feelings and sharing *themselves* which leads to a faster emotional connection. Whereas men tend to react a little more quickly on the basis of physical attraction. Because they're less likely to share themselves, they have a bit harder time making it to the next step of forming some sort of emotional connection. I also can't speak for all men and not all men are like that. I also feel it has a lot to do with preference. Some woman like the shy guys and some like the confident guy. Physical preference isn't a must, but it does help. If I look more attractive than the guy next to me, I obviously have an advantage. If that same guy has a much higher IQ and knows exactly what to say he has a different advantage over me. Woman aren't totally different than us men, they both weigh out options. You don't think there is some women looking for a tall, handsome guy with gorgeous eyes? I would like someone to tell me differently. That doesn't mean that there aren't others looking for the intellectual type. That also doesn't mean that they will say no to the intellectual type even if they are looking for the handsome guy. It's all about preference, I want to eventually end up with a tall red head with green eyes, but it hasn't stopped me from dating other types of girls. I can only imagine woman have a similar thought process. As a whole, I mean men and women, we get caught up in the reasons why someone wouldn't want us, but we should focus on the reasons why someone would want us. Why else would I see less than average looking women with very attractive guys? perhaps you only notice the unattractive guy with the hot blonde because you aren't looking at it objectively?

To answer the original guy's scenario, I personally wouldn't hit on a girl at work. The last thing anyone wants is to be hit on at work. You don't look your best, you hate your life most likely (especially if you're showing people clothes all day), and woman especially get hit on all the time at work. I'm not meaning to explain this in a rude way, but if you could give me a better scenario I don't mind answering. Some random encounter at the park? Maybe a girl giving you a sweet smile while shopping? maybe a nerdy girl walking her pomeranian down the street. If you don't feel up to it, I understand.

Some of this might be arrogant and biased. I'm not here to start an argument or continue one, all this is my opinion that I've learned through my own experiences.

Paraiyar · Sep 12, 2016

Texas said:
Paraiyar said:

TheRealCallie said:

Lacrecia said:

Paraiyar said:

Whereas I think a girl can get away with being insecure or nervous as long as she is pretty enough.

Click to expand...

and if she is not pretty enough? lol

Click to expand...

No one wants an ugly woman, Lacrecia :club:

Seriously though, I think it entirely depends on how the nervousness projects out to others. If it's because of insecurities sure, it might be a problem, but if it's because of simple shyness, it think it's more endearing than anything else. That applies to both men and women, IMO.

Click to expand...

I disagree. I think it's perefectly possoble for behaviour to come off as endearing and stil be a turnoff sexually. And I think sexual attraction for men is usually mostly physical but for women it's mostly psychological. Which is why you see a lot of beautiful women with men who aren't that great looking.

But I don't want to drag this thread off topic so I'll stop.

Click to expand...

I can't agree with the above statement. I can't speak for all woman obviously, but I feel women are a little more open to sharing their feelings and sharing *themselves* which leads to a faster emotional connection. Whereas men tend to react a little more quickly on the basis of physical attraction. Because they're less likely to share themselves, they have a bit harder time making it to the next step of forming some sort of emotional connection. I also can't speak for all men and not all men are like that. I also feel it has a lot to do with preference. Some woman like the shy guys and some like the confident guy. Physical preference isn't a must, but it does help. If I look more attractive than the guy next to me, I obviously have an advantage. If that same guy has a much higher IQ and knows exactly what to say he has a different advantage over me. Woman aren't totally different than us men, they both weigh out options. You don't think there is some women looking for a tall, handsome guy with gorgeous eyes? I would like someone to tell me differently. That doesn't mean that there aren't others looking for the intellectual type. That also doesn't mean that they will say no to the intellectual type even if they are looking for the handsome guy. It's all about preference, I want to eventually end up with a tall red head with green eyes, but it hasn't stopped me from dating other types of girls. I can only imagine woman have a similar thought process. As a whole, I mean men and women, we get caught up in the reasons why someone wouldn't want us, but we should focus on the reasons why someone would want us. Why else would I see less than average looking women with very attractive guys? perhaps you only notice the unattractive guy with the hot blonde because you aren't looking at it objectively?

To answer the original guy's scenario, I personally wouldn't hit on a girl at work. The last thing anyone wants is to be hit on at work. You don't look your best, you hate your life most likely (especially if you're showing people clothes all day), and woman especially get hit on all the time at work. I'm not meaning to explain this in a rude way, but if you could give me a better scenario I don't mind answering. Some random encounter at the park? Maybe a girl giving you a sweet smile while shopping? maybe a nerdy girl walking her pomeranian down the street. If you don't feel up to it, I understand.

Some of this might be arrogant and biased. I'm not here to start an argument or continue one, all this is my opinion that I've learned through my own experiences.

Everything I said was a generalization, hence you can find conflicting examples such as an attractive guy with an unattractive woman. But generally men are drawn to physical attraction first which is why a pretty girl with an ugly personality can still get laid easily even if a lot of guys wouldn't want to date her. Some women like shy guys but in my experience those women are normally shy themselves and won't approach and so the shy guy often misses out anyway. This is all just opinion but I think shyness is definitely one of the worst traits a guy can have for getting what they want out of life.

I also don't recall saying that some women don't have physical requirements but for most of them, sexual attraction is more rooted in psychological factors. At least that is how I see it.

ardour · Sep 12, 2016

^ I don't see many noticeably unattractive but otherwise decent men getting into relationships.

Paraiyar · Sep 12, 2016

Our experience differs then. I see quite a few guys who are average looking with attractive partners.

Texas · Sep 12, 2016

I just don't share the same experience. It's all about preference on both sides. Women will always look at you physically, before deciding if they want to get "familiar" with you. They will even communicate with friends about this. What women are attracted to will vary immensely, just like it does with men. There are a lot of men and women who date people who others don't find attractive. Being shy could be difficult for anyone if you're not willing to get noticed.

I see a huge portion of promiscuous women that I find very unattractive.

ardour · Sep 12, 2016

nevermind

Paraiyar · Sep 12, 2016

Texas said:
I just don't share the same experience. It's all about preference on both sides. Women will always look at you physically, before deciding if they want to get "familiar" with you. They will even communicate with friends about this. What women are attracted to will vary immensely, just like it does with men. There are a lot of men and women who date people who others don't find attractive. Being shy could be difficult for anyone if you're not willing to get noticed.

I see a huge portion of promiscuous women that I find very unattractive.

You're misunderstanding me. I'm not denying that women will notice a man on a physical level but it usually isn't enough on it's own and probably won't be enough to make them willing to approach whereas a lot of guys will see an attractive women and be willing to have sex with her right away. On the flipside, a guy who they might not be physically attracted to at first can still trigger attraction a lot of the time if he's confident and knows how to talk to them. That usually doesn't apply in reverse. Plus, I've known women who have never asked a guy out in their life but are hardly ever single but I've never known this to happen in reverse so I definitely think shyness is worse for a guy.

Of course there are some women who will absolutely only date a certain physical type but they aren't the majority.

Your last sentence kind of proves my point, women that aren't that attractive tend to be more promiscious because they have lower sexual desirability to men so they have to make themselves more avaliable.

Texas · Sep 12, 2016

Paraiyar said:
Texas said:

I just don't share the same experience. It's all about preference on both sides. Women will always look at you physically, before deciding if they want to get "familiar" with you. They will even communicate with friends about this. What women are attracted to will vary immensely, just like it does with men. There are a lot of men and women who date people who others don't find attractive. Being shy could be difficult for anyone if you're not willing to get noticed.

I see a huge portion of promiscuous women that I find very unattractive.

Click to expand...

You're misunderstanding me. I'm not denying that women will notice a man on a physical level but it usually isn't enough on it's own and probably won't be enough to make them willing to approach whereas a lot of guys will see an attractive women and be willing to have sex with her right away. On the flipside, a guy who they might not be physically attracted to at first can still trigger attraction a lot of the time if he's confident and knows how to talk to them. That usually doesn't apply in reverse. Plus, I've known women who have never asked a guy out in their life but are hardly ever single but I've never known this to happen in reverse so I definitely think shyness is worse for a guy.

Of course there are some women who will absolutely only date a certain physical type but they aren't the majority.

Your last sentence kind of proves my point, women that aren't that attractive tend to be more promiscious because they have lower sexual desirability to men so they have to make themselves more avaliable.

I understand, but we just don't agree. Physical appearance is definitely enough for some women.Some women probably wouldn't even acknowledge you if you aren't physically attractive. I think it's even on both sides. I know plenty of confident women that aren't attractive to some, who have plenty of opportunities with men. If someone knows what to say, rather female or male, they can get opportunities for themselves. It's normal for men to be the one's who initiate the relationship, but I've also been approached by plenty of women. I can agree if you aren't willing to do something to get noticed and you're male, it could be harder for you to find someone today, though. It's not impossible.

I don't see how that proves anything, promiscuous people, in general, are that way either because they enjoy it or some sort of inner issues. There may be a select few females who believe that being easy will get the guy, but unfortunately, they'll figure out that doesn't work for long when the guy doesn't talk after.

AnonymousMe · Sep 12, 2016

Texas said:
To answer the original guy's scenario, I personally wouldn't hit on a girl at work. The last thing anyone wants is to be hit on at work. You don't look your best, you hate your life most likely (especially if you're showing people clothes all day), and woman especially get hit on all the time at work. I'm not meaning to explain this in a rude way, but if you could give me a better scenario I don't mind answering. Some random encounter at the park? Maybe a girl giving you a sweet smile while shopping? maybe a nerdy girl walking her pomeranian down the street. If you don't feel up to it, I understand.

Ugh, you just reminded me of a bad memory.

A few months ago, my mom and I went to a bakery that's nearby our house, you know, to get bread and stuff. While I was getting some near the store's entrance, I saw a really, REALLY gorgeous girl, it was my "type" basically: black, short hair, glasses, a bit chubby, but definitely not fat (had a tummy, but a well developed waist) and a curvy butt. I almost couldn't focus on getting the bread, all my attention was on this girl, although I don't know if it was love-at-first-sight or me just turning into an animal. For a fraction of a second, I thought about talking to her, but in the end, I decided not to and she left the store.
There were various reasons as to why I didn't made a move, at the moment, I wasn't very "presentable," just with my usual sports pants and t-shirt, didn't had mint for my mouth either, my mom was at the store with me, etc. She was quite attractive, so what could have been the chances of her NOT having a boyfriend already. The main reason why I didn't approached her though was because I reminded myself who I am, a man can every trait to be a chick magnet, but what woman would like to stay with someone that's not independent?
It's just how I see things: guys need confidence, be charming and/or have a physically attractive body to get the girls, but to keep them from leaving, they need to have what matters in the end, something that y'all are forgetting: a good salary. There's simply no point in dating if you don't have money, it sucks, but it is the modern take on the survival of the fittest rule.

Paraiyar said:
But I don't want to drag this thread off topic so I'll stop.

It's OK Paraiyar, my original intention for this thread is obviously not going to happen, so feel free to stay derailed from that purpose.

Restless soul · Sep 12, 2016

Who doesn't have money, paraiyar?

Let's play a game, everyone.

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